No coming back from this is there?

[Mirrorimagemenopause]

Told my partner last week, I had been to the doctors about a mole that has recently developed and told him I was being referred to a skin specialist. Partner, after acknowledging it did look concerning then proceeded to get on his knees and put his hands together in the praying position to thank God & asking God to answer his prayer to rid him of me. We have not been getting on as I have been running out of tolerance that he struggles to remain in continuous work & due to ill health has not been able to work much during 2023. I literally pay for everything, the mortgage, bills & food. He is useless at managing his money & Cleary has no appreciation to the hand that feeds & keeps him. I can’t afford to separate as he won’t leave the house & if I left & sold house he would get up to 50% & I wouldn’t be able to buy another house with my share. We have twin girls aged 9. I feel like I’m stuck with him until they are older.

I agree with this, and what others are saying.

Good luck with your tests, OP. I hope you haven’t got melanoma. But if you have, that’s even more reason to leave this vile man, who will hinder your recovery.

Turn it on its head.

If you had half of what you have now financially, would you pool resources with a complete stranger who wants you dead?

There may lie your answer.

That's awful, but so is this. What health issues does he have? Are they completely out of his control or made worse by his lifestyle etc?

We have not been getting on as I have been running out of tolerance that he struggles to remain in continuous work & due to ill health has not been able to work much during 2023.

WTF is all I can think! OP get rid of him at once this is disgusting

You need to leave … that is disgusting and seriously scary

Yes you will financially struggle but you won’t be paying for a dead weight at the moment you are paying for a roof over his head and presumably food for a man who wishes you dead!!

You could end up paying 10 + miserable years on a mortgage to build equity and still give him half! Best to start out tough again and rebuild your own equity

Also think of your daughters what are you role modelling to them about relationships. How would you feel if in 20 years they are in a similar relationship as that is all they know from their childhood

Talk to friends and family confide in them and all the very very best for your diagnosis and hopefully this is the year you find freedom

Ew. He’s completely disgusting, and sponging, as well. He deserves to be out on the street on his arse.

You need to start your own thread. This is someone else's.

OP this is truly awful! I'm sorry you're going through the health scare and I'm even more sorry you live with such a vile human, how can he expect all which you provide and then wish you dead FFS

I saw a thread title the other day about worst things you've read on here, I couldn't think of what I would pick but this thread would certainly top it.

I know you say you're unable to leave but is there anything that you could do even if it would be difficult? Is it worth seeing a solicitor for some advice? Surely anywhere would be better than with him

How are you this morning @Mirrorimagemenopause ?

That "man" is vile. He is a weak and twisted individual

Get him far away from you

This sounds like excellent advice. Also, speak to a solicitor about severing the joint tenancy if applicable and making sure your share is left to your kids, or parents, instead.
And obviously, stop doing anything for him. No laundry, no cooking, separate supplies - under lock and key if necessary. What a monster.

As a child of parents who "stayed together" for me and my sister...Please PLEASE do not do that to them.
I am telling you now no amount of materialistic things are better than a genuinely happy home. Even if you try your hardest to hide the contempt he has for you the kids WILL pick up on this. It will leave them feeling anxious and stressed out in their own home. A rented happy home will two happy parents who live separately is ALWAYS better than two parents who hate each other and stay together. My sister and I grew up with all the best of stuff but our parents hated each other and the atmosphere was awful...they never argued infront of us it was just like this tense stuffy...well blluuurrgggh feeling. Your daughters will look at your relationship as to what a partnership should be so if you wouldn't wish that kind of relationship for your daughters show them that its wrong and unacceptable. If your partner feels like this about you its all down hill from here....he might end up cheating or becoming even more abusive because my dear that response was nothing but vile! I wouldn't wish death on my worst enemy especially not one as horrific as cancer....and even if he said it out of spite but doesn't genuinely mean it ....you will hold on to that comment...you are absolutely correct there is NO COMING BACK FROM THIS !....Walk away ! Be happy with your girls and some where along the lines you might find the man of your dreams....but you certainly ain't gonna find him in your current situation. Best of luck beautiful, I hope all goes well and they just freeze it off with no further issues....but see if they can freeze that giant leech off ur ass while they are at it xxx

You don't need to leave the house. But separate and get wheels in motion to either one of you buy the other out or force a sale. This is no way to live.