Is it bad DH and I aren't that sociable?

[abblesandbears]

I don't mean we don't have friends, because we have a few good friends that we see a 3/4 times a year, but that's about it.
And we aren't that sociable in terms of our families either. We tend to enjoy the weekends spent just us and the kids.
We don't really enjoy family get togethers. And we usually try to limit seeing our siblings/nieces/nephews to birthdays/christmas.

Reading that back it sounds awful, but I guess we just don't really enjoy socialising with people that much! And then we end up feeling pressure from people to meet up when we're saying to each other "didn't we see them only 3 weeks ago!?"

Anyone else a bit like this?

Idk. My parents are sociable, and my sister and I are too. My mum in particular has lots of friends in different groups and they all give each other so much support when life is tough. I can see parallels in my own friendship groups, I have 2-3 groups plus a lot of individual friends that I can count on.

DHs parents are / were not, and since his mum went into a nursing home a couple of years ago his dad is just lost and is really relying on SIL to provide entertainment for him. They lived in each others pockets. MIL socialised with her sisters mostly.

I have two boys and have always encouraged them to be sociable. We spend lots of time as a family but family can’t and shouldn’t be everything. My oldest is super sociable, my youngest less so but has good friends. It’s important, I think, that they have friends and don’t turn to just DH and I for everything.

i have one friend who’s pretty antisocial. We do spend time together but I honestly think she would be happier just seeing her DH and DD and no one else ever! What a lot of pressure to put on them.

Btw DH and I rarely socialise together. The whole inviting people over, we don’t really do that. We go out together, we go out with friends, we do different things that we enjoy - then enjoy our time at home together.

I just think if I need friends in old age I will make some then.
Not worried.
Like my own company.
So many people have let me down I cba with most people.
Enjoy my own company too.
And enjoy the company of my oh. I'm not going to worry about what might happen in the future.

I think that if people are happy and their children are given opportunities to be different, then it’s fine.
We don’t always have to push/ extend ourselves.

OP I feel the same. I enjoy being home. But am conscious of asking if my children want to do more clubs/ sport/ play dates. When my kids are older I plan on more clubs and working more. Things change, as circumstances change.

Oh you haven't read the 'How to be a perfect person' handbook. In there it explains how you must must must endeavour to meet up at least twice weekly with family, regularly, preferably at the same time but you are allowed to vary the location as long as it suits them more than it does you.

Nah, I did all that crap years ago until I had epiphany and realised I was wasting time, precious time on people (in laws mainly) who didn't really care about me or our family. It's just 'what you do'.

Much happier now without the chaff taking up any time in our lives.

This!!! Thank you so much!! Love it.