How to work out finances with your OH

[Seaqueen24]

In a married couple, if one person earns 26k and the other in excess of 80k what would you say would be a fair split in paying the monthly bills and food shopping? Bearing in mind that the earner of the 26k salary does all of housework, washing and cooks meals etc and the earner of 80k pays for most of the work to be done to the house (house renovation). I know not one size fits all, just interested in hearing other people's opinions...

Are there shared children?

Any reason why you don't just put it all into one account and spend it as you both wish?

Hi @Ponderingwindow No, a childless couple.

My DH and I had a similar difference in income for many years. We have a joint bank account where all salaries are paid in and all bills go out. The rest is either saved or spent however we wish.
Why is the lower paid doing all the daily chores though?

Hi @Dacadactyl , higher earner isn't keen on this idea

For a married couple, all in one pot. Equal amount for personal spends.

I bet he isnt!

Marriage is a legal and financial partnership. A married couple should pool their money and decide together how it's spent. If the couple don't respect each other enough to be able to do that, then they shouldn't get married.

Same incomes really, all in one pot and we just have respect that one of us doesn’t take this piss. Have a budget meeting when we get paid and talk about what we have coming up and what needs to be saved etc but that’s it. Never had any issues in 15 years.

If you want to keep finances separate then proportional to income so 20/80ish split. But both people should be doing household chores

Why not? Are you a couple or just two people living together?

then it isn't really a proper marriage is it? All that I have I share with you etc etc

are kids planned in the future?

We put everything in one pot and have a set amount of money that we keep for ourselves which is the same amount as each other. DH fritters his away and I tend to keep mine for bigger things. Works for us.

I would put everything in one pot and split the household chores evenly.

if that doesn’t work, then proportionate to income and split the household chores evenly.

having more money does not mean a person is not responsible for running a household. Money can be used to outsource tasks, but both partners should benefit, not just the one with more money.

One big (leaky) pot in our house.
Same money.

You pay into a joint account at a roughly 20/80 proportion and you spend what you wish from what’s left over, though because there is such a big difference, the person making £26k should be holding back a bit extra for personal spending or the higher earner should cover some of those spends. Both should be doing housework if they both work the same amount or at the very least should be 50/50 when both are home. I’m personally not a fan of the ‘one pot’ approach as I’ve always had my own money and I don’t want to have to have a say in what dh spends his money on.

We have no kids and my husband earns much more than I do. We split all bills based on the percentage of what we earn. He pays 70% of bills and I pay 30% Works for us.

I wouldn't be happy if dh was happy to watch me struggle or go without while he had a huge pot to play with. We're a team and when finances are ok it's a joint benefit and when things are tight we both compromise. We have a shared pot but if we didn't I'd expect a split that meant we could live similar lifestyles

Equal time off, equal spending cash.

As far as I'm concerned if you are in a loving and committed marriage, watching someone work hard while you sit around, or watching someone eat bread and water while you eat lobster, makes you a total arsehole.

But I've heard of some very weird couples on here so there are other ways.

We have separate accounts and a "bills" joint account.
Total all household bills and apportion based on income - transfer to bills account each month. Any left over goes to savings.
Has worked for us, but we have always been 50/50 on everything.
I would hate just having one pot....husband doesn't need to know hiw much getting my roots done costs, I don't need to know how much his fishing trip.is.

I work part time (through choice). Until very recently didn’t really work much at all (choice, again.)

My DH doesn’t earn mega bucks, but earns relatively well.

No kids.

He pays for 80% of mortgage (I think…..), all house bills, car insurance, 80% of holidays, 50% of food shop (roughly), 80% of joint going out/entertainment, 80% of car maintenance, fuel etc etc.

I pay for everything related to dog, some food shopping, the extra % of the mentioned above.

He’s not keen on the idea of a shared account, but I think the split is very much in my favour and I spend on clothes, eating out, seeing friends, dog sports, gym whereas he doesn’t, so he prefers to save any money he has left. I’m a spender!!

What does higher earner want? I think finances should be transparent and both should have equal fun money. And respect each other, which means not expecting a partner who works full time to also do all the housework.

He keeps all his money and he gets a free domestic servant he can shag! You're a massive mug op.

It isn't a marriage its a master-servant set up.

Why the fuck aren't the chores split equally? Isn't your free time precious? Just his eh?

If you have kids, you'll be downgraded further still.

Here's an idea - seeing as you're doing two full time jobs, one paid emplyment, one unpaid domestic servitude, you invoice him for your hours working in the home - cooking, cleaning, life admin etc.

Or he pays for a full time house keeper.

Stop being a free maid! Get some self worth!

So does that mean he has much more free money than you each month?