Has anyone ever cut someone out of their life?

[AmazingDayz]

Has anyone ever cut someone out of their life that just wont accept it? Whether it’s an ex, friend, or family member? Just wondered how common it was for them to not accept it? If someone didn’t want to talk to me I would move on I wouldn’t continue to try to force my way into their life. I’m not looking for advice on how to stop them just genuinely wondered why someone would keep trying to force their way into your life if you’ve made it clear you want no contact with them?

Yeah I don’t know why you’re being so defensive OP.

in the mind of an abusive person, anything goes. Eg they might think, if she hasn’t called the police then I obviously haven’t done anything wrong or she knows she deserves it/forced me into it so she’s in the wrong. You’re playing into his mind games. His power over you fades when you involve third parties such as the authorities and he realises he loses control and that he’s being monitored by someone more powerful.

Yes, my mum. I would assume it’s because she’d rather I not be no contact and she wants to just pretend she never did any of the awful things she did.

I think if people have normal healthy boundaries, other people in their lives wouldn’t be cutting them off. By definition, usually the messed up ones with poor boundaries and an unstable sense of self who are in this situation. It’s hard for them to accept someone else putting a healthy boundary in place. So pushing it and disregarding it becomes part of the abusive behaviour.

Yes
My M
I had to.
Right decision

Very likely this.

You are not really a full human to him/her when it's a narcissist - they only see people as aids to their life, to make things easier, to massage their ego and desires, not as individual people with their own needs and goals. Your feelings don't matter/exist to a true narcissist.

They want to manipulate you, they enjoy making your uncomfortable, they need to make sure you know it's only over on their terms not yours blah blah and so on and so on.

They don't think like most people. Literally the world revolves around them and they don't care what it's doing to you.

Do some reading on narcissistic supply, @AmazingDayz. By cutting off this person, you have severed the supply of attention, admiration or drama that they were used to getting from you, and they are hoping to provoke you into re-establishing that. They will give up eventually if you stand firm, because they're no longer getting what they want from you - but depending on the nature of the individual/relationship, you should obviously take steps to keep yourself physically safe. Unwittingly, you have done exactly the right thing - these are not people you can engage with in a resonable way and the only way to deal with them is not to engage.

I answered your EXACT question @AmazingDayz

ps, and you didn't acknowledge the post never mind respond to it! That is your absolute prerogative! My ego can handle being ignored! But you state further down in the thread that you're frustrated that nobody understood/engaged with your exact question. I did. You responded to other posters though!

I hope you break free from the need to figure him out (this is definitely a stage in recovery from a trauma bond). Watch a few youtube videos about a trauma bond. Meredith Miller Inner Integration is one of my favourites. When you get to the point where you don't care what his perception of you is, then you won't hesitate to ring the police. If a drunk stranger was outside your house throwing stones at your window, you would call the police.

You could say it's a battle to win back your perception of yourself. At the moment, his perception of you is in competition with your perception of yourself.
And it's the same for him. He needs to believe he is perfect and superior to you. That's his perception of himself. You having dumped him is a threat to his self-perception so instead of taking himself off to detach from you, he's trying to change your perception of him. The two of you are enmeshed. Trauma bonded. Whatever you call it. Both of you are still locked into needing the other's perception of them to be something in particular. Cut the cord.

And one more post. It is the women who end up dead in these situations. Your perceptions of him aren't a threat to his physical safety. But his injured ego, his wounds, his rage, his inability to detach from you............. all of that is a threat to your physical safety.

I would speak to Rights of Women and see if you can gain a non-molestation order.

They aren't ever going to be reasonable.

Someone was a complete two faced evil twat to me. So I cut them from my life. Apparently she was still telling people a few years after that we'd be friends again soon.

Not a chance.