He’s lost interest?

[Datingdilemmass]

I’m a well seasoned dater but struggling with this one. Met a guy from dating app. Messaged and chatted for a few weeks before meeting up. He was very keen! Two dates were electric - and we were both chatting non stop, very excited. He was a real gentleman. It was such a joy to be around him. This is rare for me! Both times he made sure I got home ok, and quickly scheduled follow up date. We met last Wednesday and he was super keen to meet on last Friday too.

Thursday evening came and he said he was feeling a bit under the weather but was very keen to see me on Friday as we planned.
Friday morning he left me a voice note saying he would love to see me but he was coming down with what felt like a bad cold and he suggested having a chill one at his, but he also said he appreciates this may be too soon. So I reassured him and said let’s meet when you’re feeling better. We spoke the next day and he did sound unwell.

We message once a day normally but from Monday I noticed his messages were less keen. Subtle but noted. But he was still engaging. I assumed he was unwell.

On Tuesday he said he started to feel better and suggested we meet on Friday if I was free. On Wednesday morning I replied to say I was free on Friday. And I haven’t heard from him since! Not even a ‘great let’s make a plan’ or ‘great I’ll come back to you.’

He’s been on WhatsApp pretty much constantly but hasn’t sent me a message late at night or early morning. I’m strongly suspecting we aren’t going to meet and he’s not interested. But I just needed some reassurance.

He’s lost interest right?

Just leave it. You haven't got a plan for tomorrow. Until you've agreed what you're doing, or when you're meeting, there is no plan. He didn't follow through with your 'Friday is great!' with a suggestion of anything, so your evening is still wide open. I don't accept invitations to dates with less than 48hr notice, so at this point I would make my own plans and if he does deign to get in touch, shit outta luck unfortunately, he would have to arrange something else into the future to get things back on track.

But trust your gut. I think he has lost interest. You'll never know why. Doesn't really matter.

Sounds like he was up for a third date shag but no more dates.

I'm seeing dichotomys all over this. "He's very keen" but " we usually text once a day" - that does not sound all that keen to me. Was it more like he was buttering you up lots in person?
He was getting a bad cold, but this was not so he could cancell, more an excuse to get you at his place - in post-covid times, does anybody willingly want to catch a virus when pre-warned about it these days, he needs a better excuse?
He asked on Tuesday about Friday, but it took you till Wednesday to reply enthusiastically? You have a disjointed way of communicating, why take till next day to reply?
Texting a few weeks before meeting- maybe bit long that, no more than 2 weeks works IME.
Didn't you say you are a seasoned dater? I'm wondering at how the signs were missed in that case 🤔

You aren't stupid, he is stupid for playing stupid games and wasting your time. If I were you I would not message him and if he messages you again (and I think he will) ignore him.

Did you eventually hear from him OP?

If someone was genuinely interested in seeing you again but couldn’t work out schedule or there was any other issue on their end, they would have at least send a short message to let you know. Most plausible explanation was that he was waiting to see what other dates he was going to plan or simply that he isn’t interested in meeting again. I think you should be turned off by this kind of behaviour but don’t dwell on it too much - I don’t think sending a message for closure will likely work anyway.

He just wanted a shag, nothing personal op, they’re so fucking predictable.