Husband mimics me during an argument. Do other partners do this?

[MarillaAnn]

Does your partner ever imitate you during an argument?

The other day, after we argued about something we disagree about, my husband mimicked me for about 3 mins in a whiney baby voice (which sounded nothing like me i hope) - I guess to make out I was being silly and pathetic.

Does anyone else's partner do this when you argue?

My ex did this and I despised it. It's so belittling, I would not accept this off my current partner, he did it once having a laugh, not arguing just joking and winding each other up and even then I told him I won't accept it. Maybe because it brought back the horrible feeling from my previous relationship but it's just not something I would ever stand for ever again

My ex did something similar, but not in arguments. He developed a habit of repeating something I’d just said in a stupid squeaky voice. He seemed to think it was a joke, and not something I should be upset or annoyed about. He certainly didn’t go on for 3 minutes though.

With hindsight it was one of many signs that he just didn’t like me any more. The relationship was dead but at the time, I didn’t want it to be.

A cunt’s move

No, and if he did he’d be straight out the fucking door.

@Notsuchaniceguy

I stay because I don't want to ruin her quality of life and because I have done really shitty things as well in the past.

Do you have kids in your home?

If so, they are paying the price for this.

Their quality of life is being damaged for the sake of that of your partner's.

We did, at times, from previous marriages. Part of my shitty behaviour was not ending things for their sake. We rowed (were horrible to eachother) a lot from the get go. But we'd had an affair so I think both felt "we had to make it work".

They are adults now, nor resident. In recent years I can own the damage we did, through all of it. I knew it the time but didn't want to admit it to myself. My wife refuses to accept she's ever done anything really wrong.

Still just us now. We deserve each other I guess.

Mocking is a form of contempt which is one of the Four Horseman that are lethal to marriage (this was uncovered by the work of professor John Gottman who has studied marriage and what makes marriages succeed for 25+ years are studying thousands of coupled in the LoveLab).

The Four Horseman are

1. Criticism
2. Contempt
3. Defensiveness
4. Stonewalling

www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

It's emotional abuse and I'd not tolerate it. Maybe go and see a solicitor.

Its abusive. And babyish.

not that but the old chestnut of bringing up x or the you can talk you do x etc

I would t find it belittling. I'd find it really cringey. For him. Really OP that is very peculiar and juvenile behaviour. If my dh ever does anything a bit cringe I just make the statement 'please stop. I can't possibly have sex with you after seeing this. It's totally given me the ick'

He stops. Whatever it is.

Thank you everyone. It is helpful to know that others think this is unacceptable.

He has done impressions of me a few times before, and I had told him I think it's horrible. He said sorry at the time, but then did it again last week. When I brought it up he didn't think it was a big deal.

He has also done unkind impressions of my parents, which I actually find worse. I made him promise not to do that again, and it has improved a bit.

The context the other night was that we were arguing over him being resistant to my parents coming to stay for future Christmases (he was saying that he didn't want them ever to come over Christmas, which I posted about on here).

On a couple of previous occasions when I've found his position on things really unreasonable, I have stamped my foot once in frustration.

When he was imitating me the other day, he was walking round the kitchen talking in a whiney baby voice and he kept stamping his foot in a silly way (making out it's something i often do, when i only do it occasionally when really frustrated).

Mine's never done that in 33 years together.

that’s a really horrible way for him to behave

Stamping your foot is a practically involuntary response to feeling of extreme frustration.

Mimicking you is a conscious attempt to undermine, humiliate and anger you.

They are two very different behaviours and he needs to fuck right off if he's attempting to compare the two.

I don't think I could stay with someone who did that - that behaviour would make me lose all respect for them.

I'd be tempted to wait till next time, let him do the whole silly imitation, stay cool as a cucumber throughout then look him calmly in the eye and say' do you know what? I just don't want to be with you anymore'.

Then walk away.

No, probably because my partner isn’t 10 years old.

This

What @saythebellsofstclements said.

Of course he says it's no big deal. But if someone did this to him at work he'd be utterly shocked and outraged. He knows full well what he is doing.

The other day my partner mimicked me at the front door when I was upset and laughed. I was abused in a previous relationship and this happened on a regular basis.
no it isn’t right and unfortunately as it’s happened once before I have now stood up to him but presently our relationship is no longer the same.
It makes your heart hurt, But no woman should put up with it.

My Ex would do this.

His language was not my first language (very tricky to learn and pronounce correctly)
He would mimic the way I pronounced the words and in a baby voice, immediately shutting me down.

It's so infantile, but hurtful.

Mine certainly would. The mimicking would only last 30 seconds before that gob would get a land… how petty, direspectful and mean.

I would record him, then play it back or have it as my ring tone. I would use this to ridicule him for the rest of his natural life - but then I am quite vindictive 😂

…I bet it stops after this !

My neighbour mimicked me in an arguement. I was hurt because her Golden scratched my bare leg several times with her dew claw. The claw has never been trimmed and is like a razor. Of course I know the dog doesn't mean to hurt me, but I still cried out in pain. I've never ever shouted at her dog or been unkind however my neighbour took offence that I was saying 'Ow'
She berated me in front of my DP, saying it was upsetting her that I was saying 'Ow' and that her dog didn't mean to hurt me...and then mimicked me: 'I mean ow; ow; ow' ..how over the top'! I have never felt so disrespected. I admit I lost my cool and told her to f* off. Has anyone else ever experienced this? I honestly cannot believe she did it.

No, that’s nasty.