My ex girlfriend broke up with me while pregnant

[Misael]

I would like some advice I’m 22 my ex girlfriend is 20 we both dated for about 4 months until she got pregnant with my son he was born December 23 2023. Ever since she got pregnant she started to get distant from me we didn’t live together but before we were always together and loved eachother and inseparable but when she got pregnant everything changed and I love her so much I even gave her space for almost 7 months and she still feels the same. I believed it was the hormones but apparently not because she doesn’t want me anymore, I’ve tried talking to her but nothing seems to work and all she talks about is our son in a obsessed way and I can’t understand why this happened 🤧

Yes, you need to be there for her and the baby. That doesn't mean you will necessarily get back together.

But you don't seem interested in the baby.

Her family has no right to be telling you to keep trying for a relationship with her, she has made her mind up.

But of course you need to be there for your baby.

I assume you are already paying child maintenance and are there for the baby as much as you can be?

She's got a 6-8 week old baby. What else do you think she should be talking about?

Maybe how we can fix the situation that way our son doesn’t have to grow up in a broken relationship?

She probably feels the same honestly but I feel like I’m doing my best I’ve already spent over 800$ his first month on formula and pampers and clothes, car seat, and few other things she need for the baby but for some reason I don’t feel like a dad at all since she doesn’t let me see him often and she also didn’t put my last name on the baby which I found quite disrespectful. I wish I could change his pampers and give him showers and just do dad things but she doesn’t want me around much and I don’t understand bc I’ve never done anything that would make her dislike me so much

Type who you’re replying to, your replies don’t make sense. You haven’t said a word about your parenting or how you strive to raise/house/fund your kid? Do not impregnate anyone without extensive planning and after years of dating or marriage. There was no relationship to ‘break’, it was just a woman you’d been briefly dating. Do better.

Of course the child should get the surname of the primary carer. Set your ego to the side, frs.

I’ve replied to everyone’s message I don’t know how they pop up on y’all’s screen though but I do click reply

Good lord, man, it’s not “disrespectful” to give the baby her own surname, it’s the sensible thing to do.

You dated very briefly. She’s not going to give her baby your name, that would be daft.

You can’t spend much time with the baby because he’s a newborn. It will get easier when he’s not reliant on his mum 24/7.

What's with all these threads lately from young (American?) guys?

Back off on talking about getting back together with her and just focus on building the relationship with your son. She won't want you around if you keep putting pressure on her and right now your son is too young to be away from his primary carer.

Click the three dots and quote

Your son is better off with separate parents than with parents who are unhappy.

You are heading towards stalker territory now - she doesn't want a relationship with you, accept that.

Meanwhile, build the relationship with your DS. He's too young to be away from his mum much, especially if he's breastfeeding. So ask and agree to set, regular times you can visit to be with him. Aim for at least a couple of hours a few times a week. STICK TO THOSE TIMES. As that develops, while you're there you can do the nappy changes, the bath times, the nap times etc.

You need to change your attitude. A mother of a newborn should quite rightly be 'obsessed' with their 5 week old baby. She is the primary care giver to a very very tiny human. He isn't a doll you can pass about so others can experience changing a nappy or 'shower' him. Not quite sure you know much about babies at all considering you used to word shower anyway, babies don't have showers.
She doesn't want to be your girlfriend. You need to accept that and step up as a father instead. Do some research about what having a baby/child is all about. It's not about you anymore. It's about the new human you've created.
It's not disrespectful for an unmarried mother not to give their baby the father's name. He is not your property to be labeled.

Her family probably want her to move out and think a relationship with you is the quickest way to achieve that.

Get yourself clued up on the baby's needs. I don't know how things work in the US but are there regular health visitor appointments that you could attend with her?

The relationship never really got off the ground though, it's not that it's broken, you just weren't suited and didn't last past the first hurdle.

You're trying to force something that didn't work in the first place.

@Misael how do you know the child is yours?

Why would he query paternity? He chose to impregnate his teenage girlfriend. His focus should now be on striving to educate himself on child development, parenting, raising his kid, co-parenting.

It’s disrespectful for the baby to not be given your name? Is that right? Is it disrespectful to mothers when the child is given the fathers name, and if not, why not? Before you jump to tradition as an excuse, you’re wrong, it is NOT tradition for a baby to be given the fathers last name when not married. Maybe your ex was put off by your sexism.