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Original poster

Sending his ex a valentine card?

73 replies

Marbella7532 · 16/02/2024 00:08

I'm only guessing as I could see that he'd googled the address of the shop where she works.
I can't think of another reason why he'd do that.
Should I call the shop up or is that stupid?
I can't think of any other way to find proof he did this...

OP posts:
Original poster
Marbella7532 · 16/02/2024 13:18

boomingaround · 16/02/2024 13:03

I think you've probably lost the plot. He was probably just googling where she works out of idle curiosity. I went on my exes Instagram account the other day. And ended up trying to google his brothers work too. Literally idle curiosity there is nothing in it. This is why snooping is a terrible idea.

I hope you're right it's just too much of a coincidence that it was the first thing he did in arriving at the office ( rather than idly browsing) so it was intended. And as he only goes in one a week it would have been his only opportunity to send something without me being there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Marbella7532 · 16/02/2024 13:21

I just don't know how to play this out. He'll deny it point blank.
I don't have any evidence other than that but added to the timings it just doesn't sit right with me...

OP posts:
AuntieDolly · 16/02/2024 13:22

I'm probably being thick, but how do you know what he googles and at what time? Why are you stalking him to that extent?

Farwell · 16/02/2024 13:22

There's an awful lot of assumptions and stories you are making up here.

Why were you looking at his search history in the first place? If you don't trust him, why not?

DelurkingAJ · 16/02/2024 13:23

Maybe he was idly curious. I had a dream recently about a lad I had a crush on when I was 17 (and haven’t laid eyes on in 25 years). I googled his name (found nothing, too common a name) and deleted my search because I realised I was being ridiculous. If DH found out he’d laugh his head off at me. If I’d known where this chap worked I might have googled that to see if there was a recent photo…partially for the sake of shaking the picture in my dream of the beautiful 17 year old!!

Catapultaway · 16/02/2024 13:25

Marbella7532 · 16/02/2024 13:11

He will have posted via royal mail so unsure about how a survey would work. I thought I could call and ask if X got a valentine card but that just seems daft
I thank you for your support x

Show quote history

Why would he post a card on valentines day... its not going to arrive that day.

octoberfarm · 16/02/2024 13:25

I think I'm confused about how you've got from him googling the address of somewhere his ex (from over six years ago) works to him sending her a Valentine's Day card. Do you know for sure she still works there, or that he bought a second card? Or has he given you any other reason to think he' still interested in her? Honestly there could be so many reasonable explanations that I'm surprised if the relationship is otherwise strong and happy, that this is what you're going straight to, but maybe there are other red flags?

With kindness, it is so hard not to really worry about things on little to no sleep. Hope you manage to catch up a little on sleep today and that you find the answers you're looking for Flowers

FriendlyNeighbourhoodAccountant · 16/02/2024 13:26

You seem to be focusing on the fact it's a card, and so the receipt might be in his bag but it's possible he's sent flowers from a florist or something and therefore you wouldn't find anything, or a card from moonpig.

No advice really.. how do you know what he's been googling?

Could be idle curiosity, could be cheating. It's a tough one.

Lavender14 · 16/02/2024 13:28

I think there's a lot of assumptions being made here as well op. Obviously I do think you should trust your gut. But I am questioning why finding a Google search of her workplace is causing such a strong response. Has he ever given you cause to doubt him in the past? Have you any other reason to be suspicious of him being in communication with her? What's the nature of his relationship with her at the moment, are they friends and you know he's in touch with her or is this out of the blue?

Personally I'd ask him casually. His reaction will tell you more than anyone in here can.

Moier · 16/02/2024 13:30

What kind of shop does she work in? Maybe he bought something for you? Asked her advice?
Got a discount?.

WhoaJayShettybambalam · 16/02/2024 13:33

I don’t understand why your first thought would be that he sent her a valentines card if everything else is fine in your relationship?

Fannyfiggs · 16/02/2024 13:35

How do you know he googled the address of the shop, are you snooping on him? I ask with no judgement as I've done it myself.

However if you are keeping tabs on him, do you have reason to? And if so, then that's a whole different story.

Honeyroar · 16/02/2024 13:36

I think this is a strange conclusion to jump to and would be very hard to prove without making yourself look like a nutter (contacting the shop etc… noooo!). You’d be better putting this one to bed and just vaguely keeping an eye out for anything else suspicious. If not you’re just going to have to ask him.

Fannyfiggs · 16/02/2024 13:38

WhoaJayShettybambalam · 16/02/2024 13:33

I don’t understand why your first thought would be that he sent her a valentines card if everything else is fine in your relationship?

