He’s lost interest?

[Datingdilemmass]

I’m a well seasoned dater but struggling with this one. Met a guy from dating app. Messaged and chatted for a few weeks before meeting up. He was very keen! Two dates were electric - and we were both chatting non stop, very excited. He was a real gentleman. It was such a joy to be around him. This is rare for me! Both times he made sure I got home ok, and quickly scheduled follow up date. We met last Wednesday and he was super keen to meet on last Friday too.

Thursday evening came and he said he was feeling a bit under the weather but was very keen to see me on Friday as we planned.
Friday morning he left me a voice note saying he would love to see me but he was coming down with what felt like a bad cold and he suggested having a chill one at his, but he also said he appreciates this may be too soon. So I reassured him and said let’s meet when you’re feeling better. We spoke the next day and he did sound unwell.

We message once a day normally but from Monday I noticed his messages were less keen. Subtle but noted. But he was still engaging. I assumed he was unwell.

On Tuesday he said he started to feel better and suggested we meet on Friday if I was free. On Wednesday morning I replied to say I was free on Friday. And I haven’t heard from him since! Not even a ‘great let’s make a plan’ or ‘great I’ll come back to you.’

He’s been on WhatsApp pretty much constantly but hasn’t sent me a message late at night or early morning. I’m strongly suspecting we aren’t going to meet and he’s not interested. But I just needed some reassurance.

He’s lost interest right?

you’ve seen him three times?

yes it would appear he’s lost interest OR he’s gone another another date and wants to see how that pans out before lining up anything with you

Shall I msg saying can’t make tomorrow and all the best? Or just leave it?

Just leave it, no plans had been made, he's not interested if he's not messaging back.

I wouldn't get into game playing, just leave it

If he’s on WhatsApp loads it’s most likely he’s juggling other women. I’d leave it. Don’t chase him

thanks for the replies
I won’t chase him, no
but I thought about letting him know I can’t make tomorrow evening and wish him all the best
to draw a line under it ?

I wouldn’t personally, as then it's letting him off for his crap behaviour. No response is a response

My last msg said ‘Friday is great’
I just feel a bit stupid to be left hanging like this

Don't chase him, just leave it. If he wants to see you he will contact you, if he doesn't then you know your answer

He's cooled off, and/or he's following up with other women.

I'd leave it and move on.

Sounds like you have a date with someone keen to see you. No need to be so jumpy.

It’s only Thursday. He may yet get back to you. It’s hard not to get invested but I think it’s too soon to mind so much about this and feel you need to draw a line under it. Keep busy with other things and let this play out. Yes, you may not hear again but you may do, so why force things to a premature close?

Just mentally make other plans for friday. If he suddenly reappears you can reevaluate and decide whether to give him another chance or not.

Almost certainly chatting to others (possibly cold was a cover for another date) and his ‘come here and chill’ was seeing if you’re up for sex.

Just leave it. Don’t message him again. If he does reply, then decide if you think he’s worth another meet up.

You didn't fall into his carefully laid trap of 'oh I'm under the weather, why not come to mine for sex, oh I mean a chilled out evening'. So he's gone onto easier game

If your truthful with yourself, you want to send this message to get a reply.

If he doesn't give one you feel worse and if do, you won't know if he felt forced.

Keep your power and act like he doesn't exist now. I mean you are too busy living your best life to noticing he's not messaged right?

misssunshine4040 no I’m done. I just want to close the conversation because I suspect he will message eventually. I guess I could block but that seems more drastic and like I’m bothered. Maybe it’s best just to leave it but he’s left me hanging and that annoys me.

Keep your power and act like he doesn't exist now. I mean you are too busy living your best life to noticing he's not messaged right?

ok ill do this and if he msgs again, ill just ignore 👍

I wouldn’t message. Things may have happened in his life. He could have read it wrote a message. got distracted and didn’t press send (I have done this many times) or not interested. You can’t guess or control his actions.

all you can do is see if he replies and make your decision from there on what you want to do.

I can understand that you want to know what's happening, whether things are on or off with him. There's nothing worse than not knowing where you stand with someone. From what you said, he messaged you and you replied the next day, maybe he's doing the same and maybe he doesn't want to seem too "in your face"? I only say this as when I'd been seeing dh a few weeks, I invited him to mine for dinner. I suggested it to him the week before, for the following Saturday night. He, as far as I was aware, never confirmed whether he was coming or not, just said "that sounds good" but I never heard from him all week to confirm arrangements. I got it into my heard he'd dumped me and it was over and was surprised when he arrived on my doorstep, flowers in hand, at 7.30 on the Saturday night. I soon learnt he was very "casual" to say the least, about arrangements. Maybe this guy is the same and will message you later today.

Don't message him. Just leave it.

You didn't fall into his carefully laid trap of 'oh I'm under the weather, why not come to mine for sex, oh I mean a chilled out evening'. So he's gone onto easier game

THIS
With bells and whistles and more bells on!
Oldest trick in the book eurghhhhh

This was the first thing I thought too.

I suppose I'm a bit naive but now I think about it, if you were feeling so ill, then why would you invite someone round to your house? Surely, you wouldn't want them catch it, or to see you at your worst at this early stage?

this