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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

If your ex did this to you wwyd?

41 replies

Onehouratatime · 06/02/2024 21:06

Hi guys.
Background :- if you broke up with your ex after he broke your boundaries multiple times with another female friend, then blocked you pretty instantly for 4 months then popped back up after he saw a pic of you on a night out looking fab and you agreed to fix the relationship and essentially back together but take it slow - during the discussion about getting back together you point blank ask your ex If they have slept with anyone else they say no absolutely not they have been broken and heartbroken since the split however 2 weeks into "fixing" the relationship your ex's ex calls you to say they had been sleeping together the whole time you had been split up (and possibly before the split) you confront your ex/dp and his response is "oh shit"

He then apologises for lying and going back to his ex and then in the next breathe says its irrelevant anyway you wernt together. The ex of your ex tells you he's been begging to get her back saying your a mistake and your crazy and abusive (all not true, infact the ex has told the same story about his ex to you that he told her about you).

What would you do in this situation?
Just interested and guess I'm 2nd guessing myself. Be honest

OP posts:
Zoomerang · 06/02/2024 21:08

Tell him he’s a toe rag and never see him again.

rainbowlou · 06/02/2024 21:09

I’d run a mile and block his number

Andthereyougo · 06/02/2024 21:10

I’d tell him to piss off, get an sti check and get on with my life.

ExtraOnions · 06/02/2024 21:10

I would decide I was worth more than to be embroiled in this shit-show

Missingmyusername · 06/02/2024 21:13

I wouldn’t have gone back the first time.
If for some strange reason I had gone back for round two I would not be entertaining round 3!

Block, delete, move on!

Aquamarine1029 · 06/02/2024 21:13

Honestly, I think you'd have to be the stupidest person alive to be with this fuckwit. If you haven't learned by now what an absolute loser he is, you never will.

SamW98 · 06/02/2024 21:15

Well I would have blocked him after he broke my boundaries and I wouldn’t have agreed to get back with him and try again.

So now I would absolutely block him, stop communicating with his ex and move on with my life away from this toxic shit show.

Is there really anyone who won’t give you this answer?

Mitherations · 06/02/2024 21:17

I would get an STI screening, tell him to fuck off, and mean it.

Opentooffers · 06/02/2024 21:17

I'd text his ex one last time to say she's welcome to him. Then block the ex.

SpringleDingle · 06/02/2024 21:22

I’d never have got back with him in the first place. In your shoes now I’d definitely dump, block and delete his number!

DaisyDaffodil · 06/02/2024 21:25

Zoomerang · 06/02/2024 21:08

Tell him he’s a toe rag and never see him again.

I couldn’t be this polite. Jeez you’ve taken me back, my mum used to use the phrase toe rag and I haven’t heard it in years.

Block and delete this man from your life OP.

Gcsunnyside23 · 06/02/2024 21:41

I would ditch and block him

Michellebops · 06/02/2024 21:56

Block and move on.

Do you honestly need this drama in your life!

Let him and his ex have the drama to themselves, you're worth so much more 🩷

Tinkerbyebye · 06/02/2024 22:03

Leave him to his ex. Sounds like they deserve each other

hes lied end of discussion for me

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 06/02/2024 22:03

I would block, delete, get an STI check and find a way to work on my self esteem as I'd wonder why I thought that was the kind of man I deserved in the first place.
Give yourself more credit OP, you deserve better.

mummymeister · 06/02/2024 22:09

How many more times does he have to cheat and lie before you realise that this is your life for the next 40, 50 or whatever years? Do you enjoy the drama? I guess until he actually has sex with someone in front of your eyes you are just going to keep having him back. and then in a few years time, wake up to how much of your life you have wasted on this total loser.

Healthyhappymama · 06/02/2024 22:14

I honestly wouldn't put up with this behaviour at all. He doesn't care about you at all and lying to both of you!

determinedtomakethiswork · 06/02/2024 22:54

What I would want to do is put a rocket up his arse and throw him naked off a high building.

What I would actually do is give myself a bloody good talking to about how stupid I was to take him back in the first place. I would block him and never speak to him again

Onehouratatime · 06/02/2024 23:02

Phew. So I'm not left winging...don't know why I doubted myself guys...probably years of abusive mind controlling relationships before the ex...thanks for your comments they made me smile...

I've already blocked him on most things and then this weekend (early hours Sunday morning most definitely drunk) I got an email from him so I'm working out how to block his emails now...mind you he probs only emailed me because he was drunk anyway and won't do it again but to be sure Ill block his email anyway.

Thank you for all your support guys as ever... xx

OP posts:
ThereIbledit · 06/02/2024 23:03

I would stay well away from him and get myself some therapy to work out what the heck I was doing and how to not do it again.

SilverDrawer · 06/02/2024 23:04

Block, delete, move on

altmember · 07/02/2024 00:55

I'd never have got in that situation because I wouldn't have taken them back. However, who they hooked up with while you weren't together isn't really any of your business and it certainly isn't cheating on you. I presume he lied about it because he knew you'd react badly, but you should never have been questioning him about his sexual past if you weren't going to like the honest answer.

Fraaahnces · 07/02/2024 01:15

Tell him you’re not as stupid as he thinks you are and put him in the bin

RantyAnty · 07/02/2024 01:27

Onehouratatime · 06/02/2024 23:02

Phew. So I'm not left winging...don't know why I doubted myself guys...probably years of abusive mind controlling relationships before the ex...thanks for your comments they made me smile...

I've already blocked him on most things and then this weekend (early hours Sunday morning most definitely drunk) I got an email from him so I'm working out how to block his emails now...mind you he probs only emailed me because he was drunk anyway and won't do it again but to be sure Ill block his email anyway.

Thank you for all your support guys as ever... xx

Ffs don't reply to him.

Block his emails. Block him everywhere.

Justfinking · 07/02/2024 01:45

Have no idea why you took him back in the first place, get higher standards ffs