Does this sound like he doesn’t want me to have a job?

[Becky332]

I told him beforehand that I had got offered a job for waitressing but I’ve said to him I need to wait until the youngest child is in nursery and I’m going to apply for some bar work as I’m experienced in it because of my past and will get a part time job during the day doing it . So I told him I may aswell do the evening as I’m with the girls all day everyday so may aswell really do the evening time , but I wouldn’t do it till silly o’clock in the morning . I’m normally up and don’t go to bed until 12 or 1am anyways and normally get up at 7:30am . He is a construction worker he has never been interested in this sort of work until I had brought it up . He’s talking differently also and keeps saying different things like well my job could run overtime so may not finish until 7/8pm he never ever finishes at 7/8pm it’s always 2/3pm and 4/5pm at the latest .

Who is he? Your husband? It sounds like he doesn't like the idea of you being out in the evenings. These texts read as if you need to communicate better - what is with all the LOLs and ???

It's a bit odd that the conversation happened over text, going back to work (or any big family change) should happen face to face. And getting upset about his reaction to a hypothetical job is unnecessary.

Sorry I didn’t mention he’s my partner who I have kids with and I put laughing faces because I didn’t think he was serious to be honest as it isn’t his thing . A few months ago also I wanted to train to be a flight attendant also and he had also said he wanted to aswell and he’s going to do the training aswell I just don’t get it and finding it strange now

I know of course . I’m just finding it very strange to be honest and put the reason down below in the reply ive wrote to someone . He got really jealous a few months ago also when i had told him i wanted to get back to doing bar work and kept saying to me all bar work is doing is flirting with people and meeting new guys etc .. how would you feel if I worked in a bar and it just went on and on

He sounds like a caveman, OP.

He doesn't want to look after his children, and he's disrupting anything that'll mean he has to.

@JimmiGeorge Is that you, OP's bloke?

Course it's controlling @JimmiGeorge and thanks for calling people cunts who have the intelligence to understand this.

Literally this

@JimmiGeorge darling you can't even spell territorial. Off you pop.

It sounds like he doesnt want to look after his children.

how much parenting / housework / cooking does he do?

Did a man really come on here to announce his manliness and declare men are shit?

What I thought too tbh . I had recently made a post before aswell how over the weekends he’d sleep in until gone 4pm or when he hasn’t got work next day leaving me to deal with kids but he could do a second job in the evening straight after work?

Your gramma should have tucked you in hours ago.

@ArnieLinson 🤣🤣🤣

Hahah so I’ve kicked him out a few months ago he’s now staying at a friends until he’s back from his long holiday abroad this was due to us arguing I couldn’t take it. He now stays over on the weekends or a day during the week when he hasn’t got work the next day and he’ll sleep until gone 4pm . I put one child to bed at 6pm and the other at 7pm. I do all the cleaning he doesn’t clean up at all . He’ll clean up very very rarely you’ll never rarely see him clean . Parenting the only thing he’ll help with is laying in the bed with my youngest to get her to sleep but that’s about it I guess or maybe send me money to get them presents for any occasion or food if I needed it . Cooking no very rarely too . Only food he cooks is when there’s a roast

Oh no 🤦‍♀️ 😅😂

So instead if asking him about getting a job, stop him coming over at the weekend, sort out when he has the children, sort of maintenance, and move on.

Oh, so you aren't actually together? If you are 'sort of' together then cut your losses and split permanently, he is not a partner and life is easier when you aren't resenting a lump of a man who should be pulling their weight but isn't

Tomorrow ring Child maintenance and get that sorted

Apply for jobs that do not require him to provide childcare, he is unreliable and will sabotage you. Bar work is probably out in that case as a babysitter will cost as much as your wages

Set up formal contact arrangements where he takes the children out and has full responsibility, don't allow him to have them at yours he needs to get them out and about and he needs to learn to parent them without you as a full back.

Stop texting about anything other than child arrangements and their wellbeing you aren't going to get the responses you want

He’s not really a “partner” is he….