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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Guy just took overdose [Content warning: mentions suicide]

35 replies

2024postivevibes · 27/01/2024 17:32

Hi I have previously asked for advice I ended it with a guy about a month ago after a 5 month relationship. I really liked him but I found out he had previously back habit with coke. I suspected he was still on it, we had not much in common. I ended it kindly. He drank him self stupid and threaten to kill him self.

My dad committed suicide he knew it's a massive trigger. My dad asked me to go for a walk I didn't and then he hung him self. I was 8. 37 now.

He said can we stay friends so I said I can but he kept saying my reasons for ending it were BS.

Today i asked him to leave me alone as friendship wasn't working. He sent me a picture a couple of hours later of a pile of tablets and said he had took 70. I rang my friend who knows him and police. I froze in fear. I rang him he said he was throwing up blood and I should come and look after him.

My friend went around and police there with ambulance. He is with his family now and went to hospital.

Please someone help I don't even want to see him ever again I'm so angry but I'm terrified he kills him self, I have been in a abusive relationship in past and took me long time to recover. I ended it because I could see red flags but look now what do I do. I'm shaking with worry and anger

Title edited by MNHQ

OP posts:
W0tnow · 27/01/2024 17:33

Ugh. Horrible, manipulative man. Block him. He’s in safe hands now. He’s not your responsibility.

And well done for ending it when you saw the red flags. 👏

MissusKay · 27/01/2024 17:34

You aren't responsible for his choices. He has family and friends to support him so you are not leaving him alone. Block him and take care of yourself. Please speak out some irl support. This is not your fault. 💐☕

Brenna24 · 27/01/2024 17:35

I am sorry about your dad. That was never 8 year old you's fault or responsibility.

You did exactly the right thing sending the police to sort it out. That keeps the boundaries up. Now block him on every platform that you can think. He did it to get you running, not to actually do it and it is a very abusive and manipulative thing to do.

I hope that you recover from the shock of this very soon.

RowanMayfair · 27/01/2024 17:35

Block him. If he can't get hold of you he can't use this as a way to manipulate you. Tell his friends they need to look out for him then literally block him everywhere and put him out of your head.

Hatty65 · 27/01/2024 17:36

Block him. He's incredibly manipulative. If he kills himself it's his choice and not your fault.

ShinyBandana · 27/01/2024 17:36

Oh I’m am so sorry to hear about your father OP

This guys actions are not yours to worry about or even get involved in. He’s got his friends and family. They can look after him. You are only responsible for yourself.

kiwiane · 27/01/2024 17:36

You were so right to end it and to be so angry - block him everywhere - don’t even ask after him. He’s manipulative as f••• Stop worrying if you can - he is not your responsibility.

FleaDog · 27/01/2024 17:37

As above - to send you the photo and say you should be there to look after him is chilling.

His care is in the hands of the best placed and relevant agencies and hus family. Absolutely not you.

Step away and block - even a communication to wish well and end things may be misconstrued as wanting to keep things going.

Hope someone is looking after you op, take care of yourself.

catagoryA · 27/01/2024 17:38

Block him on everything

ChanelNo19EDT · 27/01/2024 17:39

Horribly manipulative.

Let him know that the next Time he threatens that say "I'll ring 112"

Ponderingwindow · 27/01/2024 17:39

Block him. Normally blocking is childish, but blocking a toxic abuser is sound.

what he did just now is abuse. If he really wanted to kill himself, he wouldn’t have called you. This episode was about hurting you and making you feel guilty.

block him now. Right this minute.

if you have trouble not knowing what happened to him, work it out with a therapist, don’t contact him.

saltnvini · 27/01/2024 17:40

It's not your fault. Just stay well clear. Ignore and block messages.

Throwawayme · 27/01/2024 17:40

Agree with PPS. Block him on everything. He is trying to manipulate you. His choices are not your fault and his family can care for him.

Toddlerteaplease · 27/01/2024 17:43

Block him and do not go and see him.

Blueeyedmale · 27/01/2024 17:46

That's just so horrible what a disgusting and manipulative thing to do.this would trigger me to I was only 7 years old when my mum took overdoses and self harmed in front of us.

It's an absolute sickening thing to send you and hes clearly using suicidal threats as emotional blackmail.block him op just utterly vile

Caswallonthefox · 27/01/2024 17:47

He is in charge of himself. You did the right thing. Don't get involved with him again.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/01/2024 17:48

Even for HIS safety you shouldn't see him again. Manipulative pill taking is dangerous and he could actually hurt himself while trying to control you. He clearly can't be around you and you should block and delete on everything. 999 for everything. Whether that's police or ambulance depends.

AgnesX · 27/01/2024 17:50

First off, I'm so sorry about your dad.

You aren't responsible for this guy. What he did was his choice and his alone. Please don't beat yourself up and please now don't go anywhere near him or you'll be dragged into the mess that is his life. For your own sake move on.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/01/2024 17:52

Keep the anger and completely cut him off forever.

He deliberately did this to fuck with your head, hurt and terrify you, bringing back all your pain from the loss of your father - right down to the 'I'm throwing up blood, you have to come and look after me'.

He's an emotional terrorist. And we do not negotiate with terrorists.

GreigeO · 27/01/2024 17:56

If he really wanted to kill himself, he wouldn’t have called you. This episode was about hurting you and making you feel guilty

this with knobs on!!!

FrancisSeaton · 27/01/2024 17:58

Absolutely awful
Is there any proof he even took pills? If not I hope he gets arrested

PurpleBugz · 27/01/2024 18:03

You need to see this as abuse and control. He is trying to force you to get back with him. This is horrible horrible behaviour from him.

If he wanted to die he wouldn't have told you. I bet he only did it to trigger you I to getting back together. 5 fucking months you owe him nothing. If he does succeed you need to see that as the act of violence towards you it's intended to be.

I'm so angry on your behalf. Please don't let this upset you. Tell him you are blocking him then block him. Don't allow him to do this to you again xx

Original poster
2024postivevibes · 27/01/2024 18:04

He sent me pictures of empty packets when my friend went around he was throwing up and coughing up blood. He's in hospital now.

I've text that shout service via text they give me some bereavement from suicide support. I'm in a complete panic worrying he's going to start stalking me. What a mess

OP posts:
Original poster
2024postivevibes · 27/01/2024 18:10

He's sending me pictures of a drip in his arm. I'm crippled in fear if I block him summit bad will happen. 😔

OP posts:
Original poster
2024postivevibes · 27/01/2024 18:10

I've not read messages

OP posts: