This is exactly as it sounds and I am broken inside. Just trying to figure out how to handle this.
Other than this a pretty great relationship, full of affection, love, friendship, butterflies for the last 6 years. (not married, he has two children from a previous relationship).
A couple of weeks back I saw a name on his phone it was a women, he was messaging her and quickly jumped out of the message in a guilty way. I ask who it was and it he was 'oh its the guys just sending rude silly pics' I could tell he was lying but didn't push it. Since then he has been cagey, takes his phone to the toilet with him etc. A week later I asked if I could check the mortgage (which was completely genuine) on his phone he was in the room with me and handed it over, as he did a ladies name flashed up as a notification. Last night I did something really bad, he went to quickly send an email from his laptop and forgot his phone and left his phone behind and I checked, there it was... he had been receiving messages and photos. I didn't scroll through, I didn't see any context or length of time. I only saw the most recent photo - It was literally 'I had my hair dyed, do you like it' and a photo, I saw some messages about sending naughty pictures but I got so freaked out at what I was doing and him being in the next room I put the phone done. Don't get me wrong I know I am in the wrong for looking but it confirmed my suspicions.
So I know he is NOT sleeping with her or anything like that, we both work from home and spend weekends and evenings with his children there is very little time spent away from eachother because of our personal set up. However I do not know this lady, she is not a friend, she is not a colleague (he runs he own business which I work part time in and doesnt have employees) he doesnt have sisters, just two teenage girls and I have stalked this women and there is no connection - her profile says she is from a town 200 miles from where we live.
How shall I handle this - I feel that maybe I should just come clean and tell him I looked at his phone and ask him to show me the messages and take it all from there.
This is on a total knife edge for me - in my opinion messaging is still cheating I dont know if he will agree or disagree and if he disagrees then its on me for not trusting him and looking through his phone. It feels like a disaster either way. Please provide any support, guidance thoughts. I am talking to him tonight - full day of meetings for both of us at home.