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Original poster

Annoyed because I didn’t answer?

36 replies

Darkretreat · 17/02/2024 17:32

Hi all,

So today my partner was going work, he took the charger with him and it’s my day off my battery was on 30%.

He is doing a 10am - 6pm shift.
So I haven’t used my phone much today to save the battery. His called me on all his breaks and I’ve answered etc. However when my little one went down for a nap, I fell asleep with him just due to boredom tiredness etc as it was my first day off just doing nothing as we recently moved.

By this time my battery was on 8% so I’ve gone to sleep and woken up when little one woke up and my partner calling me. I answered the first thing he abruptly said was “what are you doing? Why aren’t you answering” I responded normally saying I had a nap whilst little one was napping as I had nothing to do, he was like “Well I was calling you why weren’t you answering” I said I was sorry and it didn’t vibrate (no idea why) and then he said “When I want to speak to you about something I need you to answer my breaks ended by the time you answer and use all my time on there do what you have to keep your phone on loud, change your settings but answer” bearing in mind this is the first time this has happened.

He then called back and said it’s 4pm why has little one only woke up and I said he napped late and asked him why is he in a mood he said “well you would be too if I didn’t answer” I had checked his first call was 12 mins ago and he called me 6 times in that 12 minutes I told him there have been times he hasn’t answered and I am expected to be okay about it and times I’ve said nothing and he was just having a hissy fit so I got annoyed and called him a petulant child etc

i think my phone may not have vibrated due to being on battery saving mode and not being used for an hour or so. As I read on Google after that battery saver mode reduces the number of times your phone vibrates or something. But again I’m on battery saver mode as he took the charger.

Am I right to be annoyed? As I think this is the most pathetic thing to be in a mood about and the way he was going on pissed me off!

OP posts:
Original poster
Darkretreat · 17/02/2024 17:35

Oh and when I asked him what he wanted to speak about he said it was nothing and didn’t tell me. Feel like it was just an excuse to be moody if I’m honest.

OP posts:
ThereIsIron · 17/02/2024 17:36

Tell him to buy his own fucking charger on his way out the door with his belongings

IncompleteSenten · 17/02/2024 17:36

Sounds like he's checking up on you.

Shetlands · 17/02/2024 17:37

Good grief, why is he checking up on you constantly all day? He's totally unreasonable and needs to back off. Tell him you'll switch your phone off if he keeps harassing you.

TheSnowyOwl · 17/02/2024 17:38

So many questions here. Why one charger? Why does he check up on your so much? Why are you so bored without access to your phone you sleep? Is your relationship always this weird?

chrisfromcardiff · 17/02/2024 17:41

Darkretreat · 17/02/2024 17:35

Oh and when I asked him what he wanted to speak about he said it was nothing and didn’t tell me. Feel like it was just an excuse to be moody if I’m honest.

What the heck did I just read? Are you his prisoner? Really. This is an honest question. Why are you allowing him to control you like this? Are you afraid of him? OR - is this just a put on and you made this up to get enraged responses? If this is real, I truly worry for your safety. If you safely can, tell him to fuck off.

Lovetoshop365 · 17/02/2024 17:41

This is the start of being controlling...now you'll be in a panic whenever your phone rings.

Original poster
Darkretreat · 17/02/2024 17:42

We only have the one charger as he took the other to work and it got damaged and stopped working he said it wasn’t him. I was tired from the move we recently did and being at work so I just napped with our little one whilst watching tv.

he tends to call me on his breaks, I’ve never thought anything of it but there hasn’t been a time I’ve not answered unless I am working so today just pissed me off

OP posts:
Mrstwiddle · 17/02/2024 17:43

Get rid!!!

Original poster
Darkretreat · 17/02/2024 17:44

Lovetoshop365 · 17/02/2024 17:41

This is the start of being controlling...now you'll be in a panic whenever your phone rings.

I’m already here. Everytime he calls I feel like I can’t miss the call unless ofc im working otherwise I am in a panic that he may accuse me of something.

OP posts:
Throwawayme · 17/02/2024 17:44

Why one charger between you? Also, you must answer when he calls? Tell him to piss off.

Throwawayme · 17/02/2024 17:46

Just read your updates. I'll update my thoughts tell him to piss right off out of your life. Who does he think he is? Don't put up with this.

xyz111 · 17/02/2024 17:49

First of all, get on Amazon and buy another charger. Secondly, is this someone that is like this all the time? Or is he generally a nice person to be around?

