Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Strange boyfriend behaviour....

29 replies

twinkle2525 · 26/02/2024 13:52

I feel I'm with a narcissist please tell me what you reckon & please be kind. Story time:
I'm a mum of 3. Two teens and a 6 year old boy who I share with their daddy.

Met my new man over 18 months ago. We met in person. Very random meet. He asked me out. I wasn't really interested but he was persistent. He wasn't my type but loved his personality. Gave it a go. Why not.
We got on like house on fire. He couldn't do though for me. He idolised me completely.
Queen treatment. He's 46 I'm 32. He's financially secure. Got his own mortgage, car, good job etc. no children. Never married. Had a long relationship that ended 5 years ago.

Example, last summer, he turned up did all my garden for me, DIY in my house the lot. As I'd moved house and it was far from nice. Needed a lot of work.
My car broke down last year. It was not worth fixing. He bought me an Aud out right. I didn't even ask.
Looking back now he was totally love bombing me.
Since he bought the car last summer I felt things go a bit sour.
If we had a night apart, I'd let my 6 year old boy sleep with me for special mummy cuddles which he adores and my man would get very jealous and say how weird it is!! And he needs to grow up!! It disturbs me. But I thought hmmm he's not a parent he don't get it.
As time goes on it's apparent he's jealous of my little lad. He's a total mummies boy. In October I lost our first baby at 7 weeks. Don't come for me plz about getting pregnant too soon.
He wasn't the most supportive but he's a childless man & had much to learn. I was so poorly for 7 weeks and then poorly after miscarriage and he took it as me rejecting him cuz I wasn't myself. He has some great quality's but some bad ones.

When we met he was average Joe looking if you like. Because I go on the sunbed he now does and he's never touched one in his life. He's dark as ever. If I pierce my ear, he'll pierce his ear. If I have tomatoe soup he'll go make it too. I've always burned insence.. he's gone & bought 20 packs!! The creams I use, he's gone & bought for himself. I find it mad. It's like he's not got his own identity. He copies everything.
Since my miscarriage one minute he'll text me saying I don't want children let's get that straight!!
Then a few days later he'll text me saying let's make a baby. It's killing me.
I don't know what's real anymore.
My main concern is him saying it's weird my 5 year old is allowed in my bed. Xx

OP posts:
GN637 · 26/02/2024 13:57

Seriously? Why would you let this awful man into your life and that of your children? He's a red flag party. Get rid of him and I'd recommend the Freedom Program to explore why you fell for his love bombing and to protect yourself and your children in future.

DustyLee123 · 26/02/2024 13:57

Is your child 5 or 6?
And if this is true, he sound like a psycho. I hope the car is in your name.

RedHelenB · 26/02/2024 14:16

Give him the car back and end things.

something2say · 26/02/2024 14:16

Yes he is jealous of your child and doing all these crazy things to get you to fall for him. Im sorry, it doesn't sound good.

Starlight1979 · 26/02/2024 14:25

What on earth have I just read. Are you sure you're 32? You sound very immature for a woman in her 30s. The whole part about the sunbed and piercing your ears is just bizarre. Literally nothing to say to this post apart from I hope it's a joke. And if not, use contraceptive.

GreyCarpet · 26/02/2024 19:54

He asked me out. I wasn't really interested but he was persistent. He wasn't my type but loved his personality. Gave it a go. Why not.

Why not??

Because that was the first red flag. Before you were even together.

In fact, there are red flags on every line of your post and you're a fool if you don't end this now.

DiamondGazette · 26/02/2024 19:58

The jealousy towards my child would be enough to kick him to the curb, let alone the rest of the unappealing behaviour.

pictoosh · 26/02/2024 20:01

No Audi is worth a jealous, resentful stepfather for your wee son.

He love bombed you and now he thinks you owe him.

MinnieCauldwell · 26/02/2024 20:06

Please, please do not have a baby with him

savethatkitty · 26/02/2024 20:12

Fucking hell. The only weird thing is you haven't booted this knob to the curb. He is not a keeper

ChangeAgain2 · 26/02/2024 20:20

Don't tie yourself to this guy forever. He's jealous of your child. He unsupportive. He's insecure. He lacks personal identity. You really need to catch a grip and stop sleep walking into a disaster waiting to happen. Don't subject this dickhead on your kids. They have already been through enough.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 26/02/2024 20:24

Pathetic

Disturbia81 · 26/02/2024 20:27

The age difference in itself is grim.

Riverlee · 26/02/2024 20:28

Copying your every move is weird. Far enough to try something new, like having a suntan, he seems to have taken this a step too far. ( Curious, what creams has he brought?).

He diesn’t sound very supportive, and being jealous of your child is a big red flag.

Navyblueblazer · 26/02/2024 20:31

Give him the car back and tell him its over. This man is very bad news and extremely immature.

twinkle2525 · 26/02/2024 20:38

Riverlee · 26/02/2024 20:28

Copying your every move is weird. Far enough to try something new, like having a suntan, he seems to have taken this a step too far. ( Curious, what creams has he brought?).

He diesn’t sound very supportive, and being jealous of your child is a big red flag.

Creams - coconut cream & dove haha. He'd never used a moisturiser in 46 years.
Everyone is slating me on this post but just came for advice.

OP posts:
ChangeAgain2 · 26/02/2024 20:42

twinkle2525 · 26/02/2024 20:38

Creams - coconut cream & dove haha. He'd never used a moisturiser in 46 years.
Everyone is slating me on this post but just came for advice.

I don't think EVERYONE is slating you. The advice is very clear RUN in the opposite direction.

Throwawayme · 26/02/2024 20:50

He sounds really strange. Choose your little boy and get rid of the weirdo

TobyEsterhase · 26/02/2024 20:57

Sounds more immature than narcissistic

LifeExperience · 26/02/2024 20:57

He's a nutter. Run.

QueenAstrid · 26/02/2024 21:00

Get rid of him OP. Your little boy deserves better.

Pinkbonbon · 26/02/2024 21:03

Fucking run.

And yes, narcissists can go down the route of turning everything in your life into their competition. And even in cases like yours, a step further- stealing you. Stealing all that you are and making it them.

They don't have a 'them' really, it's all just bits and pieces of stolen people. People they've known over the years. Usually they try on a bunch of different masks. Sometimes they'll wear a mask of you to trick you into thinking they are the one for you.

In this case...he's already got you so it's more insidious than that. He is trying to break your mind and steal you away from yourself. Make you feel as...nothing...as he is.

Run. Run fast and run far. You have a particularly dangerous one on your hands. But the good news is, it's easy to resolve this. Dump, block and change your locks.

IsThePopeCatholic · 26/02/2024 21:06

You do know sunbeds give you skin cancer?

Zanatdy · 26/02/2024 21:06

Sorry but the comments about your child is enough for me. Poor kid, so he can only come in I assume when this man isn’t there. I hope none of this ridicule is done infront of the child. I’d give him the car back and end it

GreyCarpet · 26/02/2024 21:08

twinkle2525 · 26/02/2024 20:38

Creams - coconut cream & dove haha. He'd never used a moisturiser in 46 years.
Everyone is slating me on this post but just came for advice.

No-one is slating you.

But it is concernng that you can't see how worrying this is.

And you are being given advice. It's just not the advice you want to hear.

You need to end it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread