Found messages from years ago

[tobeornottobesingle]

My husband is a disrespectful a hole right? Together just coming up 15.5 years, married 7.5 years

Only he has the answers.

Well his communications might have them if he's not good at clearing out .....which he's clearly not if op has come across screenshotted messages of him telling other women he used to fancy them like mad and he might not tell his partner if they meet up, from years ago.

He's a human and allowed to have fun banter if there's no serious feelings behind it. If this is all you have you're majorly overreacting. Both sexes love attention and enjoy little things like this or harmless chat to boost their ego, I'm sure you might also get your own kicks from other people that make you feel attractive. If in moderation it's not necessarily malicious or indicative of someone untrustworthy.
Have a respectful chat.

Yes he's a disrespectful twat, sorry you've found out now.

Yeah I wouldn't be very happy if I saw those messages, particularly the last one.

I'd have to say something. But be prepared for him to react badly and to be really defensive.

If it’s a screen shot and she’s sent it, are the messages definitely from him?

He's a human and allowed to have fun banter if there's no serious feelings behind it

Wtaf.

I'm sure you might also get your own kicks from other people that make you feel attractive.

You're assuming a lot about op (and other people) that is probably not correct .

A lot of projection going on there perhaps.

Why has this woman sent him a screenshot of their messages from 8 years ago?

That's weird.

When did she send the screenshot? You should be able to tell from his camera roll.

I assumed the OP had screen shot the messages rather him or the woman having the exchange? I would be annoyed about the not telling me about meeting - but the rest (on it's own) wouldn't bother me. Were they the only messages?

No photo from the camera roll and the grey messages are from the husband so must have been sent by the OW.

I'm not saying anything to him. I had a Quick Look at messages on messenger when he was showering as he is out with friends tonight. I cannot find her messages. She seems to have been blocked by him. My guard is now up. These were on his camera roll from 8 years ago. Not long before our wedding which makes it worse. I recognised her name as I remember raising her comments on our wedding photos to him and he just said someone he was friends with a long time ago. She commented on a lot of them saying congratulations and lovely couple... no idea how she knows as I have never met her. If he hadn't written the last message it wouldn't have bothered me at all.

I wouldn’t think too much into it now OP, if you can’t find anything else on his phone and you had no suspicion about anything prior to finding that? Sounds like it was just a silly conversation and he probably came to his senses and left it alone. Either ask him about it or let it go I reckon.

Also, if it was shortly before the wedding it might have been a case of last minute ‘oh my god, I’m committing to one person forever’ jitters and he just enjoyed a flirt. I think a lot of people have that panic before getting married. Hence why a lot of flirting / cheating probably happens on hen and stag parties… if it was just a few messages I would let it go.

I think the fact she screenshot the messages and sent them to him suggests she wanted to remind him of something he had said previously. If anything, I wonder if she took the messages more seriously than him? She might have later confronted him over leading her on?

@flowerchild2000 she’s come here for support don’t make her the bad guy he is. She is entitled to wink what her husband is up to
xxx is a red flag

A bit of this I think ^

I reckon he dumped her before you wed & she was reminding him of the things he’d previously said to her? She was upset & wanted to rub his nose in it.
Could that be it?