How to split income/outgoings?

[CarrotyO]

I will be moving in with my bf of two years, into a new house, once the sale/purchase goes through. We're not married, no kids - although will be trying for a baby. We're 37/41 years old.

The mortgage is in my name alone, and I have built up the equity for it. I am currently in a position to save every month. I overpay on my mortgage when I can. I will be taking on a bigger mortgage, but it means we can move to a nicer area and we will both have the space to work from home a few days a week. I'm not sure how to split the money / bills equitably, and also save for things like home improvements and holidays.

Income: I bring in £3k after tax, he brings in £1.6k after tax. No bonuses or extra income.

Outgoings I estimate may be around £2k a month:
Mortgage: £1k (but it would be nice to overpay)
Bills: £600 (Including car expenses)
Food: £300
Cats: £100

We also both have commuting costs, he is paying for a therapist privately.

Currently I am picking up more of the 'couple' costs but he does pay for stuff eg I will book a weekend away and pay for the air bnb, but then he will pay for dinner when we eat out.

@CarrotyOyou don't want him or are giving him a chance to own even a percentage of the new house but you want him to pay for it and you are asking which will be the fair contribution.

In my opinion the fair contribution to the mortgage/ rent you want to charge him is zero.

You both benefit of living together because of the company, the love etc that should be there.

He should contribute his fair share with the rest of the stuff, including council taxes etc.

If the cats are yours you should pay for them.

Just because you are female doesn’t mean you would automatically be the primary carer? Obviously things will change while recovering from pregnancy/birth, but sometimes the main carer becomes the man!

I have 2 babies with my partner. No plans to getting married. You know you don't need to.

It's better for him in the here and now.

For you, if you split up, you've gained because you've had help to pay the house now which has increased the equity later

The point is, you both benefit now (both of you are living more cheaply than you would be without each other) but you stand to benefit long term if you kick him to the curb and waltz off with all the extra equity that he's contributing to now.
Along with the fact that you hold all the cards and he'd just be living with you in your home.
It doesn't seem very "long term relationship", more "convenient for now"

Have you thought about your maternity package ? Chikdcare fees ect ?

Nevermind sorry hada scroll through your updates.

This kinda relationship and set up seems very clinical and needs must from the outside. Whilst I have the uptmost respect for you, protecting your own assets I believe you should probably get some kind of agreement of a small settlement in place for him do he doesn't walk away empty handed a second time.

You covering all the housing costs and splitting the other bills in half sounds very sensible and fair to me. Its not in your interests to marry or combine finances at this stage. Two years is not long at all, and adding a baby will definitely change the relationship in a yet to be seen way. Have a think about you will handle childcare costs in the future though, as that is like another mortgage.
You both will benefit, he will have more disposable income than he has living on his own which will give him the opportunity to save a safety net if the relationship doesn't work out. If he chooses not to save and spend it all instead, that's his choice and his consequences.

You split up and the first thing he’ll say is he was contributing to the mortgage in his £700 a month. If you have no legal contract written up to confirm this isn’t the case a judge may just believe him. Because the whole time he’s giving you £700 he will say he couldn’t buy his own place… I’ve seen this argument being used! People get really nasty about money in a separation. You need something formal whatever you agree between yourselves

Buy the house in your name. Thrash out a cohabitation agreement for bills. He can pay you a rent contribution. If he feels this in UN fair you can look to him buying in to the house in future when he has saved a deposit and when you agree as tenants in common with a percentage share as per his contribution. Get it all formally agreed.