Was driving between work appts today listening to Radio 2 and Jeremy Vine was on with a segment about King Charles' cancer diagnosis. Fair enough.
But he had some kind of woman posturing herself as an expert going on and on about how illness in the family can heal family rifts (vis a vis Harry)
Which I'm sure it does in many cases and I don't object to as a viewpoint.
But rather than acknowledge AT ANY POINT that sometimes estrangement is better than remaining in an abusive situation she kept going on and on "families are bound together FOREVER. You are better off accepting that people are flawed because FAMILIES LOVE EACH OTHER AND LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER."
I accept it's her viewpoint but it's really hurtful to hear someone shouting on the radio about how estrangement is just a rift that can be healed as love and support is there when you've been abused in your own family and removed yourself and your children from it to prevent further abuse.
Just wondered if anyone else heard her hectoring on and on and if it triggered them, too?
I've been estranged from my family for 7 years due to rampant sexual abuse in the family and because no way was I letting my kids be the next victims, so I have absolutely zero regrets.
I just hate this culture of minimising estrangement as a petty rift, feels like collusion with allowing abuse to go on in the name of 'family'.
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Really triggering segment on Radio 2 today on family estrangement, did anyone else hear it? Anyone affected by it.
estraaanged · 06/02/2024 21:50
Astridspuzzle · 06/02/2024 21:53
Didn't hear it but it sounds like she doesn't understand. I'm almost 8 years estranged from my family. It's very sad but I've lost them to mental ill health and a bad marriage.
OP 💐
NeverTrustAPoliceman · 07/02/2024 07:19
She sounds very uninformed. Might it have been better to change stations?
Bearpawk · 06/02/2024 23:13
Sali Hughes spoke about her family estrangement on the grief cast podcast very well.
I'd assume that woman must have been referring to a family rift that got out of hand rather than dangerous abuse. Sorry it was hard for you to listen to.
ParrotCatDog · 07/02/2024 07:59
I heard it. They said something along the lines of “most family fallouts where people don’t talk to each other for years is just petty snd stupid, people need to make up as family is important and life is too short “ i did think to myself, this is a throw away comment and not in majority of cases
EditedStrugglingtodomybest · 07/02/2024 09:05
They talk soooo much shit on the Jeremy Vine show, in general. I often have to change channels when it starts.
I'm sorry this upset you 💐
mindutopia · 07/02/2024 09:08
I think though that this person was spouting the same narrative that a lot of people spout when they talk about family estrangement. I didn't hear the segment, but it's very typical for people to do the 'oh, but you only get one mum!' or 'you only get one dad!' and shouldn't you forgive and make it all better.
I am NC with my mum (my dad is long dead), because she facilitated a convicted paedophile having access to my children. I've gotten a lot of 'but she's your mum! you only get one mum!' or best one yet 'But Jesus would forgive her!' (I'm Jewish 😂). No one ever talks about the people who did horrible things and caused the rift repairing them. Or the wellbeing of the people who were impacted by that and how much better it is for them being estranged. I, for one, am so much happier and my mental health is so much better now. 'Family estrangement' can actually be a really empowering choice. I wish there was more discussion of that.
estraaanged · 07/02/2024 10:02
I just think it would be so odd if a 'relationship expert' came onto the BBC and said:
"In the vast majority of cases marriages just break down because of a rift and if people could just grow up a bit and put the past behind them they would be able to get past it. Because at the end of the day as marriage bounds you forever and your spouse LOVES you and WILL CARE FOR YOU."
It's quite blatantly not true of all marriages and it's quite blatantly not true of all families.
Yet divorce is very widely accepted, but somehow family estrangement is just people being silly.
Stupid, ignorant, abuse-enabling fuckwit, whoever she was.
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