I think because he knows where the shop is so OP is thinking he's looking for the street number and postcode of the address. Why would you need that? To send mail or a delivery.

Maybe I just have the same suspicious mind as OP 😂

MustBeNapTime · 16/02/2024 13:38

You can't ring the shop and ask if X got a Velntine's Day card. They are hardly likely to answer that!

AmaryllisChorus · 16/02/2024 13:39

OP, that is a massive leap to make. He googled her work address so he must have sent her a valentine?
Why? Could be loads of reasons he googled her work address - idle curiosity. I google exes quite often, just out of nosiness. I have zero interest in getting back with any of them, just want to know what they are up to, but not enough to actually get in touch with them!

If you have problems, address them. But don't invent them and then react with distress as if the invention were real.

Original poster
Marbella7532 · 16/02/2024 13:40

AuntieDolly · 16/02/2024 13:22

I'm probably being thick, but how do you know what he googles and at what time? Why are you stalking him to that extent?

Just on Google chrome history it gives you times

OP posts:
Original poster
Marbella7532 · 16/02/2024 13:40

Catapultaway · 16/02/2024 13:25

Why would he post a card on valentines day... its not going to arrive that day.

Show quote history

No this was last Thursday...

OP posts:
OlderandwiserMaybe · 16/02/2024 13:41

Another one here wondering how you found out what he was Googling at work - and at what time too??

If you say everything else in the relationship is fine why on earth are you even looking at his browser history at work??

What kind of shop is it? Could there be a legitimate work reason for him looking up the shop? how do you know it was the address he searched for and maybe he wanted to know their opening ours. After 6 years perhaps the Ex doesn't work there anymore??

I'm sorry you've had a bad night @Marbella7532 but i'm struggling how to understand how you leapt to him sending his ex a valentine card??

Cuppachuchu · 16/02/2024 13:42

Did he give you a card or gift?
Could he just be doing a nice thing and sending an anonymous card to her?

Original poster
Marbella7532 · 16/02/2024 13:43

octoberfarm · 16/02/2024 13:25

I think I'm confused about how you've got from him googling the address of somewhere his ex (from over six years ago) works to him sending her a Valentine's Day card. Do you know for sure she still works there, or that he bought a second card? Or has he given you any other reason to think he' still interested in her? Honestly there could be so many reasonable explanations that I'm surprised if the relationship is otherwise strong and happy, that this is what you're going straight to, but maybe there are other red flags?

With kindness, it is so hard not to really worry about things on little to no sleep. Hope you manage to catch up a little on sleep today and that you find the answers you're looking for Flowers

Well pretty sure she does, I read on an email last year that he told his friend he'd called in to "see if he still fancies her" apparently it was her day off, now I don't know if he's tried going back since or not hence my thoughts...

OP posts:
Original poster
Marbella7532 · 16/02/2024 13:44

Cuppachuchu · 16/02/2024 13:42

Did he give you a card or gift?
Could he just be doing a nice thing and sending an anonymous card to her?

Yes he did get me a card and gift but tbh I don't think it's a very nice thing to do.

OP posts:
OlderandwiserMaybe · 16/02/2024 13:45

So even last year you were looking though is emails?
I read on an email last year that he told his friend

I think we need to understand why you don't trust this guy??! Why were you in a position to check his browser history at work?? What drove you to look even??

Original poster
Marbella7532 · 16/02/2024 13:46

OlderandwiserMaybe · 16/02/2024 13:41

Another one here wondering how you found out what he was Googling at work - and at what time too??

If you say everything else in the relationship is fine why on earth are you even looking at his browser history at work??

What kind of shop is it? Could there be a legitimate work reason for him looking up the shop? how do you know it was the address he searched for and maybe he wanted to know their opening ours. After 6 years perhaps the Ex doesn't work there anymore??

I'm sorry you've had a bad night @Marbella7532 but i'm struggling how to understand how you leapt to him sending his ex a valentine card??

Ok so he mostly WFH and goes into the office one day so he often leaves it behind and open.
There's absolutely no legitimate work reason at all.

OP posts:
OlderandwiserMaybe · 16/02/2024 13:49

So you obviously feel you need to check up on him. I think you need to ask yourself why that is.

If you don't trust him - there must be a reason for that. Either his behaviour or your own insecurities.

What you do next depends on your answer.
If his behaviour is whats led to you not trusting - you need to have it out with him. Possibly with a mind to ending the relationship.

If it's your own insecurities then perhaps you need some help examining those and building up some trust?

Personally I couldn't live with someone who's been checking my emails and browser history behind my back. But also I couldn't live with someone who I thought was being unfaithful either. Only you can work out what the truth is.