MY cousin has been accused of rape.

[supressedmemories]

I have namechanged for this for obvious reasons. My cousin is 1 year older than me and has just been arrested and accused of raping his partner. I cant say Im particularly surprised. he's always been a nasty, violent little shit and totally obsessed with female genitalia. I used to go over there with my parents and 2 younger brothers and he used to try to pull my trousers down (soon twigged onto not wearing a skirt around him) and touch me. when i was 13 i refused to go to my aunties because he was getting v rough and aggressive. I had forgotten/supressed (?) just how bad these "games" were until now. and havent seen him in nearly 20 years.

the problem is that all of my family are horrified that this woman has pressed charges, they are convinced that he's innocent and shes a lying slut. unfortunately they have a history of sweeping those skeletons into the closet and have never faced up to anything. should i tell them about what he used to do to me? or just forget about it, it was a long time ago and surely not much can be gained by me telling now.

But isnt it a bit circumstantial? Would it have any direct bearing on the case, or would it just help them to find something to look for in their investigation?

The police may not necessarily divulge the source, just that a teenage friend has come forward. Could be anybody?
Now, I am not an expert, but I think the police is quite good at protecting their sources?

I once had to give information about a drug dealer setting up a new distribution network, and I got full anonymity and protection, and a promise I would never have to witness in court. They had plain clothes visiting my flat, as they would not want me seen going into the station.

thank you all for your advice. i need to go out for a few hours but will think it over and speak to my counsellor about it.

But surely not something that could so easily be dismissed as teenage horseplay 20 years ago? I'm not saying it's not relevant or genuine but most 14 year olds don't have such a clear idea of when 'games' have gone too far as an adult would.

xp again! I'm sure you will know in your own mind whether or not going to the police is the right course of action. I would definitely talk to your counsellor first

swc - rape.

No it wasn't rape - read the op. The current allegation is rape - the 'historic incident' wasn't.

sorry fortyplus, my last post was in answer to smallwhite cat, who was answerign my hijack. not relevent to op.

No - I know - she asked what the 'historic incident' was.

Past history will not be given in court. The defendebts have what is called a 'shield' and it can only be broken if he or his counsel agree. Though there is debate to change this in come circumstances. The woman's past sexual history, even though it is not supposed to be, still often is.

That's how Ian Huntly got off so many times

yes, my historic incident. apols, i should have started own thread, but dont think id have had the oomph to do it tbh. thank you smallwhitecat.
and apols for confusion.

Sorry - I'm easily confused

no smallwhitecat. i didnt tell a soul for a whole year. there is absolutely no evidence but my word.

that is v good news i think. about background stuff being more useable.

boysontoast - Victim Support are brilliant for supporting you telling about and dealing with a more historic allegation and helping access the police. Police are also well used to doing this and the ones I work with work closely with victim support services. They may not be able to take it further, but they often find women can find it cathartic to tell of an experience and be believed. Plus it can in some cases link to other ones so be very useful to them.

god no, id never get anywhere with that! my word against his over a decade later? nah.

right, ok. i will contact VS and go that way then, thanks both.

Good luck x

Good.

SM, whan you say 'my' family do you mean your close family. your parenst and siblings or his close family. Your close family are far more likely to help you if you came for ward. The same can't be said for his close family for obvious reasons.

But stopping him doing this again has to be the main focus - though I know it will be hard, I reckon you will feel better having done the right thing.

thank you both. v v much.