How did you feel when your ex spouse remarried?

[piscofrisco]

Just that really. Dh's ex wife got engaged over the weekend. She is very high conflict and her partner even more so. So dh (and I) are now resigned to the fact that we are going to be stuck with him forever with things over the DSS's which is not an enticing thought. Dh says that's the long and short of it but I think it's natural to feel-something-when your ex gets engaged again.
When my exh gets engaged I think I will find it tricky (first because the woman he is with was my former best friend and then the OW which I still do find hard when I think about it-less often these days) but also just-it's a bit sad in a way to think of your own wedding and the hope you went into it with and I don't know-it just sort of reconfirms what a waste of time money and energy it all was. I have no feelings for ex h at all-and realistically it won't make any odds day to day. I just think it will be a bit of an odd feeling. Can anyone relate?

I'm afraid that some men (such as my ex) have enough energy to keep spewing vitriol towards their ex while embarking on a new relationship

he's an ex! none of my business that he re-married! my only concern was how she would be with my children. To be fair me and my ex ended up being very good friends, i was even invited to his wedding (i politely declined).

Very sorry for the new wife.

I didn't really feel anything at all.

I messaged him the week beforehand wishing him genuine happiness, love and luck for the future which he thanked me for.

I also said rhat I knew I was being a bit cheeky but if he had any lovely photos of the children (daughter was a bridesmaid), would he mind sending me a photo at some point so I could see how beautiful she looked and that I'd really appreciate it.

He sent me one of them both at 7.30am the morning after the wedding. And she did look beautiful!

My partner has said fhat, if we ever married, his ex is likely to turn up! They've been divorced for 12 years but she stil regards him as 'hers' 🤷🏻‍♀️

Pretty much sums up my feelings. DH had an affair with her on and off for two years, I dragged my heels over the divorce and they finally married getting on for ten years after the affair came to light. So I hope it was worth it for both of them. My view has been for a long time that if they were together at least they weren't messing up the lives of two other innocent people who didn't deserve their shit.

Mine married a Thai women he found on the internet! Had a baby with her at the age of 54 when his 3 with me were all at or just left University! I feel sorry for her because he was a fat, bald ugly twat by the time he left. She is only 30!

That's a really lovely story. Is always really warming to hear of ex's who maintain a good relationship and can be civil and kind (especially when children are involved).

I was relieved! Less hassle for me as he has someone else to keep him entertained and less attention for me thankfully!

Mildly irritated that I had to give up my Saturday to go to a wedding I didn't care about but felt obliged to for DS.
Didn't much care other than that.

I completely agree OP. I expect my exH to marry/have kids with the OW he's settled now with. Mainly feel really sad for the hope and total investment I had in my marriage. I really believed forever meant forever and that he totally had my back.

To be completely honest I was relieved. I no longer loved her but respected her as the mother of my children. I always felt a sense of responsibility I suppose as my youngest daughter continued to live with her. I would still fix things and change the car battery etc. I sent her and her new husband a card on their wedding and wished them well. Her husbands been really kind to all of my daughters. Part of me feels sorry for him as Ive seen the same controlling behaviours she had when we were together.

My first thought was his will, tbh, and whether it would prioritise the (our) children if he were to drop dead. I’d be afraid he’d die intestate and the children would only get a minority share divided between them (not UK.) The children were upset and continue to have mixed feelings. Personally, I found it a relief that it was the OW and not someone else married, so they have made their relationship permanent despite its unsavoury start.

I was glad to be rid, she’s very welcome to him felt nothing but relief. I had a divorce night out to celebrate officially getting rid of him. Then with my youngest boys dad we get on very well he gets on with current partner it’s very amicable.

I was relieved - comforting to know that ex is now firmly someone else's problem!

Sorry for her because I know what he really thinks of women.

@LorlieS Well who does want to work 😂

My 4 year old told me 2 days ago that 'daddy's getting married '
I couldn't give a shit
I can't get my head round why anyone would want a raging alcoholic who has totally pissed his life away but that's not my problem anymore

He hasn't remarried but he has a long term partner. I feel like she is taking one for the team keeping him off the market.

Didn’t feel a thing. Maybe hope, hope that he would shift his focus from me to her, but no it seems to have made him even angrier and more vengeful.

She’s also a bit batshit so they’re well suited, but like @ScottChegg says she’s taking one for the team 😝

I was - weirdly - miffed not to get an invitation, although I knew it would've been ridiculous to invite me! I thought he'd landed on his feet with her, and I did ask his friends to let her know she could call me if there was anything she wanted to ask. She didn't call; the marriage seems to be very successful.

I really didn't feel much about it at all. I had strong feelings about the way he'd treated me, but those didn't translate into any emotions about his second wedding. If he'd been marrying my cheating ex-best-friend, though, @piscofrisco, I might have done!

In your case, the event was to celebrate a double betrayal of you. Most people would have a negative view on that! Luckily for the rest of us, it's nothing like as personal. I'd say your H's (lack of) reaction is normal.

My exh proposed to a woman he was in a LDR with but she turned him down. He's now in another LDR and again, marriage would help the woman in question get residency so they could live together. Don't know if he's asked and she's refused (it's been a while now) but the whole thing makes me feel mildly embarrassed by association. I'm now one of a series of foreign women he's been with.
I guess that if he does finally get married and they seem happy, I might feel a bit miffed that he must be putting more effort into it than he did with me.

I had zero feelings about it. It certainly didn't make me reminisce about my own wedding with him .

It's weird. You get married planning on that being it, but sometimes it isn't. The day my ex proposed to his current wife he actually came to me to make sure there was no chance we'd get back together. So if I'd said there was then he wouldn't have proposed to her, what a charmer, his poor wife. I don't miss the man at all, it was my decision to end it with him, but it still feels awkward for me. The unique parts to their wedding were a repeat of ours so the things he organised that i thought were special to our day was just nothing to do with me. I'm happily married, they're happily married, we're both much much better suited to our current spouses, but it's a bit sad for me that i had that experience with him. You can't go back in time.

Lots of water and time had passed under the bridge and I had already re-married. I congratulated them, bought a card and some champagne (as they had done for me) and like another OP had asked for some pics.
Inside i didnt feel much. It was almost like I was looking over all our lives and thinking how sad it was that 2 people who were so in love on their wedding day had changed and moved on so much. I personally didn't feel sad, but I guess a little wistful that that old couple just didn't exist anymore...

I inwardly chuckled, raised an eyebrow to myself, and thought "I hope it lasts"...

4 years later they're getting divorced.