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Original poster

Odds of being noticed on here by family/friends?

40 replies

Soupofthemonth · 28/12/2023 18:56

Aa you can tell, I have been very worried.

Has anyone here ever posted about a difficulty, then someone they know, friend or family has identified them through reading the thread?

OP posts:

pinkfones · 28/12/2023 19:00

I change my name a lot to try and avoid this but I do worry about it too!

I think more people are on mumsnet than care to admit.

I know I don't tell people I'm on here, which is silly really but it's a bit taboo maybe? Not sure why!

Fankyihg · 28/12/2023 19:09

10 years ago I was recognised twice by dufferent people on separate threads and usernames. I had fudged some details but they still knew, within 3 or 6 hours of posting. The threads had like 50+ replies quickly so it was on active. I wanted the grounds to swallow me up. Lost a good friend over it and made things more awkward with a relative who went on and told other relatives I now don't even use the same expressions or anecdotes that I share on MN with people in my circle so i'm not recognised hopefully. Pretty much all uk mums know of and most use it. Loads of 'silent readers'.
Just be really careful, if it's sensitive and in relationship, maybe speaking 1 to 1 in a womens aid chat or NSPC or CAB for example is better than on an open forum. You could speak as a one off session to a therapist or life coach... i mean there are other avenues if it's delicate, don't suffer in silence alone and investigate other organisations or sources that can advise with confidentiality.

JaninaDuszejko · 28/12/2023 19:15

I've no idea if anyone has ever recognised me, I do speak about MN though so it's pretty obvious I'm on here. I did once recognise a friend on here but didn't tell her, it was just in baby names or something, nothing particularly exciting.

Woahyeahyeahyeah · 28/12/2023 19:35

I don't think I've ever been outed, But I didn't once recognise SiLs kitchen from a photo she uploaded on a thread - I didn't say anything of course! I guess a lot of my Friends are on here we've just never had that chat.

overwork · 28/12/2023 20:28

I spotted a friend recently and let her know. To be fair the details she gave were very specific.
I'm also quite convinced I spotted a friend on an engagement thread as her proposal was quite specific.
I try to only talk about myself on here so if I am spotted, it hopefully wouldn't cause an issue!

Hoglet70 · 28/12/2023 20:36

I ranted about work once and a colleague said to me the next day are you such and such a person on Mumsnet. Didn't even know he flipping well came on here! I name changed!!!

Mary46 · 28/12/2023 20:58

I know Hoglet!! You have be careful lol. I try and keep my posts vague as u dont know who knows who.

Lemsipper · 28/12/2023 21:00

Probably quite high as someone said their post was suggested to their friends on Facebook on a mumsnet ad.

Someone from mumsnet jumped onto the thread and said this can sometimes happen 🤷🏼‍♀️

Lemsipper · 28/12/2023 21:02

Woahyeahyeahyeah · 28/12/2023 19:35

gosh id love to find this 😂 did you search her username to snoop more or do you have less time on your hands than me 🤣

Unescorted · 28/12/2023 21:08

Someone thought they recognised me... They hadn't, but it was entertaining taking on someone's diva tendancies.

Woahyeahyeahyeah · 28/12/2023 21:09

@Lemsipper Haha shamefully I did! But she must have name changed because I couldn't find a thing! I did have to show DH though just so he could verify it was their Kitchen! (his DB / SiLs House!)

MrsWidgerysLodger · 28/12/2023 21:10

I know I've seen at least one thread by my SIL. (situ was v specific combined with username that was something specific to her that I don't think she knew I knew about iyswim) I've never told her and never will.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 28/12/2023 21:13

I'm always surprised how many people seem to post specific details about problems they are having at work.

I assume they might have changed the details but I think that many people think they are having a private chat and are oblivious to the fact that anyone at their workplace could be reading what they are saying.

pastaandpesto · 28/12/2023 21:20

I recognised a friend's thread recently, she was posting about a very specific dilemma she had also shared with me personally. I immediately tried to forget I'd seen it and resisted the urge to search on her username. I didn't tell her I'd seen it.

SiennaMillar · 28/12/2023 21:25

I’ve never recognised anyone. You’ve definitely prompted me to NC now though

Chalkdowns · 28/12/2023 21:27

I’ve recognised a friend who had very unusual and difficult challenges which I knew about and she also posted about. She’s changed her name now though so I never had to mention it thank fully

wite · 28/12/2023 21:42

I've recognised a few but haven't ever told them.

seethebrightside · 28/12/2023 21:45

I've never recognised anybody, but I would secretly love to.

I name change frequently, and always change details of DS/DD and ages etc, but I get worried that someone will pull me up on it and say that I'm drip feeding or lying because in a diff post I had 2 DS, not 2 DD! I just do it to keep vague not for any other reason.

MakeItRain · 28/12/2023 21:51

A friend once linked me to a thread I'd started and said, "This sounds like you!" It was a fairly innocuous thread, but she recognised the anecdote. I used to post all sorts about my break up when I was first divorced (under another name). The support was lovely but I wouldn't do it these days as I think the chances of being recognised are probably higher than we all realise.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 28/12/2023 22:18

In 15 years, I have recognised someone, and someone else has recognised me. Nothing controversial though.

TotallyTeuch · 28/12/2023 22:30

I recognised the OP in one of the most controversial thread/s this year despite lots of people thinking she was a troll. I told Mumsnet admins I'd recognised her & name changed/assumed she'd name change too. I don't think she's ever been back but I wouldn't go looking anyway.

LoinChop · 28/12/2023 22:48

I recognised someone I used to work with and knew her and her dh quite well. It was rather entertaining for a while but the shine wore off it and I've not searched for her for a long time. I've seen her pop up on threads intermittently and I don't even particularly read her posts thinking Oooh I know you. No idea if anyone has recognised me. I name change frequently but definitely under one user name I used to discuss very specific issue with dc, if any of my friends had read those posts they'd know it was me.

Mushroomsouptonight · 28/12/2023 22:49

My ex partner is on here and yes he did search for my posts.

Mojolostforever · 28/12/2023 22:55

I know that certain family members are on here, so I regularly change my username, and I change details, such as gender and ages of relatives, where I live, etc.

PickAChew · 28/12/2023 22:58

Even on a relatively "anonymous" site like mumsnet it's safest not to share more than you're comfortable with people who know you knowing.

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