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Original poster

Underwear that wasn't for me

51 replies

Sadmomma99 · 27/02/2024 22:11

I have been with my SO for 9 years. We have 3 kids. Lately he has been distant, on his phone alot more and messaging someone from work who 15 years younger, single, no kids. We spoke about it and he said nothing was going on, that they are just friends and I'm worrying about nothing. Things were getting better until I found something in his drawers. I found some matching underwear that he brought whilst we were on a weekend away together. They are love hearts and the words love. Boxers for him and matching bra and knickers. They are in a size small. I'm not a small amd he knows that and they are defo something i would never wear. He also had the package sent to his parents house and then hid it. How do I go about asking about this and Is here a reasonable explanation that I couldn't have thought of?

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 27/02/2024 22:15

To clarify..

What do you mean he bought it when you were away together?

Do you mean there was a reciet in the drawer with that date? Something that showed it was delivered to his parents?

Antelopevalleys · 27/02/2024 22:17

Emma Thompson is that you!?

Copperoliverbear · 27/02/2024 22:21

There is no reasonable explanation, he is getting ready to dip his wick.
Throw him out.

Original poster
Sadmomma99 · 27/02/2024 22:22

Yeah, there is a receipt showing when it was ordered

OP posts:
kitsuneghost · 27/02/2024 22:22

Have you asked him?

Original poster
Sadmomma99 · 27/02/2024 22:24

kitsuneghost · 27/02/2024 22:22

Have you asked him?

No. This is why I asked for advice first. I don't really have anyone I can speak to about it

OP posts:
Antelopevalleys · 27/02/2024 22:24

Could you put some deep heat in the crotch area of the underwear and wait it out?

HappiestSleeping · 27/02/2024 22:26

Antelopevalleys · 27/02/2024 22:24

Could you put some deep heat in the crotch area of the underwear and wait it out?

Ooh, that's good. 👏

Temporaryname158 · 27/02/2024 22:27

id remove the underwear and receipt and hide it out of the house where it won’t be found (ask a friend to house it) and then watch him squirm when he can’t find it.

I’d also take photos of all of this and prepare to throw him out!

AnotherDelphinium · 27/02/2024 22:27

Is it possible he ordered it as a surprise for you (but is clueless about sizing), then realised when it arrived that it was going to be too small so has just dumped it in a drawer?

Tiredgrumpyhormones · 27/02/2024 22:30

He may have ordered it without checking sizes. My DP asked when did I start buying size 14 clothes as he thought I was a 10. O have never been a 10 since I have known him !!!

IggOrEgg · 27/02/2024 22:32

Its a stretch to think there could be a reasonable explanation to this. He’s up to no good. Sorry.

Pinkbonbon · 27/02/2024 22:42

Hate to say it op but...I think you know what's going on here.

And asking him about it is not the route to take. He'll just deny and gaslight.

If you're a large and they are a small...he definately cheating. Maybe if you're a medium there might be wiggle room...and coincidently he might have thought there would be, well, wiggle room.

DaughterNo2 · 27/02/2024 22:50

I’d lay them out on the bed…

Daffodil18 · 27/02/2024 23:10

No point asking as he will say they are for you and then will say he bought the wrong size. You need to do some digging to get the truth.

PlumpAndGrump · 27/02/2024 23:12

Without being rude, how much of "not a small" are you? Are you a medium and he thought they might fit? Or didn't want to offend you by buying too large a size?

The messaging someone else is suspicious though. Would the underwear fit her?

I too would hide them and see what happens.

WakeMeAtYourPeril · 27/02/2024 23:12

DaughterNo2 · 27/02/2024 22:50

I’d lay them out on the bed…

Next to his packed bag.

MadMadamMimz · 27/02/2024 23:21

There could be an innocent person explanation. My dh once presented me a size 10 lingerie set when I have 32F boobs. There was no way in hell that I could shoe-horn my baps into those cups.

Confronting him is one way but be prepared that he might be lying. Alternatively, hide the receipt but not underwear and see if he either presents it to you or it disappears. If it disappears then he can't have returned it as you have the receipt which is when you confront him and see if he lies about returning it.

Original poster
Sadmomma99 · 27/02/2024 23:26

PlumpAndGrump · 27/02/2024 23:12

Without being rude, how much of "not a small" are you? Are you a medium and he thought they might fit? Or didn't want to offend you by buying too large a size?

The messaging someone else is suspicious though. Would the underwear fit her?

I too would hide them and see what happens.

I'm a size 18, 38c cup. He knows I'm not small because I've been trying to lose weight and my weight has gotten me down. What he brought as well is something I would never wear. The vr ans knickers are 2 separate purchases as well not together. They are both small. He also purchased them over 3 weeks ago. They cost £40. If I got the wrong size I would have returned them ASAP for a refund.

OP posts:
Newphonnearlythere · 27/02/2024 23:45

WakeMeAtYourPeril · 27/02/2024 23:12

Next to his packed bag.

Show quote history

This!

MyCatsAreFuckwits · 27/02/2024 23:47

Aw, it doesn't look good. Sorry
Options are:

  1. Lay them on the bed and ask about them and watch him tell any number of fibs to worm his way out of his situation.
  2. Hide them and receipt. He definitely won't mention the lack of tacky undies to you. Possibly watch out for more appearing in a different hidden location.

What a twat OP, get your ducks quietly in a row.

Sashya · 27/02/2024 23:49

You have three kids. Sounds like you are not married.
What is the financial setup?

It is clear what is going on - life with three small kids got to him and an unmarried 15years younger woman in Size Small is clearly his escape.

It's crap. Sorry

Ryah76 · 28/02/2024 00:02

@Sadmomma99 I think you know the answer- sorry

Xenoi24 · 28/02/2024 00:09

kitsuneghost · 27/02/2024 22:22

Have you asked him?

There's always one.

How can you post on this forum and be unaware that cheaters will lie and gas light indefinitely.

They don't tell the truth until they have nothing at all to lose .... Even if they leave, they still have their image to protect (to themselves as well as others)!and still.dont tell the truth

Xenoi24 · 28/02/2024 00:10

Can you get access to his communications in any way?

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