I’ve been with my partner for 5 years now. I was previously married and have three children to my ex. He left me for another women after 15 years. I met my now partner through a friend at work and he pursued me for a while, to which I reciprocated, albeit 2 months after my separation, and then i moved him into my house with me and my children. I believe he is not on the same page as me as he thinks we have a great relationship and tells me he stands in pubs showing my picture off and how proud he is to be with me! the problem is he is a daily drinker, who smokes weed and uses cocaine. I do occasionally drink, once a week at a push, so I’m not pointing fingers but I know my limits and responsibilities which he doesn’t. I’ve made it clear over the years that his lifestyle is not for me and I broke up with him last year for a short while. After pleading, I gave him another chance. He said he would pull his socks up and start putting effort into our relationship more but I feel he isn’t doing that. I’m financially stable as I own my own home and do not rely on him financially at all. I have borrowed him in excess of 25k over the years which he has paid back recently but ive always felt like his safety net and not a priority to him. An important thing to mention is he lost his mum in Feb 2022 and blames all his demons on his grief. I try to be empathetic, but how long do I have to put up with this behaviour and stop feeling bad because he is grieving. I have cried, pleaded and shouted over the years that I am not happy anymore but he chooses to gloss over it and ignore it. We have an almost non existent sex life and I spend a lot of evening alone while he spends his time in his family’s pub. I feel like I’m being taken advantage of. How can he say he loves me so much but want to drink and be away from me so much?