My ex girlfriend broke up with me while pregnant

[Misael]

I would like some advice I’m 22 my ex girlfriend is 20 we both dated for about 4 months until she got pregnant with my son he was born December 23 2023. Ever since she got pregnant she started to get distant from me we didn’t live together but before we were always together and loved eachother and inseparable but when she got pregnant everything changed and I love her so much I even gave her space for almost 7 months and she still feels the same. I believed it was the hormones but apparently not because she doesn’t want me anymore, I’ve tried talking to her but nothing seems to work and all she talks about is our son in a obsessed way and I can’t understand why this happened 🤧

You need to use condoms.

Four months isn't very long. There's a fair chance that you would have split up. Her getting pregnant hasn't really changed how she feels about you.

All you can do is pay for your child and play a useful part in his upbringing.

You barely knew each other when she got pregnant and she's clearly realised she doesn't want the relationship and wants to focus on the baby which is very sensible and mature of her. You need to accept the relationship is over and focus on being a good dad. Also learn from this and don't have anymore accidental babies.

Sounds like he'll be more than just useful! he'll be a loving Dad who'll share parenting responsibilities and be a solid support.

I'm sorry OP, but a 4 month relationship in your early 20s is not necessarily a sign of a relationship what will go the distance. It might well be that getting pregnant just solidified for her why she doesn't want to be with you.

You can't force someone to love you or be with you. So you need to stop trying. In the meantime, step up and be the best co-parent and dad you can. Are you spending lots of time with the baby, paying your fair share etc?

Not sure how you're getting that from the post?

OP, you barely knew her so you don't know her well enough to know if the hormones affected her. Lots of couples break up at the 4 month mark.

It's also very normal for new mothers to talk about their babies in an obsessed way.

So sad for the new baby coming into the world. Just why people are not careful until they are ready I will never understand

You sound like a nice guy OP, I hope it works out. I have my thoughts possibilities why she split but you need to hear from her - ask her to be open and honest, no strings attached talk and see where it goes.

Not you OP but generally if young people have a baby ad or responsible for one, amny may not want to be with someone who is already paying for the up-keep of other children that are not looked after by them

At work, this about 30 yrs ago, a man begged for overtime 24/7 and often worked 6 days a week 8/12 hours and had nothing to show for it - turned out he had 4 children with different women and was busy paying maintenance - I have to say credit to him for working and keeping his end of the bragain

Gosh, I never knew that. Thanks for sharing, very helpful

WTF is with the tone

What??

Your tone. It's sarcastic. Isn't it?!

It's sad but I think you need to concentrate on your son and being a good dad now, if your ex doesn't want to give things another go then there's nothing much you can do, she knows her own mind.

You are being deliberately obtuse as my post is clear.

Hey mate, I was in a similar situation to you when I was young, my DP got pregnant when we'd only been going out a month.

We made it work and DD is now 16 and we're still together. However, the only reason the situation worked for us is sheer luck.

We happened to be a couple that would have likely worked out anyway. Had I had a baby with any of my prior girlfriends, it would have ended, probably even more horribly than it actually did.

The fact is, your ex girlfriend doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. You can't change that, and you shouldn't try to. Look at it from her point of view, she's just had this huge life changing experience (You have too, but not to the same extent). She needs to come to terms with that without also having to factor in a very new boyfriend.

Your focus now needs to be on your son, and being the best parent you can to him. Part of that is going to be forming a good co-parenting relationship with your ex. The best way to do that is by trying to form a successful and supportive friendship. Trying to push a relationship at this point is likely to drive her away, and will make co-parenting more difficult.

It came across as very sarcastic to me too.

I think she just wanted a baby and not a relationship with you, that's why she's not interested.

It's quite normal for new moms to be obsessed with their babies!

I will now I learned my lesson thank you

I thought so too

Im glad it worked out for you mate you are very very lucky and thanks for the response

Also what I don’t understand she also said I love you first and she would always be clingy around me and what I heard from her siblings and parents is that I was the first guy apparently that made her feel loved bc her past relationship was abusive and toxic, also her mom and sister want me to keep trying and be there for the baby as much as I can that what she sees I’m trying to be involved in the baby’s life but I was goin to do that regardless. And thanks for the response I appreciate the advice!

Something tells me to give up but at the same time her family want me to try and talk to her and be there for her and the baby and I just feel lost

Maybe she did feel she loved you in the moment but that's a year ago almost and she doesn't love you now. Whatever her family think about it, your relationship is over. Just be a good father.

I think people say they love each other a lot too easily op. Love grows. You will get over this. Give yourself time. And in the meantime just be there for your ex during this vulnerable time and the baby of course. She will need you to be supportive.