Maray1967 · 17/02/2024 17:53

IncompleteSenten · 17/02/2024 17:36

Sounds like he's checking up on you.

Yes, this is my take on it as well.

Tell him straight - you walked off with the charger. Phone battery was running very low.

Don’t ever speak to me like that again.

userzH · 17/02/2024 18:01

Coercive control.

Sounds like my ex. I once didn't answer 3 calls - I was doing the school run and left my phone at home. To him that meant I didn't care about him.

He will become suffocating if he hasn't already.

daisydaily · 17/02/2024 19:05

Why do women actually live like this? I don't get it. Is he so amazing that you are prepared to live this life, constantly worrying about picking up a call from him?

Ulysees · 17/02/2024 19:36

daisydaily · 17/02/2024 19:05

Why do women actually live like this? I don't get it. Is he so amazing that you are prepared to live this life, constantly worrying about picking up a call from him?

They get conditioned. It's very sad.

Op you don't even sound as if you find this a worry? Just that you want confirmation. He's controlling and it'll get worse.

MorningSunshineSparkles · 17/02/2024 19:45

This isn’t healthy and your updates make it sound even unhealthier. Do you have family you could take DC to stay with? You need to be making an exit plan.

IncompleteSenten · 18/02/2024 10:40

First of all, buy another charger from Amazon or something.

do you have access to money?

What he's doing is not normal btw.

TeabySea · 18/02/2024 10:45

He doesn't sound very pleasant. Lots of good advice on this thread.
From what youve posted, this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship in any way, shape or form.

Comtesse · 18/02/2024 11:00

what reaction does he think you’re up to if you don’t answer his call so quickly? Hiding your lover in the wardrobe? Oh please.

He sounds bloody tedious and I think you are under reacting - this is intrusive and controlling.

Moier · 18/02/2024 11:07

Glad l lived in the days with my ex hubby when we didn't have mobile phones.. my gosh they do cause loads of trouble in relationships.
Buy another charger.
Then ask him ...what's so important he needs to keep ringing you.
You could have been on the loo.

Original poster
Darkretreat · 18/02/2024 11:19

I don’t know, I never initially thought it was to check up on me but now that it’s mentioned it possibly could be as when I’ve not answered it’s become an issue and the only time me not answering is excused is when I’m working as he knows I am.

Recently I’ve given him another chance as he wasn’t helping me, supporting me with chores, finances and I didn’t feel any love from him it all felt like it was convenient for him.

He said he would change and I saw some changes in our last place but since moving the last 2 weeks his gone back to how he was majority of the other time he is in the other room smoking on the balcony, his taken the bins down once or twice in the last 2 weeks, his only taken care of our toddler the one time I had a 2 hour long meeting at work and I had to tell him. He hasn’t cooked, he hasn’t cleaned, his been leaving lights on in the place knowing I pay the bills. He will be contributing £500 to our £975 rent and nothing towards bills as he works part time so I feel he has been inconsiderate. I believe he changed temporarily and his back to his old ways.

OP posts:
redastherose · 18/02/2024 11:21

Darkretreat · 18/02/2024 11:19

I don’t know, I never initially thought it was to check up on me but now that it’s mentioned it possibly could be as when I’ve not answered it’s become an issue and the only time me not answering is excused is when I’m working as he knows I am.

Recently I’ve given him another chance as he wasn’t helping me, supporting me with chores, finances and I didn’t feel any love from him it all felt like it was convenient for him.

He said he would change and I saw some changes in our last place but since moving the last 2 weeks his gone back to how he was majority of the other time he is in the other room smoking on the balcony, his taken the bins down once or twice in the last 2 weeks, his only taken care of our toddler the one time I had a 2 hour long meeting at work and I had to tell him. He hasn’t cooked, he hasn’t cleaned, his been leaving lights on in the place knowing I pay the bills. He will be contributing £500 to our £975 rent and nothing towards bills as he works part time so I feel he has been inconsiderate. I believe he changed temporarily and his back to his old ways.

Following your update I'd bin him off right now, he's a controlling lazy cocklodger and you'd be better off dumping him and getting child maintenance.

Original poster
Darkretreat · 18/02/2024 11:23

And currently in terms of finances, I am having to wait until I get paid at the end of this month. As due to the move I had to fork up £2000+ which he gave 600 towards as it was for the deposit/first months rent. Which left me in a bad position especially since I am still awaiting for the previous places deposit to be released so currently whatever I have it needs to be spent on the needs of my little one.

OP posts: