Sharing money and working hours

[incomeout]

We have lived together for 10 years and have two children but are not married. We have a mortgage and currently split all bills equally on a 50/50 split.

Earnings are broadly similar in terms of take home pay - I generally bring home up to £100 more per month, but this is offset by his annual bonus.

I work part time for my equivalent pay and he works full time.

It's a great set up all fine and dandy.

He would like to reduce his hours which would obviously reduce his take home pay.

Question - should we continue as above with 50/50 split of the bills or should I then pay more bills as I will be earning more? (With us both then working approximately the same amount of hours)

Think that should be enough info for you all to make a broad judgement and I'm very interested to know your stance so I can decide whether it is reasonable of me to encourage his reduction in hours and financial support to do so.

Thanks

just to be clear…. you take home more than him working part time?

It's a great set up all fine and dandy.

well clearly not for him!

Depends on why he’s reducing hours

It's about equal money wise as my take home is say £1000 more on a monthly basis but he gets an annual bonus of £1000 so works out the same.

Yes I earn more for less hours.

Surely it’s a family decision whether you can afford for him to be part time? In our house we just pay into one pot and bills come out.

Why do you say that?

I have been able to maintain a career, contribute half of all the bills and due to working part time have also picked up the primary care for children re school drop off pick ups and not having to use after school clubs?

Would love to know what you mean by this comment.

Why does it depend on the reason?

Let’s see how this tread goes
theres one where the woman is part time and a lower earner and the consensus is that all money should be pooled and to do anything else is hugely unfair to the lower earner

As long as you both agree with the reduction in his hours and as a family can afford it, I would have thought that you would split bills proportionately according to take home pay.

because he wants to change it? 🫤

seriously???

Oof i bet you’re a tricky character to have a discussion with in RL

It’s a very different thing if he wants to do less hours so he to reduce unmanageable work stress, or so he can take on more of the housework / childcare vs. He just fancies working less so he can play more golf.

Not really enough info. Is he reducing hours due to health/ family reasons? If not then he should continue to work to contribute 50:50 finances.

If you have a higher earning capacity could you increase your hours and he takes on childcare and household tasks if he reduces hours?

I work pt and dh ft. I earn more than him. But I do pick up more childcare and dog care tasks as I work mostly from home. We split chores. We also have separate finances, but are both comfortable. If he reduced his hours, and therefore his earning capacity then I'd expect him to cut back on things he buys himself- games, clothes, hobbit bits etc but not reduce his household contribution. Unless there was a health/ disability reason which as a family we would work through.

@withthischoice

He has asked about reducing his hours but not about me increasing my proportion of bills. I'm just asking on here to work out whether this is something I should offer.

Pool all family money and see if you can jointly afford it and also have the lifestyle/spending money you both want. Also have a discussion about sharing more child and home responsibilities since he'll have more time. Then agree it's workable or not.

Seems like you're turning it into more complicated decision than it needs to be?

is there any particular reason why the two of you haven’t married?

will it be equal part time or one working more?

Do you intend to go full time in the future?

how old are your children?

I didn't realise the reason for reducing hours would make that much of a difference to the response. It would mean we both work around the same number of hours although he would be bringing less into the household.

I have benefited from working part time for the last 10 years and we are older parents so the reason is to slow down a bit as a sort of age thing I guess. He is a manual worker so it is a 45 hour week - looking to reduce by one day per week.

To be fair I'd probably still be working less hours than him per week even with his reduction.

Just work out your finances needs (bills, food,... ) v wants (hobbies, holidays, ...) and see if you can afford it.
If you agree to the reduction in hours, then naturally the person earning more will pay more.

We have never got around to it as we have always had bills and mortgage to pay with not too much disposable income. Salary has increased over the years but hours reduced. Mortgage has only come down slightly. Financially it hasn't been a priority.

Not sure if is being married would make a difference to the response either?

would the sim be to have the time off together or to tag team?

Do you seriously need to ask all the questions you've raised on this post - I thought there was enough detail to provide a broad response either way.

What a ridiculous question. Would that really make a difference as to the response on this thread?

Honestly I think you have to think about the total income you both have and what a drop would mean. Calculate costs in the next 5-10 years, do you have dc learning to drive, going to uni. Would your dp be able to increase hours if needed, would you. Are you happy to add in the extra? I think it does matter why but ultimately you need to share the financial burden whatever that is and make sure that is balanced with a good home life balance for you both.

Context is everything. And the impact on both of you from your partner going part time should be considered.