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Relationships

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Original poster

Did your Ex Husband go on to have more children

36 replies

pallymo · 04/02/2024 07:00

I have recently separated from DH, together for 16 years and we are both 33. 3 children together.

I'm just wondering a few things really. How likely is it that he will meet some one and go on to have more children, he says he definitely doesn't want anymore I mean he can't even cope with our ones but I'm curious. Especially given his age and if he meets a women of similar then she may want children or more.

Also I find it a weird concept about meeting someone else in the future because I was with DH for so long it feels strange, I can't explain it but also slightly exciting. My focus at the moment is for the children so that's my priority always. I've no intentions of getting into any relationships. I do not want anymore children though.

OP posts:

Chasingsquirrels · 04/02/2024 07:03

Together from 19 - 35.
2 children, he didn't want a second.

No, he didn't have more children. He has got a step child in the same year group as our eldest.

Vettrianofan · 04/02/2024 07:07

Judging by my neighbour, it appears that they are both in their 30s. He has children with a partner, so his own three with my neighbour, and more with a new partner. They can't have been separated that long!

LittleMissCantBeArsed · 04/02/2024 07:11

My first H had the snip after our 2 kids and new wife didn't want any so he won't have more. Second H already had 2 kids before we had 1 together. He's not likely to get into a relationship again any time soon and doubt he'd have more.

ShippingNews · 04/02/2024 07:12

Together 28 years, two children , he hooked up again within weeks . No biological kids but they did adopt her three little nieces after their parents were killed. So he is 60 with three children in primary school. You never know how life is going to turn out.

Toomanysquishmallows · 04/02/2024 07:14

Ex and I split when dd 1 was 3 months old because he had an affair, he said he didn’t want children. 18 months later , he is having another child with ow ! He has no contact with dd1

canisestinvia · 04/02/2024 07:17

Mine had one on the way with the next one when he left me. He had another one with her and now he has one due any minute with his next one. I wish he'd stop.

Ilovelurchers · 04/02/2024 07:43

I've had 5 LTRs with men of 2 years or more where we have lived together:

A) - 2 years, no kids together, no idea if he had kids in future.
B) about 6 years together - no kids together - he went on to have two kids with his next partner.
C) about 10 years together - one child - he hasn't had any since but had three step children.
d) 2 years together, he already had 4 adult sons, had had snip so no kids with me.
E) 4 years together and counting, he doesn't have any kids (that we know of - he had a wild youth so it would never surprise me if one suddenly emerged - I am not saying that lightheartedly like it would be funny!) We had one miscarriage and I very much doubt we could get pregnant now due to my age but I would keep the pregnancy if we did.

So it's just impossible to generalise - you never know how life will work out!

My advice would be to preserve a positive relationship with him if you can - as your kids' dad he is always going to be in your life in one way or another! My good relationship with partner c with whom I have my daughter is really valuable to me, and I have always gone to great lengths to preserve it. It's the kids who suffer most of their parents can't get on. (not always the mom's fault by any means obviously - I'm not saying anyone has to be nice to an abusive cunt. But if he's just a cheat or a bit lazy or moody or whatever, I would say try and work on a loose friendship with him for your kids' sake .....)

SamW98 · 04/02/2024 08:47

No - he was 49 when we split and as far as I know has only had 1 relationship since with someone his own age.

FatLarrysBanned · 04/02/2024 09:13

No, he was 42 when we divorced after 16 years together. We had 1 DD together and both agreed that neither of us would have any more kids when we split. 8 years on we're both happily in LTR and neither of us have had more children.

DD remains our priority. She has SN so maybe this has influenced both of us, but if my DP had said he wanted more kids (he has 3 already) it would have been a firm no from me and I expect ExH would be the same with his current DP.

Toomanysquishmallows · 04/02/2024 09:39

@Ilovelurchers , sadly in my case , and other families I know , the ex partner is t part of our lives . It seems a lot of men just opt out of family life .

StonwEd · 04/02/2024 09:52

i was 28 with 3 children when we split. Him being such a prick and awful with the kids, so stressed out he was shouting at us all, all of the time. Told me no one would ever have me etc etc. he was 35. He met a woman who had a child the same age as our youngest (2) and then went on to have 2 more. He’s 51 now with two primary school aged kids whereas our youngest is going to uni later this year! He was surprised I didn’t have more kids?! I was very surprised that he did… we get on fine these days, we’ve got a grandchild as well and I just chuckle about how much parenting he still has to do.. not that I don’t always parents mine but it’s very different when they’re really fab fully functioning adults 😅

Workawayxx · 04/02/2024 09:58

Had one dc with ex, he hasn’t (and now I presume won’t as his gf is mid 40s). I’ve had another child.

In my experience from online dating, men with 2+ Dc in their 30s + generally didn’t want more children.

Left · 04/02/2024 10:28

It’s only natural to think of these things and wonder what the future holds, but it’s also impossible to predict if what he feels now will be the same in two, five, ten or even in twenty years.

