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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Should alarm bells be ringing?

28 replies

PigmentLiner202 · 28/01/2024 19:42

My mum just messaged asking if DP has a new number as his name didn't come up in her phone when he messaged about DS the other day.

I assumed it was my mum as her phone is a bit weird at times eg. Seems to go straight to voicemail when I ring her.

She sent a screen shot of the messages and she's right it's a completely different number to the one I have.

A second phone wouldn't make sense as he wouldn't message her from a second phone. But is it possible to have two sims in one phone? That's the only way I could imagine someone getting mixed up and sending from the 'wrong' number.

I feel sick at the thought and really hope there's an explanation. I'd had such a great weekend with him and friends and now I feel all over the place!

OP posts:
Original poster
PigmentLiner202 · 28/01/2024 19:49

I've just looked up the type of phone he has and you can definitely have two different SIM cards. It says something about a physical SIM and an E-SIM.

I'm so confused and stressed, I don't feel confident to ask DP at the minute. My heads all over the place

OP posts:
Somatosensational · 28/01/2024 19:50

Have you googled the number?

Have you saved it as a contact on your phone and looked it up on WhatsApp?

Yankeescot · 28/01/2024 19:52

Is it possible it's a googlevoice number?

Original poster
PigmentLiner202 · 28/01/2024 19:52

No I haven't actually, would he be able to see if I added it to my what's app?

OP posts:
ArnieLinson · 28/01/2024 19:54

My dad says since i upgraded my phone number on whatapp is different. Nothing has changed at my end so i dont understand it at all.

Olika · 28/01/2024 19:58

Sorry but why can't you ask him?

Original poster
PigmentLiner202 · 28/01/2024 19:58

I just had another look at the screen shot and it says RCS chat, which I assume is SMS? My mum has an android and I have iPhone so I don't know RCS is

OP posts:
Original poster
PigmentLiner202 · 28/01/2024 19:59

@Olika just because it's so weird and out of the blue. It suggests he has a second number which I've never heard of anyone having other than for work or affairs! I'm hoping there's another explanation but I'm scared

OP posts:
HappiestSleeping · 28/01/2024 20:07

Many phones these days have the facility to have either two sim cards, or a virtual sim card.

I have worked in IT and there are a ton of legitimate explanations, none of which help you either way.

For what it's worth, my thoughts are this:-
If he is having an affair, the truth will out sooner or later and you could drive yourself nuts looking for evidence of something that may or may not be true. Secondly, if this is your first reaction to what might only be a technical glitch, then there are probably other reasons that are of more concern.

Why not just ask him why his messages came from a different number?

Original poster
PigmentLiner202 · 28/01/2024 20:12

@HappiestSleeping I'm a bit of a technophobe which could explain my reaction too as I don't know of any legitimate reasons to have a second number!

I've been cheated on in the past (previous boyfriend was messaging someone and deleting the messages) so although I've never suspected DP or worried about cheating this has set me off straight away

OP posts:
2Old2Tango · 28/01/2024 20:15

When you're not with him, dial the number (or get someone else to) but key 141 before you dial it. This will withhold your number so he doesn't know who called. See if he answers it.

Original poster
PigmentLiner202 · 28/01/2024 20:22

Ok potentially good news, I remembered a few months ago when he changed phone providers it took a few days for his new number to transfer. I've just looked through my text messages and the number is the same as that one!

I still don't understand why that number would come up again now but that's made me feel like it could end up being an innocent explanation

OP posts:
Original poster
PigmentLiner202 · 28/01/2024 20:22

Just checked and that number isn't on what's app which also is a good sign isn't it

OP posts:
HappiestSleeping · 28/01/2024 20:37

PigmentLiner202 · 28/01/2024 20:12

@HappiestSleeping I'm a bit of a technophobe which could explain my reaction too as I don't know of any legitimate reasons to have a second number!

I've been cheated on in the past (previous boyfriend was messaging someone and deleting the messages) so although I've never suspected DP or worried about cheating this has set me off straight away

I'm sorry about your past experiences, but judging your current partner by the actions of a previous one is a slippery slope.

