Is anyone else convinced they'll be alone for life ?

[capabilityfrowns]

I'm just so done with men and relationships.

I've lived alone now for 4 years and I really love it and can't see that changing

I've dated for 4 years and in 4 years I fancied one bloke who said the distance was too far and that was that after one date

I dont fancy anyone ever
Well - I fancied one bloke in 40 years and I'm 52 soon

I just think this is it . And is that so awful? Not settling for something shit ?

I'm resigned to growing old alone now . And I enjoy my time alone at home - I'd love to fall in love but it is t going to happen now and I'm realistic about that .
Tried everything to meet someone over last 4 years and it's a waste of time. I enjoy being an antisocial old git . Been in love once but weren't compatible. On line dating is absolutely the 7th circle of hell . Just awful . I work and that's my life . Work and home. Tried hobbies and social groups . Gave up .

Is it so bad to be alone ? And remain alone ?

I thought I'd finally found the love of my life only for him to end it after 18 months last week because he's realised he doesn't want to be a step parent to my 7 year old son with SEN. He has a 14 yr old who he has raised alone and he just can't face going back to the restrictions that come with having a young child again. I'm heartbroken. After a really shitty marriage which I ended 5 years ago I thought I'd finally had some good luck. I know I'm still in the heartbreak stage but I'm dreading the prospect of OLD again but don't want to be alone, I'm only 46. This thread hasn't really cheered me up if I'm being honest!

@CreativeCrochet is it necessary to take on step parenting duties? Is your son with you all the time? If not, can you not see each other without him present? Depending upon your situation, doesn't have to be all or nothing.

@Wooloohooloo I pitched this exact idea to him yesterday but he doesn't think I mean it and he says I'll regret it down the line cause it's not what I really want. He's not willing to meet me half way and I've learnt from past mistakes that you can't change someone else. I've just gotta go through the heartache and be alone for now

Gah! I posted earlier on this thread about my optimism regarding finding a new partner.

I was online dating during the summer, probably chatted to probably hundreds of men online, and been quite discerning about those I met in person, so saw about 7 or 8 for first dates, all of which were fine but no spark.

I left OLD in September, and rejoined just before Christmas. Been talking to lots again this time, but not been on any dates yet.

Last week, I matched with a man I found extremely physically attractive, his banter was brilliant and engaging, flirty not sleazy, and when we chatted online it turned out he has a decent job so likely earns well (I have a senior level job, and in the past experienced resentment from men who earnt less) which I rarely find.

We've chatting online every day since matching and yesterday we were exchanging messages about meeting in person next week. Today he must have unmatched me, as our message thread has gone.

Obviously I realise this wasn't to be, however on one hand raised my hopes that there are decent-ish men out there, on the other hand it feels like I will never meet one, and will indeed be alone forever 😔😔😔

I've been single since 2011 if it makes anyone feel better 😂. I have likes on OLD, I just can't get it coordinated enough to go on dates.

@CreativeCrochet aw I wish you well. It's horrible recovering from heartbreak. Look after yourself.

I am destined to be alone forever. I’m almost 53, and have been in love twice both men ghosted/cheated on me after 3/4 years together. Done tons of online dating and I rarely click with anyone except for with the one that cheated on me. Dated someone else for a couple of years after that but never felt that spark so we ended things. That was 9 years ago and haven’t dated since. I’ve peeked at the men online and none of them spark my interests and I never meet anyone in real life (except for the one that ghosted me after 4 years) so I know I will be alone forever (plus I have facial scarring now so no one would be interested anyway).

i have never lived with a man and know I never will.

Read this other post on Mumsnet OP, it’s an eye opener, you might then appreciate living on your own

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4986280-given-a-choice-i-wonder-whether-a-lot-of-women-would-prefer-to-live-on-their-own-whilst-remaining-in-a-relationship?postsby=BigButtons

I had been married for over twenty five years and it took me a long time to untangle myself from that relationship. It was toxic and was suffocating me. We have been separated for almost three years now and our divorce has just gone through, and so far I had no desire to date. I have three grown kids and they all live with me still, so I am not lonely. I am not saying I will never date, but as of now I do not want to date, and if I did, I would never marry again nor would I move in with someone. I value my freedom above all and I am very content.

Not old