Is this OK?

[kdmummyx]

Is this okay ? earlier my two sons (5years & 3 years) were arguing over a toy to cut the story short my youngest son was very upset and threw up over my partners leg as he was crying. I came downstairs to find both the kids upset and one had been sick - I reacted to my partner about the way he handled the situation regarding the toy and that our son had now been sick due to crying - he then picked up (TMI) the bits of sick off his leg (was chunks of apple I believe sorry !!) and threw the sick at my face. I’ve explained to him how this isn’t okay in my mind and he said ‘it’s just a bit of apple’ am I in the wrong or is that totally not ok to do ??

Bleurch 🤢. 100% not ok. Totally disrespectful. ⛳️. This would be a relationship ended for me.

That is beyond disgusting. Can you imagine doing that to someone else? No. Of course not. Because that is one of the most horrendous things I have ever heard. I could not come back from that. That is horrendous. Don't doubt yourself. That is as bad or worse than you think it is. Are you OK? I would genuinely find that traumatising.

You say you reacted? Expand....

I would 100% be leaving him forever

I would never in my life ever considered a person would do this.
Let alone your partner, father of your children and I'm guessing in front of them both?

He's a Vile and nasty cunt.
It would be so over.
No going back from this.

What will it be next time? The contents of a nappy?
Wanker 😡

And you’ve dumped him of course because that’s completely vile and unforgivable

Trying to write something supportive but acutally speechless. WTF. Get rid of this disrespectful abuser.
Treating you like this in front of the kids is abusing them too.

He’s revolting

I've explained to him why this isn't ok

Why?

If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times here: if you find yourself having to EXPLAIN to someone OBVIOUSLY unacceptable behaviour is unacceptable- you.are.in.an.abusive.relationship.

It is in my opinion themost common and biggest indicator of being with an abuser. Finding yourself explaining why bad is bad. Trying frantically to find the 'right words' to make them understand and FEEL anything remotely normal like empathy, respect, remorseful. It's not going to happen.

He does understand! He MEANT to hurt you. It's you that needs yo understand THAT.

No more explaing to them.
Explain to yourself it's time to leave. That he doesn't respect you and you can't talk respect into people that just don't have it. Same for empathy.

Stop telling the lion to stop chewing on your leg.
Just run for the hills love!

Brilliant post.

What an absolute horrible bastard! Just not the sort of thing anyman with any self respect or integrity would do! Not quite sure how you get beyond this. You have to decide in your mind if he can apologise and show some remorse you forgive him or kick the fucker out. Alternatively you could rub his toothbrush around the rim of the toilet and give him a mouthfull of sores. My girlfriend did this to her cheating ex husband!

It's totally NOT ok!!! Vile person he is. You do not and should not have to tell him why it's not ok either!

Why do you even need to ask if someone throwing sick at you is not ok? What else happens to you if you need to ask this?

God help your children if you need to ask if this behaviour is okay.

Brilliantly written. Should have read this before writing my drivel and just pointlessly copied it as I have now done. Mumsnet - please can we have this post to copy and paste on to other threads for those poor women who do this daily about all sorts of utterly bonkersly unreasonable behaviour that they question.

It is in my opinion themost common and biggest indicator of being with an abuser. Finding yourself explaining why bad is bad. Trying frantically to find the 'right words' to make them understand and FEEL anything remotely normal like empathy, respect, remorseful. It's not going to happen.

I got past this to "just go onto the street and ask literally anyone, the first person you see, if your behaviour is OK...". Thinking that if only every other person in the world would explain to my exH he would understand.

PP is right, there is no point. They know and they don't care.

*I got past this to "just go onto the street and ask literally anyone,
the first person you see, if your behaviour is OK...". Thinking that if
only every other person in the world would explain to my exH he would
understand. *

And this is where it becomes even more abusive, wanting others to validate your experience, chances are the abusers are pretty much thought of as lovely people to the outside world because whilst the victim has been devoted to the abuser, the abuser has been spending his'her time making connections with others leaving the victim isolated.

It's an absolute no win.

You can only win (or survive) by being completly NC.

So true @ItsBeenRaining

This is shocking. It’s clearly not right and he’s absolute scum to do this to you.

I’d also question why he let the argument between two children escalate so far that one was being physically sick. He sounds abusive to you all. Please leave.

Oh OP that’s really not ok, that’s just awful.

👏

Vile behaviour

OP. Did you really, seriously think you would post this and people would reply, "yeah of course its fine to throw vomit in your face, stop overreacting"?

Op what other things like this has he done to you!

It beggars belief that people don't know the difference between what's normal and what isn't after years with twats.