Boyfriend sometimes spaces out when I’m talking and it makes me sad

[letitbe78]

On the whole our relationship is amazing but sometimes I find when I’m speaking he doesn’t seem that interested or doesn’t respond.
Sometimes I’ll tap him and he apologises and says he didn’t hear, so I have to repeat.
Sometimes I’ll tap him and then he does reply, but he seemed spaced out.
Sometimes if I’m talking at length about something he’ll say “mmm” “yeah” and I feel I have to apologise for rambling on.

This isn’t all the time, we often have long and Deep conversations.

I have spoken about this to him and he says it’s not the case, that he’s not bored, that he doesn’t mean to and sometimes he just doesn’t hear me. He also said that not everything requires a response.

Am I being silly? I do suffer from anxiety and wonder if it’s me.

I zone out, especially if multiple conversations are going on or it's really noisy, I just can't cope. It's not me being rude.

I've done it for years, I'm blame my epilepsy (not that I've had a seizure in decades). I often just sit and stare then all of a sudden come back.

Could there be any neurodivergence, even if undiagnosed? Zoning out common in ADHD. I’m dyspraxic, which has some overlap with ADHD and I have zoned out of conversations my whole life. Or out of listening to the teacher at school during childhood. It’s not due to boredom, it’s a kind of daydreaming that I can’t help.

This, especially if it was linked to their arrogance that I had to listen in awe to their monologuing at me!

@WhereIsBebèsChambre just as well it doesn’t apply to the OP then. Seeing that she doesn’t expect him to listen to her in awe whilst monologuing

A lot of people don't like to be talked to much, nor have lengthy conversations.

If you talk too much, unless you find someone similar as you...a large portion of people will respectfully tune you out and respond with the bare minimum...in an effort to get you to take the hint and end the conversation.

People have things to do, and things they need to/want to focus on.

A large portion of people don't want to be spoken to in lengthy seemingly never ending conversations.

Find some similar individuals who want to converse in lengthy fashions...and who wouldn't mind listening.

If your boyfriend is ignoring you about the really important things, and things that need sorting out, drop him.

It's an individual thing. Some people are mellow, chill, and can't handle lengthy conversations.

Also, you have to learn how to respect people's time, space, and energy. You have to know when to end conversations at an appropriate time, you have to access engagement and interest of the person you're conversing with...and the person in general...you have to learn (if you don't know already) appropriate timing when to have these conversations...don't start if you see them trying to relax, busy with other things, trying to focus on the telly, just coming in from someplace, etc...

It's kind of disrespectful, controlling, and abusive that you know that he doesn't like lengthy conversations. You know that he tunes you out respectfully ..but you still are insistent and adamant about continuing.

If you need more of a conversationalist, and are unhappy with this..end things.