Glad to see in your follow up posts that you are finding some rationality to it all.

princessrapunzel · 28/01/2024 20:57

My phone has done this before, it took ages to sort itself out. It kept randomly switching to my old number every now and again after taking a few days to transfer, so its a big possibility thats whats happened. I cant remember how long it took to completely stop doing it but it was a while and it was so annoying, people could text/phone either number and both would still come to my phone aswell. I hope this it all it is op

kingzion · 28/01/2024 20:59

My grandad had 2 numbers on the same sim. One for ringing and one for tech. He didn't want this but it's a tech issue so we just call one number and text the other. But if we text the calling number it'll go through to the text number.

Seems a bit far fetched to assume cheating based on that. It'll be more usual for cheating to have 2 phones, rather than faffing with 2 sims that can be easily lost

UpTheAnte · 28/01/2024 21:02

PigmentLiner202 · 28/01/2024 20:22

Ok potentially good news, I remembered a few months ago when he changed phone providers it took a few days for his new number to transfer. I've just looked through my text messages and the number is the same as that one!

I still don't understand why that number would come up again now but that's made me feel like it could end up being an innocent explanation

Exactly the same thing happened to me. Turned off RCS to stop confusing my poor Dad!

Greenchestnut · 28/01/2024 21:05

RCS messaging seems to be a default setting of Android phones. When I recently got a new handset it appeared to switch SMS to RCS. You can turn it off.

Oddly I have also seen on my auto fill settings another mobile number to my own and it seems it's the new sim's number whilst I have retained my old number and ported that across IYSWIM.

Dacadactyl · 28/01/2024 21:06

This happens often between me and my mum and me and my sister. My mum sometimes sends me a message from a numbers I recognise now as "mum's second number" and my sister sometimes gets messages from "my 2nd number". Neither myself or my mum have any idea why, because neither of us have 2 numbers to our knowledge.

Original poster
PigmentLiner202 · 28/01/2024 21:17

This has made me feel so much better, thank you for all of your replies! I clearly assumed the worst when there wasn't anything to worry about.

Going to speak to DP about it tonight!

OP posts:
HalloumiGeller · 28/01/2024 21:26

This is stupid, just ask him!

You're supposed to be in a relationship with this man, yet you are incapable of having a conversation with him it would seem....

Original poster
PigmentLiner202 · 28/01/2024 22:15

@HalloumiGeller have you just come here to be rude and patronising? I've explained why I had doubts and why I didn't want to immediately bring it up

OP posts:
HalloumiGeller · 28/01/2024 22:23

PigmentLiner202 · 28/01/2024 22:15

@HalloumiGeller have you just come here to be rude and patronising? I've explained why I had doubts and why I didn't want to immediately bring it up

So, you would rather come up with your own conclusions rather than just ask the question? Weird. It doesn't have to be accusatory at all. I'd simply say, "Hey babe, it's weird, but your number comes up as completely different when you called my mum today, I wonder why that happend". I can ask my OH anything, there isn't a conversation we can't have, as it should be.

tty · 28/01/2024 22:46

Has he had a new phone? I got a new phone and for some people the calls/texts showed a new number even though o2 supposedly transferred my previous number over it took a while to sort itself out

Bookworm20 · 29/01/2024 09:56

HalloumiGeller · 28/01/2024 22:23

So, you would rather come up with your own conclusions rather than just ask the question? Weird. It doesn't have to be accusatory at all. I'd simply say, "Hey babe, it's weird, but your number comes up as completely different when you called my mum today, I wonder why that happend". I can ask my OH anything, there isn't a conversation we can't have, as it should be.

Show quote history

Seeing a second number out of the blue would set off alarm bells for lots of people! And yeah, asking someone who may be having an affair about their second number always goes well, doesn't it.
OP, glad it sounds like just a glitch as others have experienced the same.
I'd of panicked the same as you and wanted to find out if anyone had an explanation for it before confronting.

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