Not confirming date plans - again!!

[Cardinalita90]

I've been seeing a guy for almost 5 months and mostly all good. However, he likes to be quite spontaneous and I'm a planner.

Last weekend I suggested a Sunday date to an event which started early. He agreed and when I text him on the Sat to suggest a logistics plan for getting there he never replied (pissed up in the pub). So I text him on the sunday morning to say I was making alternative plans. He apologised and we moved past it.

Due to see each other tomorrow, he was meant to be planning something as I've sorted the last few. I got a missed call from him earlier and text him back but no reply (he's in the pub again watching rugby).

I can see the same situation happening again tomorrow and its really annoying me. My free time is limited and it feels disrespectful that he thinks its OK.to leave me hanging around until he bothers to contact me. Would I.be unreasonable to make my own plans again tomorrow if I don't hear.from him? In case anyone's wondering why we keep doing Sundays its because he can't do Weds, Thurs, Fri or Saturdays !

I would bin him off TBH. It sounds like you're not compatible with each other and that you are an after thought to him.

He sounds like a waste of your time. I’d blow him off completely and find someone who prioritises spending time with you!

Not making much effort is he? And his main interests seem to be watching sports and getting pissed in the pub - so boring!

I would make my own plans for the rest of my life. Bye bye 👋

You aren't compatible

And I made it as far as "he's spontaneous and I'm a planner"

I'd be inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt and see what happens tomorrow if he mucks it up again then that's it

I'd throw this one back. If you only see him on a Sunday, I'd expect to be a priority, rather than an afterthought, for that day.

I'm not sure why him being in the pub means he can't even be bothered to text you back. You can do better.

After 5 months I’d expect to be a priority. This guy isn’t the one, don’t waste anymore time on him.

He's just not that into you.

Hmm sorry to say but I wouldn’t bother with him

So he can’t see you on Saturdays but he can go down the pub with his mates?

Hes either no into you or he just wants to keep it casual and can’t even make the minimum effort.

Hes not worth wasting another Sunday on - in the bin

Why can't he do those four days OP? If he's only ever free on a Sunday then it doesn't bode well for a future together.

Bin him immediately. I dated someone exactly like this for about 18 months. I had low self esteem-if it happened today it would never have gone past the first couple of let downs. That guy used watching rugby as an excuse once for having not got back to me about plans that night but got caught out in a lie as he later said "when was I ever watching Rugby?"! It won't ever end. His lack of availabilty suggests he might be married already. I used to spend ages puzzling over why he was so flaky and he'd turn up at my house randomly with flowers and say "sorry I'm a dickhead" but really he was just using me for sex. In the end he stood me up at a busy station late at night and I couldn't get through to him at all. Eventually he said he was doing chores!!!!! What the f! A grown man did that!!! Yet again he text me the next day to say sorry and I told him to seek help as he seemed sick in the head! I know to an outsider this might seem really weird but I really fancied him at the time and like I say had low self worth. I'm telling you all this as I'd hate for you to go through similar for no reason.

After 5 months I would expect to be more of a priority, not a 'maybe on Sunday if I feel like it' arrangement.

Even it changed into something more, wouldn't his need for spontaneity drive you crazy?

Are you sure he doesn't already have a girlfriend?

Being in the pub is no reason for not texting.

Also he's not free on Saturdays because... he has to go to the pub? Why can't he invite you to go with him?

He's clearly not that into you. I would just end it now.

he likes to be quite spontaneous and I'm a planner.

end of now, you will be fed up with his lack of planning and he will be bored by your lack of spontaneity

It's not all good. People who are flaky or unreliable are no-one I would put up with, and neither should you.

Make your own plans for this Sunday OP.
And every other Sunday.

Go and find someone who wants to see you so much that they save their whole weekend for you!

If you stop messaging him, would he message you?
💐

If you had a missed call from him, why didn't you ring him back rather than text? If you're in a noisy pub youre much more likely to hear a call rather than a text message.

Bin 🗑️ he only sees you on a Sunday when he's hungover and there's nothing better to do.
After 5 months he still doesn't prioritise you more than a casual Sunday date, even then can't plan that in advance! that's already too much time wasted on him.

Enjoy kissing his ass goodbye - he prob won't notice until 7pm, pissed realizing he's gotta go to work Monday - and getting on with your own life and maybe eventually someone who's into your plans

Do you wanted to be treated like this, ongoing? Because this is how he treats you. So, if you don't like it, don't stick around. Unless you want to change him?

I wouldn’t be wasting my time with someone who a) is so unavailable b) makes such little effort for me c) appears to put getting pissed in the pub with his mates as a priority. I would be making my own plans for tomorrow without him - and any future plans wouldn’t involve him either!

He's got to be married.

OP doesn't like the bloke not responding, but writes a post and can't be bothered to respond past the initial post 🤨