My partner and I are both in our 50s and live 2 hours apart so see each other when we can. We have no immediate plans to live together.
We’ve been together for four years. He was married for a long time before his wife left him. They were together from quite young. He always says he didn’t care that they split but when we got together told me the date they got engaged married etc. He was single for a few years after as wasn’t ready to move on. She’s still on his will etc.
So a couple of years ago, we got engaged. There wasn’t a proposal, he just put it on my finger. He bought it from eBay, a pretty ring but not a precious metal or stone. Two years later, he cannot recall the date we got engaged and is now saying he may never remarry. If I bring it up, he tells me to move on if I think I can do better. I often feel a sense of sadness that he took his ex wife to choose hers, their rings were engraved etc.
I find more and more that he says and does things that make me think that he was never in love with me at all. My birthday for example, ‘why on earth would I send you flowers?’
He puts a lot of emphasis on sex and can make suggestions that I can be uncomfortable with. But that makes me boring.
So while he says he loves me, he’s not actually in love with me is he?