Obviously I know no one can tell me, just want some opinions please.
DH and I have been together 14 years, married 10 and have 3 young children together. Our relationship for the most part has been great. He truly is my favourite person and I love him very much. He’s considerate towards me, a great Dad and hands on around the house.
About 4 years ago when I was heavily pregnant with our 3rd child I found some messages on his I pad. We had been going through a very rough patch. I got pregnant with DC3 when DC2 was only 3 months old and DC1 only 3 years old. My husband works away a lot and I don’t have any family nearby so I was struggling a lot and it resulted in lots of arguments. I was on the I pad one evening, and came across some messages that were synced to his phone. I never really used the I pad and it came as a huge shock. They were very flirtatious and inappropriate messages to his work colleague, though it was clear in the messages nothing had actually happened between them. Though maybe only because they didn’t get the chance?
It was a dark time in our relationship and we had to work really hard together to move past it.
The last few years have been great, however, the messages to his colleague have always been in the back of my mind.
DH works in a the sporting field (management side) and also enjoys playing the sport recreationally. For ease I will just say it is golf. A few weeks ago DH took our eldest son to a day out playing golf. When they came back, our son explained they had spent the day with his female colleague and her daughter. The female colleague (not the one he text years back) is a professional in this field so when I questioned my husband he said she was offering her time to give our son a bit of training. I felt a bit put out that he hadn’t mentioned her being there to me at all but didn’t really say anything.
Fast forward to this week and he’s at a golf event for work. Staying away in a hotel. He briefly mentioned who he was going with…. All guys.
I was on Facebook today and saw my husband had uploaded a picture at this event, with this female colleague! Along with one of the male colleagues he mentioned.
It all seems a bit weird that she seems to be on the scene a lot more. The more I think about it the more suss it seems… I realised that the gym he goes to religiously is not far from where she lives. I did a little Facebook stalking and on one of the pictures she is wearing my husbands woolly hat.
I called him and just lost it with him and asked if something was going on. He obviously denied it to the ground. He was incredibly apologetic for not mentioning that she was going to be there. Said he could completely understand why I felt suspicious and offered to leave the event and come home to talk about it. That’s what makes it hard, he’s so…… reasonable. It’s just my gut is telling me something is up.
What do you think? I know he would never admit to it and I don’t have any evidence. I did wonder why he would upload a picture to Facebook knowing I could see it, however he knows I don’t use it, only occasionally for marketplace. I asked about the hat and he just said she was freezing so he leant it to her.
Argh, I just don’t know what to do. Has anyone been in a similar situation?