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Original poster

To wonder why he isn't free until mid Jan?

59 replies

Celia24 · 30/12/2023 21:24

I've been seeing a lawyer for over 2 months. His workload is always fairly insane but he always makes time for me since meeting.

He's from another European country and has been away for the holidays. He's kept in touch every day by message and phone and are exclusive.

However, he just said tonight that he gets back in the first weekend of Jan and then 'I'll be free to meet from the 15th'. I assume this is due to work commitments but I've been so excited to see him I can't help feeling disappointment as that's half the month gone?

Especially as we talk every day it's making me want to pull back a bit. Am I being silly given it's early days?

OP posts:
SgtJuneAckland · 31/12/2023 04:25

It's only a week? He's back on the 6/7 th at work all week and then seeing you the week after, he's been away and off work over Christmas and seems to have two jobs so work will have piled up, the fact he's agreeing to see you when term starts implies to me he'll be flat out getting ready/marking up to that point. I'm not seeing the leap to he must be married given you knew him as friends for a year before dating. It feels a little clingy from your side tbh.

Ladyj84 · 31/12/2023 05:16

If find it weird how your so into finding out what he does,where hes at looking up stuff your a red flag for me

tara66 · 31/12/2023 06:13

Just wondering - if he is from ''a foreign country'' (seems like France) how and why is he now highly qualified in law in UK (presume you are in UK)?

Catlord · 31/12/2023 07:55

tara66 · 31/12/2023 06:13

Just wondering - if he is from ''a foreign country'' (seems like France) how and why is he now highly qualified in law in UK (presume you are in UK)?

Loads of people qualify in countries they weren't born in, or they move and convert afterwards

rookiemere · 31/12/2023 08:13

To me the issue is if he really wanted to see you, he would make you a priority.

No doubt he is busy catching up after being away, but I would have thought he could spare one evening to meet up.

If you like him then do meet him and see what he says, but I'd pull back significantly on the communication for now.

Startingagainandagain · 31/12/2023 08:37

''@rookiemere
To me the issue is if he really wanted to see you, he would make you a priority.''

Exactly.

OP, if he really was keen on you he would have found a way to meet up soon after coming back.

Even if that was just a quick coffee to catch up and give you a little late Christmas present.

You have only dated this man for 2 months and I doubt very much that you are exclusive at that stage.

My thoughts would be that:

  • he is seeing other people and you are not first on his list
  • he is not that into you so sees no urgency in meeting up again.

It is very easy for someone to send you messages to keep you interested and to do the same with other women while pretending to be 'exclusive'.

Rather than focusing all your energy on this man I think you should keep your options open too.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 31/12/2023 17:17

He doesn't sound that keen to see you or he'd make the effort

gannett · 31/12/2023 17:28

rookiemere · 31/12/2023 08:13

To me the issue is if he really wanted to see you, he would make you a priority.

No doubt he is busy catching up after being away, but I would have thought he could spare one evening to meet up.

If you like him then do meet him and see what he says, but I'd pull back significantly on the communication for now.

Sometimes work has to be the priority. Early in my relationship with DP, I was self-employed and had a combination of a work backlog I'd let pile up, and a surprise last-minute commission. Pretty much told him he wouldn't be seeing me for 3 weeks. Getting through the work and doing it well didn't just need my time but my focus.

I also won't be seeing anyone for 3 weeks once NYE is over. It's a very hectic time of year for me now, and I'll be working across different time zones. No nights out, no quick catch-ups, nothing.

This is a complete non-issue to me. It's 15 days. That's not even very long.

There also isn't a single dating scenario that won't get multiple "he's married" answers on MN.

PegasusReturns · 31/12/2023 17:36

If he’s told you he’s both a practising lawyer and a lecturer, this is extremely unusual.

unless you have clarity on what he actually does then I’d consider it a big 🚩

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