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Original poster

Mortgage joint now homeless urgent help

65 replies

Ems8765 · 17/02/2024 06:46

I split with my partner 10 months ago and had a joint mortgage which is still active. We have a 5 year old kid together who is life limited. I gave up work for 5 years to care for our sick son but ran up £13k debt because I wasn't working but reliant on his money and my carers allowance. My ex offered me £13 to get out the house as he knows I'm struggling. My name is still on the mortgage I took the money because I was desperate now I have no where to live. I can't see my son as he is in the house with his dad. I really don't know what to do :( I'm still paying the bills and half the mortgage. He has cushty life style and is well off can I walk back into the house ?

OP posts:
LIZS · 17/02/2024 11:12

BMW6 · 17/02/2024 08:14

Move back in and if he's abusive call the police.

This

Maray1967 · 17/02/2024 11:12

Go to on a police station now!!!

He is a danger to your son - don’t hesitate. Why didn’t you call the police when he was abusive and threatening? He can’t prevent you from living in your house.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 17/02/2024 11:14

Get advice from women's aid on the abuse, and if it is safe for you to do so move back in. If he wants you out, he'll need to buy you out properly.
I'm so sorry about your son.

MamaAlwaysknowsbest · 17/02/2024 11:15

you have been thrown out of a home you own. Make sure you go back and claim it or put it for sale etc

newhousenewhouse · 23/02/2024 08:08

How are you getting on now? Been thinking about you and hoping you were able to get help and support. @Ems8765

flapjackfairy · 23/02/2024 08:27

if he is abusive he should not be looking after a life limited child. I would get children's services involved as failure to accept medical diagnoses is considered to be neglect and not engaging wirh appropriate services is also neglect. So trying to remove from a special school etc. Y ou need to make a safeguarding referral to social services yourself. This could be a tragedy waiting to happen.

flapjackfairy · 23/02/2024 08:33

@CatchAButterfly
A child can be on palliative care for many years so.living at home with their family. It doesn't mean the child is in a hospice or anything like that necessarily it just means the child is not expected to have a normal lifespan and has complex needs so has access to the best consultants and care to support them and their family .

Tozin · 23/02/2024 08:48

If you have left the house then you don’t need to continue paying the mortgage.
(technically yes you do…but you don’t)

However if you are on the deeds of the house still. Do not remove your name from the deeds.

as others have said, speak to women’s aid

altmember · 23/02/2024 08:54

Nothing you've done is legally binding, he hasn't bought you out til the solicitors have done the change of title and the bank removes you from the mortgage. It's ludicrous that he claims he's bought you out but is still expecting you to pay half the mortgage and bills.

So just move back in and give him the 13k back. Actually move back in and hold on to the 13k, tell him you'll give it back to him when he moves out! If he won't go, you're going to have to put up with each other until the ownership is sorted out properly.

Grenola · 23/02/2024 09:07

Arrange an urgent meeting with the hospital palliative care nursing team, request safeguarding to be there and if pos someone from his school. Ask them to start a child protection assessment.

get back in that house, forget the detail of the money. Sounds like it’s just money to pay debts that u accrued while not working to care for his son.

get back in house, provide care for ur son, that is the most important thing here. The rest is details. Log the abuse with womens aid and police /!: then file for divorced,

what a horrible situation.
x

Opentooffers · 23/02/2024 09:26

Go and see your son and stay there this time, it's what you should of done the last time. If your ex gets nasty - expect he will - phone the police, have him arrested for DV, press charges and get an order to keep him away.
As you weren't married, you will probably need to buy him out or sell the property, but you will get a lot more than he offered in that case. ( you could try being a stubborn bastard and stay put until he legally forces a sale).
I get that your ex is a twat, but you left your sick DS with a man who you says neglects him in preference for your own safety, that's quite surprising for a mother to do. You could claim you were being out of your mind, however, you've managed to get and hold down a job since so it wouldn't appear so. The mind boggles, really don't get the choices you've made over the last 10 months, it's quite something if for real.

CatchAButterfly · 23/02/2024 10:29

flapjackfairy · 23/02/2024 08:33

@CatchAButterfly
A child can be on palliative care for many years so.living at home with their family. It doesn't mean the child is in a hospice or anything like that necessarily it just means the child is not expected to have a normal lifespan and has complex needs so has access to the best consultants and care to support them and their family .

Edited

Yes I know. Have you tagged me by mistake?

flapjackfairy · 23/02/2024 11:41

@CatchAButterfly
Yes sorry. Apologies

egowise · 23/02/2024 11:51

How are you? Have you managed to move home and see your son? This must be so difficult for you.

Original poster
Ems8765 · 25/02/2024 17:59

Not great to be honest he is now giving me an ultimatum. In short my son could have a longer life if he has a certain repair to his heart. Out country cannot do it. We went to boston usa last year and was told they could operate but would cost £245.000 that's just his heart repair. He was born with all.his organs in the wrong place so it's likely things would go wrong which will cost more. My ex is well off! And before he disagreed he should be repaired over there because of the cost.... he messaged me over the weekend saying if I agree to giving him the house he would look and pay for surgery abroad... digsuting. I've gone to a solicitor which will cost so much money which I do not have

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