How did you feel when your ex spouse remarried?

[piscofrisco]

Just that really. Dh's ex wife got engaged over the weekend. She is very high conflict and her partner even more so. So dh (and I) are now resigned to the fact that we are going to be stuck with him forever with things over the DSS's which is not an enticing thought. Dh says that's the long and short of it but I think it's natural to feel-something-when your ex gets engaged again.
When my exh gets engaged I think I will find it tricky (first because the woman he is with was my former best friend and then the OW which I still do find hard when I think about it-less often these days) but also just-it's a bit sad in a way to think of your own wedding and the hope you went into it with and I don't know-it just sort of reconfirms what a waste of time money and energy it all was. I have no feelings for ex h at all-and realistically it won't make any odds day to day. I just think it will be a bit of an odd feeling. Can anyone relate?

I should say that he exhibited lots of the hostile and negative behaviours he tried in our marriage when I got married and again when I had a baby. I think the way he was wired he had told himself I was useless and no-one would want me as a way of absolving himself of his behaviour. As a consequence I don't think he had processed and grieved innthe way i had. Then, when I moved on in dfferent ways he didn't have the emotional tools to cope with it.

I felt sorry for the new wife.

I was right to, he cheated on her and left.

I felt sorry for her because I know she's taking the possessive, controlling, abusive, coercive shit I used to have to.

My ex married the OW, then she cheated on him and he killed himself because of it. She's now married the affair partner and lives in Bali. It stung when my ex married her, and I was of course upset when I found out he'd passed. It's a strange feeling when you've fully moved on from the ex, him remarrying made me realise I'd made the right decision to leave and had no regrets.