Are birthdays no longer important?

[SAH07]

I've celebrated a birthday recently, not a significant one, but noticed this year that some of my good friends haven't acknowledged it.

One of my oldest friends hasn't even sent a message. Previously we'd always exchange gifts, for nearly 30 years, even if late and send a happy birthday message on the actual day. They did know it was coming up because a mutual friend had asked me what I was doing that day on a group chat.

I do understand that as we age some people don't like to celebrate. I just think it's nice to receive a quick Happy Birthday message.

For me it shows someone that you appreciate them/care for them and are thinking of them. It seems even more important to me now as we don't know how many more birthdays we'll be lucky enough to celebrate or even the capacity to celebrate.

Am I just old fashioned and this is a new thing or are my friends just rubbish?

My best friends and I exchange gifts.
My birthday is sensitive to me so I appreciate when people are kind.

I told my partner for my birthday that I struggle a lot with it, and I would like a gift and dinner.

I laid my expectations out so there would be no confusion.

In this case I would think something is going on with your friend.

Maybe ask if she's ok? Sounds like you have a long and precious friendship so I'd investigate.

Always send a card to close friends and SM message to any other acquaintances on Facebook if it reminds me. I have dates written on my diary so i dont forget

I am with you op. I’m a card sender but this is a social media age where it’s easy and quick to do 5 taps on a phone and put some disingenuous bilge on Facebook. But actually buying a card, writing it and posting it would involve effort. Effort they’re too lazy to be bothered with. Cards are lovely and thoughtful. From lovely thoughtful people.

i pretty much forgot my own bday this year, presents wise i can buy my own if i want it and get what i want exactly at a good price. Cards are usually brought as standard from shops with no real choice so mean little.

i like it when time has clearly been spent looking for an item or card that is “you” but this tends to be more family.

i don’t like copy and paste “happy bday” no point to it

I love them, make an effort with everyone, family and friends.
Dp on the other thinks they're narcissistic nonsense especially for adults.

Is your friend definitely OK?

To get the poo off? Bleach won't move solid poo 😂

@tryingtohelp82 why would it be solid? If someone needs to, they can bleach the toilet after use, leave it a few minutes and then flush.

If it has been left, you should be able to bleach it and leave for a bit and then flush it and it will be fine.

What are you all eating/how infrequently are you all cleaning the toilet for this to be a problem that requires a specific brush?

Quite a lot of people have septic tanks and if you flush bleach in them you inhibit the bacteria that break it all down.

Why are you acting so surprised when toilet brushes have been around for yonks and millions of people use them?
I just like to scrub any mess straight away.

@ivedonejuryservice

I don't know if it's a hard water area. I just get a sponge and clean it - I don't mind toilet water on my hands, I just wash them and throw away the sponge afterwards.

I'm well aware that's uncomfortable for others, but having briefly been a support worker well... toilety things don't freak me 🤣

I will add that my toilet has never had skid marks or anything that need instant cleaning, maybe the shape 🤔

Yep. They’re an absolute pain and beyond milestone birthdays I’m just not interested. I have enough to do

DH (mid 30s) still gets upset that his aunts and friends don't send him presents for his birthday. I haven't celebrated mine in 3 years now. I think once people start to have kids they become less important.

I have friends who do and friends who don’t

When i was younger I didn’t care, I quite like it now.

I think you can lead by example a bit, but I don’t think it says anything about your friends. Some people just aren’t into it.

I am loving how this has diverted into a conversation about loo brushes and poo

TBH I think people got into the habit of relying on Facebook to remind them of birthdays, and now that Facebook is such a pain to use and it's not the first thing people look at in the morning any more, they haven't realised and transferred to another way of reminding themselves.

I just think a lot of people are very self centred and frankly rude these days!

I don’t particularly bother with my birthday. I don’t have it listed on the likes of Facebook as I don’t want the whole “Facebook tells me it’s your birthday” nonsense! If you don’t remember my birthday then we aren’t particularly close. But yes, I do think it’s nice to at least receive a happy birthday message from friends that do know, or should!

I hear you. I kind of feel like we're losing ceremony all round. These events which used to be shared with your 'village' seem to be becoming less valued as our lives become more insular. It feels like for all the connectivity of the internet we're losing the real tangible connections. Things which were once taken for granted such as regular face to face meeting with friends, gathering to celebrate someone making it another year around the sun, cherishing and caring for new mothers, helping out with each others children, showing that you're thinking of someone by sending a card for special occasions, generally being a community, are becoming rarer and rarer. To the point that people question why they're necessary and it feels like you're being demanding or expecting too much to want them.

It's something which makes me very sad.

I found that post 20s most people stopped caring about them - I do contact close friends on birthdays as it's a good time to touch base, but, barring my 40th, I haven't done anything with friends on my birthday since mid 30s probably.

Maybe your friend was going through something and completely slipped her mind .. I’ve done this with friends in past ( not out of habit but out of circumstance) however have messaged as soon as I’ve remembered with a big apology. I hope it’s all ok now and yes birthdays should be celebrated! It’s a way of being grateful to be alive for another year! That’s how I see it as I have underlying conditions and when they do decide to erupt I will surely not last long