Hi everyone, I met my partner around 4/5 years ago. I have a DD 11 with someone else and a 9 month old DS with him and I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant. My DP has had a chaotic life he sadly lost both parents in his early 20s which led him down a bad path. He really turned his life around when we met and was amazing with my DD. However it came to light during lockdown that he had a problem with cocaine. I thought he had used recreationally before we met and had no idea of his issues with it until then. Anyway police came to my house and searched jt which was a huge shock to me. Luckily my DD was at her dads or I would not of been able to continue the relationship. I know people will say I should have ended it then but I felt for him and He promised to stop and I chose to support him as long as he got help. Things seemed to be good and I believed he had stopped using. We have just got a joint mortgage a few months ago but I’ve caught him multiple times… leaving bags of it in pockets, crumbs on the floor, him staying up late by himself. I’ve been so stupid and niave. I told him last week if I found anything again I would leave. I actually asked him to leave for a bit but he refused. My life is such a mess and I’m bringing another baby into this. This baby was not planned and my coil had fallen out without me knowing. I know I need to put my kids first but I have no where to go as I’m joint on mortgage. I’m on extended maternity leave and currently don’t contribute financially. I’m so lost. I work as a mental health nurse seeing addiction often. I thought I could support him and that we would be enough for him to stop but addiction comes first and makes them lie and manipulate situations. I honestly thought I was going mad imaging it all but it’s there in black and white. I don’t know why I’m posting I just needed to get it off my chest. I know I need to leave for my kids sake but where do I go? I’m so upset this has happened it’s meant to be happy time in my life having kids, getting a mortgage but I feel like I’m in a nightmare. Thanks for reading x