Hope you’re okay after the recent split and have lots of support irl.

caringcarer · 04/02/2024 10:57

No he didn't. We were married 21 years and have 3 now adult DC together. He had a vasectomy when we were still together as we decided our family was complete. He's not a great father to the DC we have and only our youngest DS has a reasonable relationship with him. DD and elder DS see him once a year at most.

Nat6999 · 04/02/2024 11:24

My ex was 49 when we split, he hasn't had a relationship since we split coming up to 14 years ago. My late dp had 2 children, one born not long after we got together, it was his dp's decision to end the relationship even though she was pregnant. I got pregnant when we had been together about 3 months, not planned, but sadly I miscarried our dd at 16 weeks.

Notevenslightlydamp · 04/02/2024 11:31

Neither of us had any more DC, we divorced over a decade ago when both of us were in our 30s. He is a crap dad so a good choice for him. I chose not to date post divorce, xh was messing DD around terribly and she was v upset, so needed one stable parent, plus not a chance I wanted more DC or to date someone with DC.

Inaspot21 · 04/02/2024 11:35

My ex h and I split when I was 33. Our two kids together are now adult in their twenties, I’m now 44 and exh has a 4 year old with wife no.2. I got into a long term relationship 2 years after we divorced with someone who had a child but quite a bit younger than mine (age 6 at the time). So my kids ended up with both a step sibling and a half sibling! It was a bit strange to think my two had a blood relative that was nothing to do with me but here we are. Personally I could think of nothing worse than starting all the baby stuff again so that wasn’t for me!

Icedlatteplease · 04/02/2024 12:00

We Split late 20s after 10 years together, two at the time very young kids and a vasectomy.

First thing he did whilst i was struggling to afford food for the kids was get a vasectomy reversal

There are definitely 2-3 kids with the next wife, (DC knew the first two, we think the wife was pregnant when they stopped going), possibly one kid about 8 months younger than DS (i had the potential birth date after CSA accidentally revealed as a child birth date relating to exH thinking it was my son) and one we suspect may exist concurrently with second wife . There's a new (younger) girlfriend now (DD sometimes does social media stalking and he suddenly tries to make contact with me when theres trouble with the wife)so there will I expect be more to come.

He has nothing to do with my two after he finally got caught being physically abusive 7 years post divorce. DC have nothing to do with the half siblings they know exist nor the ones we only suspect.

Helabel1 · 04/02/2024 12:17

Split with my ex 5 years ago after he had an affair, we have 2 children together. When we split the other woman was already pregnant, he has also taken on her 2 children and is quite involved. In saying that, shortly after we split she moved back to Poland so ex spends 2 weeks here for work and sees our kids for a few days and the other 2 weeks in Poland.

roarrfeckingroar · 04/02/2024 12:20

We have two and I would've liked a third but XP was adamant he wants no more. He absolutely loves and adores our second but we no point did he want a second. It's still early days of our split and I'm not ready to date, but wouldn't rule out a third if I met someone amazing. I would be shocked if XP had another. We're both 35.

GenerousGardener · 04/02/2024 12:25

Yes, he went on to have two more children with the new woman. They grew up to hate him as much as the DC I had with him.

Mylovelygreendress · 04/02/2024 12:31

My exh and I had 3 DC who he promptly dumped when next wife had 2 . Moved onto wife 3 and had another DC plus 2 SDC . All dumped for wife 4 who then dumped him .

Original poster

pallymo · 04/02/2024 12:39

Thank you all for taking the time to reply.

In regards to my stupid DH I think family life was getting on top of him even though I done the bulk of childcare and every night feed, he would go out partying a lot. I barely went out and he would cast every little thing up at me. I see now our relationship was emotionally abusive so when he cheated on me last year it was a blessing in disguise really and I asked him to leave.

I feel so free now I don't have to deal with his moods mostly and everything else negative that he brought to my life. I'm back to work next month and I can't wait to build my social network and new life without him dictating to me.

I ask about future children because I hope he does go on to have more and I want him to see that having children is difficult regardless of who you are with and that no other women would take his lack of support one bit. Even not he's being funny about giving me money towards the children and I'm being very reasonable about it all. I hope it all comes back like a big slap in the face really.

Like pp I will be free and living my life and hopefully he won't be. The relationship is over completely so it's not about wanting him back I just want him to feel guilty for how he's treated me if that's even possible.

OP posts:

BoohooWoohoo · 04/02/2024 12:40

Split with ex after an affair. This was one of the first questions that our kids asked when he told them disappointingly that she didn’t want to ever have kids.

Original poster

pallymo · 04/02/2024 12:40

Mylovelygreendress · 04/02/2024 12:31

My exh and I had 3 DC who he promptly dumped when next wife had 2 . Moved onto wife 3 and had another DC plus 2 SDC . All dumped for wife 4 who then dumped him .

How sad for his other children really thankfully they have you, My concern is my 8 year old she would not take another child well at all, that would be a problem.

OP posts:

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