I’m sure many of us can resonate or maybe I’m just trying to understand if this is normal behaviour but how do your partners usually react when you bring up something that has upset you, whether it be how they acted, spoke to you or just their behaviour in general. Do they receive it well, do they listen and acknowledge and take accountability?
As for me my reality has always been I raise something with him, about how I’m upset as to how he’s acted or spoken to me and he will then get incredibly defensive! He will then deny that he did what I’m saying he did, gaslight me and then make me feel like I’m overreacting.
Because it’s been so consistent I tend to get very upset when he denies what he’s done, saying he didn’t do that or that’s not what he said. The gaslighting leads to no resolve and then he will complain women are just emotional or he will blow up at me and not listen. He will then get into a withdrawn mood with me for bringing up what he’s done so now I’m the one in the wrong by giving me silent treatment. This leads to me becoming increasingly more upset and then he tells me to lower my tone and not be intense and that he won’t speak to me when I’m so intense.
He then avoids accountability and tells me how I should not respond or react to his actions and then he will walk away and say this is why I can’t talk to you and then I’m left feeling crazy. Is this a gap that can be bridged or am I even more crazy for thinking so?