Not confirming date plans - again!!

[Cardinalita90]

I've been seeing a guy for almost 5 months and mostly all good. However, he likes to be quite spontaneous and I'm a planner.

Last weekend I suggested a Sunday date to an event which started early. He agreed and when I text him on the Sat to suggest a logistics plan for getting there he never replied (pissed up in the pub). So I text him on the sunday morning to say I was making alternative plans. He apologised and we moved past it.

Due to see each other tomorrow, he was meant to be planning something as I've sorted the last few. I got a missed call from him earlier and text him back but no reply (he's in the pub again watching rugby).

I can see the same situation happening again tomorrow and its really annoying me. My free time is limited and it feels disrespectful that he thinks its OK.to leave me hanging around until he bothers to contact me. Would I.be unreasonable to make my own plans again tomorrow if I don't hear.from him? In case anyone's wondering why we keep doing Sundays its because he can't do Weds, Thurs, Fri or Saturdays !

If he wanted to arrange something he would.

In the bin he goes!

Not necessarily, there's thousands of guys who spend 7 days a week in the pub, and will only give up a couple of those days of that for a woman.

You’re chasing him. This doesn’t work with men at all. It’s very unattractive. This one is clearly a next, in the bin with him. Going forward let them ask you for dates, and plan dates. They ask three days in advance or you’re busy. If they’re not in touch with date details you’ve made other plans. You do this from the word go and they soon learn to value you and your time. If they drop off they aren’t interested. If you’re too available they will just see you as an option and keep you hanging. Dating is tough. You have to be tougher. Firm boundaries and high expectations.

Has he explained why he can on date Sunday to Tuesday? That’s a pretty restrictive pattern for someone looking to date - definitely ruling out Fridays and Saturdays wouldn’t work for many people.

I totally get people have pre booked plans but this seems to just be down the pub rather than something g specific

Bin him, he won't change. I wasted time on a guy who saw me, Wednesday nights, Friday night when he was tired after a long week at work and just wanted to go home, and Sunday mornings for breakfast. Saturdays were for the boys/pub as was every other night during the week, I'd known him for 20 years so should have realised what he'd be like 🤦‍♀️

@2Old2Tango That's a busy old week he has there, what happens Mondays and Tuesdays?

Op I used to be as relaxed as he is, and myself and the more organised of my friends would clash. You’re both just very different people, nothing wrong with either way but I don’t think long term this will work for either of you (sorry)

Throw this one back.

He can't do Weds - Saturday's but can go to the pub. Okay.