Xmas invite!

[Charlene46]

My sister in law invites us to her house for Xmas dinner either on Xmas eve or the evening of the 25th. However I’ve found out I’m pregnant and I get extremely sick / nauseous and weak in the evenings and so I’ve asked my husband if we could cancel. He’s told me that he has every intention of going with our 3 children and I can stay at home!!!

You will have your dh and dc Christmas morning and afternoon, and he will take them for a few hours in the evening to dinner. You are being unreasonable and a bit precious.

YABU - It’s one evening out of the rest of your life.

If you’re that desperate for them to be with you that evening, why don’t YOU ring SIL and tell her?

You’re beginning to sound like a petulant child yourself now because you’re not getting your own way.

Slightly thoughtless but you could just enjoy the peace and quiet. Make him cook you lunch. I was the same.

I'm with pp - if you feel well on the day you can go and enjoy it. If you don't feel well, you may be glad of an evening to just chill. SIL has given two options, so choose the one that would bother you least.... say Christmas Eve if you want to be with your children all of Christmas Day.

That said, is y our DH usually dismissive of your needs? If you asked him a week ago to ask if it could be moved to the daytime and he said 'tough', knowing you're suffering morning sickness, he sounds heartless.

So you will be spending Christmas Day with them during the daytime, but they are going out in the evening when you'll be feeling rubbish?

Sorry OP, I think you're being a wee bit unreasonable. If you're feeling weak and ill after what will be a busy day, you probably won't be that great company for your DH or DC. It will be more fun for them to go out rather than staying home just to keep you company.

This

Some nasty responses here.
I would be so upset if I was left alone on Christmas day while my husband took the kids elsewhere. You're carrying his baby and suffering with the pregnancy. You deserve to put your feet up and relax with your children after working so hard to give them a nice Christmas (because I'm betting you did all the present planning, shopping and mental load). You deserve to be appreciated, not abandoned on Christmas day of all days! I'm sure your children would rather be with their mum on Christmas too. Any other day I'd say it would be fine to take the kids out without you.

You can't help that you feel so ill. I'd expect to be put first in those circumstances. Your sister in law should understand that you need to rest at home and that your health comes first. If you were my sister in law I'd insist you all stay at home and arrange to meet another day. Pregnancy sickness can be brutal.

In your situation I'd struggle to forgive my husband if he did this.

What do your boys want? I'd jump at the chance of some alone time!

Let your husband and children enjoy themselves too, it's not just about you and your feelings and I'm saying that in the nicest way possible.

You aren't setting your dc up to accept a new baby if that baby is making you so ill they miss out on spending time with them.

You have a choice, go and be with your children, and just rest there, sit on the settee etc

or stay home on your own. I don’t see why your sil should cater for 5 people who are no longer going

you are pregnant, not dying

You are not unreasonable at all,I am amazed at some of the very cruel responses here, these people have obviously never had children. I think your husband is extremely selfish

If someone told me I could have a couple of hours without overtired grouchy kids on Christmas Day I don't know that I would see that as a bad thing 😂
By that time of day they will be so ready for meltdowns, let them go and enjoy some quiet.
You will be with them all day, they won't be out for ages.
Or alternatively just go and enjoy yourself for a couple of hours the best you can.

🤣are you always this bitter

It's not all about you. It doesn't sound like you'd be doing much with your family if they stayed home. Let them enjoy themselves.

This is true...

Well, I have two and we've all been ill with various colds and stomach bugs since half-term. It's been absolutely constant. I actually can't remember the last time I was feeling completely well.

People are all different and clearly the OP takes a different view, but I can't imagine wanting my children at home with me while I was unwell, if I had the choice, when they could be looked after and entertained elsewhere. I have spent too much time of my life lately trying to pacify over-boisterous little ones with cabin fever from being inside too much with screen time and snacks, while feeling too wretched to parent properly. If someone was offering to host them for a fun afternoon while I rested, I would bite their hand off.