So obviously there is a backstory and more issues but there would be far too much to go into.
Basically I'm unable to have any discussion, raise any issue or ask for any help without being told I'm mentally ill, there's something wrong with me and I need help. I can see through his behaviour. Ever since he cheated on me he can't cope with people seeing him as less than perfect and seems to hate me. He's determined to get me on medication. Let Me say I am categorically not mentally unwell (not that there is any shame in mental illness but within my relationship it's used as a means of control).
He used to threaten to not come home and say if I didn't apologise for being crazy/a horrible person then he'd leave me and I'd never cope and I'd have no money. In the end I stopped engaging and responding to the paragraphs of abuse and just said "if you don't want to come home, that's your decision" he'd then go on, I'd repeat the sentence and eventually he'd say "you didn't apologise, so I'm not coming home. I'll be back tomorrow " he'd walk in the next day groping me as if nothing had happened.
I'm struggling that we share a child and I can't bring up any issues or concerns. He's taken to putting our young child on Xbox for hours a day. I wanted to address this but knew he'd be angry. I spent days thinking about how to discuss the issue. I text him (he refuses to talk to my face) and nicely said I was concerned about our son being on Xbox too much but that I wanted his opinion, what did he think was reasonable. I think maybe we should set a limit etc. He messaged a while paragraph basically saying "no I won't give him a limit because you have anger issues (I don't) and if he goes over the limit, you'll be mad etc etc. A bit more slagging me off. A few hours later I ask DP to have child for an hour. Child asks to go on Xbox and partner starts ranting, no you can't go on Xbox because of your mum. Your mum won't let you. She wants you to go out walking at night in the rain. I try to intervene and say I did not say this but he never lets me speak, talks loudly over me and ranting about how it's my fault child can't use Xbox (all in front of child).
This brings me to today; I honestly think he wants to elicit anger in me in a hope I'll look crazy. However I refuse and walk away if he starts trying to argue. I also no longer read or respond to horrible texts as I couldn't cope. He's determined to get me on antidepressants.
He said he was staying at his parents house last night as he had dentist at 12pm. I'm not sure I believed this but off he went for the night. I text him at 2.15 and asked what he'd been upto. He said he'd just got back from the dentist. I basically asked if he'd been at the dentist for over 2 hours and he basically just refused to answer me and sent me a paragraph of deflection stating I'm crazy and insecure. He has no idea how he puts up with someone as crazy as me, I'm mentally not well.
I just replied saying that I was making conversation, it just seemed a long time at the dentist, that's all. Basically, instead of just saying I also got lunch/went to shop/appointment overran, he just kept saying I was mentally unwell.
I honestly think he purposely orchestrates situations hoping I look nuts.
Also to note- he's a health professional and likes to assert that he's in control, to be worshipped etc. Even told me last week that he'a that man of the house and I put the kids first by cooking their dinner at 6pm instead of 8pm when he finishes Xbox.
Anyway, I didn't get a straight answer and his last message was him saying he hates anxiety and insecurity and none of his other exes were as mean as me (he often calls me horrible but refuses to tell me why or what I've done). He said I need sertraline and psychotherapy, unless the psychiatrist states I have personality disorder and then we are doomed.
I'm absolutely fuming but I can't say anything. This is the way things always go.
I do NOT have personality disorder. It's something he started saying when I discovered he cheated on me to deflect from answering questions. If I don't question him on anything, try to only speak when spoken to them I don't get told I'm mentally ill.
He's obviously trying to condition me to "shut up and put up" but I'm not sure how to cope in this situation anymore.