I hadn't actually thought of her being that controlling until now, but it seems as if she might be, yes. She actually isn't my current hairdresser, I used her a couple of times over lockdown, but the hours and days she works (she also has another job) vary, and due to my work hours, it's just too far (just under an hour away, driving in rush hour traffic) for me to travel to see her on a regular basis. However, she knows this, and though she'd probably prefer me as a regular client, she's happily given me advice on getting my hair highlighted and when to go back to a salon. I also didn't realise how quickly her hair business was growing, and she's booked up at least a month in advance.
The last time I saw her it was quite embarrassing as she'd totally forgotten I was coming for an appointment (was in 2021) and I arrived at her house to find her in but her DH on the drive and both of them looking at me and quizzing me as to why I was there! And I had to remind her I had my hair appointment then! She luckily did it then and there but I wasn't too impressed she'd obviously forgotten my appointment and not realised so she could ring/text and tell me.
I'm not sure I would like her in my home for various reasons, because, as you said, I can leave and run if I go to hers whereas vice versa I'd have to get her to leave.
Re the friends issue. I don't think she judges or dictates to me who my friends are now, she couldn't anyway, we do have some but not many in common, but I did find it quite uncomfortable, as I said before, that I was almost pinned down in her chair, in her kitchen, and she was teasing information out of me and getting me to sympathise/empathise with her when I'd long forgotten about these bullies. I don't think I ever told her about the hair setting on fire incident which is when we last saw each other at that school! And when I left that school and moved to one just up the hill (a private convent one) I was told strictly by the teachers/nuns and other pupils not to mix with my old school friends so I did as I was told. I think I saw my old school friends once or twice walking past the school but I ignored them as I was told to do.
You have it down to a T though, friendly acquaintances is and was fine but I do think she has a drama streak in her which I wasn't aware of until recently. We are now not friends because of something which happened recently to do with Facebook which was more a crossing of boundaries/blurring lines on my part, I totally get that. It really wasn't that bad at all but she has totally blown it out of all proportion in my mind, and that's her right to do that. But as she wasn't a close friend anyway, not even a friend friend, and far more an acquaintance then I didn't see how I'd upset her that much and I still don't think her overreaction is normal nor healthy.
I do think she may see certain people in her life as allies and more friends with her than they actually are and I was one of them. Was a very loose friend/acquaintance because she's cut me off completely with no explanation, apart from via another party. And as I said before, with her sharing her bullying anecdote (which is only one side of the story from her side) and also stories of her life around the area (again I didn't know her then so I can't comment but can sympathise/empathise!) I feel as if she wanted some sort of ally/friend to support her and validate any bullying she received. She didn't seem to have moved on from this bullying when we last spoke and has obviously stored it in her mind, whereas I'm of the mindset, it's in the past, yes, I've dwelled on these incidents in the past but generally I'm very resilient and just want to move on!
Thank you for your input though.
My new boyfriend thinks it's a good idea I never gave her my home address though!