Boyfriend is a dick.. to end it now or wait a few months?

[manyofyou]

Hello,

Looking for some thoughts. Basically, my boyfriend of 2 years has turned into a bit of a cunt. Sorry for the language - there really is no other word I can use to do it justice. He was a really lovely, caring and thoughtful man when we started dating an for the first year of the relationship, he changed jobs to a much less stressful one and started smoking weed all day everyday. He's done this for the last year. I hate what it's done to him - he's turned into a useless prick, if I'm being honest. He gaslights, talks down to me, pushes and shoves me and gets really really irritated over the tiniest of things. I'm on egg shells around him and I hate it. Currently in final year of a PhD - stress is immense. I know that I can't see myself spending my life with him - I will be miserable.

BUT.. the dilemma is, do I finish it now.. or wait a few months until my PhD is over? Not sure I can deal with any more stress right now (I still love him, of course and it would be a really hard thing for me to do). It's actually ridiculous at this point.

I'll be honest, I also cheated on him nd he has no idea. It's the only thing that makes me think 'hahhh, you have no idea, you prick!' when he is having a really horrible outburst. He's so arrogant and full of himself.

Thoughts please?

End it now. This needs to take no more headspace.

You two sound awful

Honestly why wait?

Depends on your living arrangements. But leaving will give you some peace to finish your PHD then do it now.

Oh Jesus, end it now, love.

There's no benefit to spending a few more months with a dickhead. Get rid and get on with life. Not sure why you posted (I still love him, of course and it would be a really hard thing for me to do) when you clearly don't. You despise him and are taking pleasure out of cheating on him behind his back.

Why wait? You don't want any more stress so do it now rather than having it hang over you.

wtf, why would you wait?

He is physically and emotionally abusive? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩the hills are that way➡️
short term stress of getting away sounds better than the long term worry of how much he could hurt you?

Surely stating with him is far more stressful than dumping his arse?

You don't love him. You love the old him, not the stoner him.

You cheated and feel no remorse. It's time to end it for good.

Leave now. Why would you wait? What a ridiculous question.

Bin. Now!

End it now, why prolong this at all further?. Its over anyway due to the abuse he metes out to you.

I still love him, of course

WTF? There is no 'of course' about it. He's an abusive twat who smokes weed. Why on earth do you think you love him?

This is your one life OP. You have no idea how long it will be. Don't waste another single day of it with this loser.

End it now. It doesn't even need to be a big stressy thing.

Oh bin him off.
Surely it will be easier to finish the write up etc in a peaceful, stress-free environment?
If he pushes and shoves you and is always angry, he’s dangerous. Leave now and do it in a sensible way when he’s out.
💐

This relationship sounds undefuckable.

Bin him.

If you're worried about your Ph.D. have a chat with your supervisor, who will have had the self same chat a million times, and they may be able to cut you a little slack or help with the practical stuff.

The rest of your life starts today op. He has already taken up too much of your headspace, and it sounds like you'll be a better person without him. Good luck x

Umm...considering he assaults you, I think you should probably go....like, yesterday.

What you're actually intending to stay and presumably, keep sleeping with, someone who treats you like shit and physically assaults you?
Thats madness!

Also, I wouldn't be to smug about cheating. Because it will come out and you'll look look the only bad guy.

Tbf he'll paint you that way anyway though so, meh.

Leave ASAP.

I don't think there is any dilemma here. He is abusive. Very abusive.

Bin him and take back control of your life. Why waste it with such an arsewipe?

Leave him. He pushes and shoves you when he thinks you've done nothing. What might he do if he finds out you've cheated? You understandably have contempt for him, and its really hard not to let that show, mix that with his moods and paranoia and its a bomb waiting to go off. You have no idea what the next few months with him are going to look like, it could be constant stress, it could kick off the night before am exam or presentation. Take control and leave him now while he still hasn't hurt you. .

I don't think you even still love him...you must know he doesn't love you.
Bin him off and complete your phd in peace.

Perhaps he does know you cheated and that's why he's changed.

He pushes and shoves you

LTB

So much easier to get rid of if you don't live together.