Hope this isn't too long. I need to set the context. I also wasn't sure where to post it. I guess it's about relationships of sorts. Definitely not AIBU. Sorry for the length.
I'm on a committee with four other people, two women in their 60s, the chair who is a man in his 60s and then another man my own age, and then me. My role is the comms person, which is the simplest and least involved part which works for me because of other commitments. I don't even do the social media, someone else does that. I send out newsletters quarterly and occasional bulletins. The over 60s don't work, I do and so does the guy my age. I have a very demanding full time role with extra committee work for that (four work related committees) on top of it and I also have another part time work commitment on top of all of that, so this small element of committee work suits me. We have committee meetings every 6 weeks or so and I host them at my place of work (to save the cost of hiring a venue). The three older people are very very involved with this. I am committed to it too but my time investment is less for practical reasons.
I send out a newsletter quarterly, it goes out via email and also to those who request it via snail mail. I produce them from articles submitted, the chairperson gets them printed and delivers them for me to put in envelopes (that I go out and buy, along with stamps) and create mailing labels and then go and find a letterbox to post them in.
The last newsletter went out the day I was due back from holiday. I sent it out using the mailing list (email list) and then realised the next day that I hadn't copied in the committee members, so they got a copy the next day. It's easy just to cc them in for next time, but I blame jet lag.
At the committee meeting yesterday one of the other members turned on me asking why I had done that, nobody knew it had gone out and said "I'm going to be rude here you are not very efficient." I'd just worked a 9 hour day without a break and gone straight to this meeting from 6.30 - 8pm after also getting some very bad news about a family member. The other woman joined in. The men just looked on.
The thing is she is probably right, I didn't do a brilliant job last time. I accept that. But that was not the forum to raise it in front of everyone as a personal attack. I had the wind taken out of me and I didn't even respond, just nodded. She does a great job on the committee herself, but I chose this role because of the time factor. I see this as bullying, and she was right, she was rude.
If I challenge her, either 1-1 or in the group, then I think the other members might gang up on me. I think the chair was remiss in not stepping in. I'm usually very good at standing up for myself but yesterday I was just exhausted. On top of all that, I was using public transport and there was a breakdown there, resulting in me getting home at midnight. That's not her fault but it added to the crapness of the day. If I don't say anything then I'm not setting boundaries.
WWYD?