Found messages from years ago

[tobeornottobesingle]

My husband is a disrespectful a hole right? Together just coming up 15.5 years, married 7.5 years

How did you find this? It's not great but sounds like joking to me. It's more worrying why you are scrounging around for this and getting upset about it. What can you do about it now?

So these are 8+ years old?

@ElevenSeven yes over 8 years old

@flowerchild2000 he gave me his phone to find some photos of my son when he was little to print for his baby book. This was in his photos. I have sent it to myself but haven't mentioned it yet.

That must have been some scrolling to go back 8 years! With the talk of 'base' are they in the forces?

In his photos so is a screenshot
?

@WhereIsBebèsChambre my son is 8. You can click on the years on an iPhone so no not too much scrolling

@WhereIsBebèsChambre no not in the forces and yes it's a screenshot.

I don't think you've erased the location very well. I'm pretty sure I can see what it says. You might want to edit them.

I don't think these messages look particularly concerning. What is it you've taken exception to? Someone telling him nearly a decade ago that they used to fancy him?

He screenshot his own message?! Ok he's the weirdo here not you. I'd be mad too now that I see how it happened. Especially while looking for baby photos. Is there any other infidelity though? If this was it I wouldn't be too too upset and I might end up teasing about it, but if this is piggy backing other things I'd be having a serious talk.

Did they meet? There’s not really much here to go on, tbh.

Probably better asking him directly if it’s eating you up.

His messages are the blue ones? There's not anything I would worry about in those. If his are the grey ones, has she taken a screenshot of the conversation and sent it back to him? Seems rather peculiar

Is it just these messages OP? Or is there anything else untrustworthy about his behaviour in the time you've been together? This is a long time ago. Unless you think they did actually meet up and something happened then I'd try to forget about it.

His are the grey ones I think @SchrodingersBrexit

Flirtatious and disrespectful to you. I wonder if they ever met up. Even if not, this was an inappropriate exchange with him saying he fancied her and might meet up with her without telling you.

I’d confront him.

@GenXisthebest It was just this photo that I saw. I have just realised as a pp has said it must have been sent from her as he is the grey writing. I'm starting to wonder about other things now and if things have happened. Or if they met up.

This.

I’m assuming his messages are the ones in grey, in which case why has she print screened them and sent them to him?

I thought so, but grey messages are the received not sent. He must have been sent a screenshot of his own messages. If it were me, I'd be really curious about that bit.

@MsDogLady thank you for getting. It felt like a kick in the stomach.

It's the same girl that posted several 'congratulations' on many of our wedding photos. It was a bit weird at the time as I don't know her and she's never been mentioned.

Why did she send him the screenshot of the message. Hmm that's curious. I guess to remind him of saying he fancied her or remind him of the conversation where said they'd meet up. He had probably deleted the message.

Either way you have proof of light flirting and intention to conceal meeting up with a woman. It's emotional cheating in my eyes.
I would confront him and ask him to explain himself.

Has your DH ever mentioned this woman do you know anything about her?

@Flowerbombblossom

No nothing at all. Only her job and location from the messages.

I will confront him once the children have gone to bed tonight.

A screenshot sent back to him of the messages would suggest that the conversation has continued after that brief exchange. So, the message at the time is disrespectful but I'd be concerned about what happened afterwards.

If it were me, I wouldn't confront him immediately, I'd look for other screenshots, whatsapp conversations (including his archive) and see if I could find out more.

So sorry you had to find this. It must be hurtful and I guess confusing.

Only he has the answers.
What are you thinking? Have you ever had issues around other women before?

The messages are nearly a decade old, it seems a big overreaction after such a long time unless there are other things going on? They clearly hadn't seen eachother for 7 years before the messages so it seems pretty harmless

Yes it's totally inappropriate for him to say he might not tell his partner about meeting up with her because he used to "fancy her like mad".

He wasn't single.

He shouldn't have been referring to fancying her like mad, whether in the past or not.

Nor should he have been implying he might keep it from his partner if he met up with her.

If the shoe was on the other foot and you were speaking like this to another bloke, I seriously doubt he'd be ok with it.
Had you just had his child too?

It's a pity you only found this so long later.

But now you know who and what you're with, and I'd adjust your expectations and investment accordingly.

I'm sure his response will be "it was only bantz, you're OTT, bullshit bullshit"

I agree but I actually wouldnt.

He'll just go through all his Comms and delete them all, and be careful in future.

I'd concentrate on going through anything I got access to

See what happened if anything with this woman and if there's anything else.

He's a flirtatious, disrespectful, inappropriate twat. That's not usually totally isolated.