Why is it so hard to find a partner these days

[Singlelooking10012]

Given there are lots of dating apps/ website it should be easy to meet new people. I am a 44 year old man and struggling to meet new people.

cuz of the internet ppl expect too much n

It is the irony of a profusion of available people on apps, but that very proliferation of people online/on apps, actually makes It more difficult. People have too much choice.

Truth cut short?

Mens' mental health is in the gutter at the moment.

The closing of men only spaces, like the old working mens clubs, mean they have nowhere to go. Women have friend circles a lot of the time. Men have their family only. If you don’t have a partner, or any living family, it’s going to be lonely as all hell.

People forget men have needs. Sometimes they just want to talk, sometimes they just want some affection. I say this as a 36 year old married woman with no kids but have been trying for a good while now.

It's rough out there.

Dump the apps and go and do things you enjoy. Enjoy life and people will find you.

I think the old fashioned way is best. Get out there, find some mates to go for a drink with. I'm the same age as you and have had plenty of attention when getting out and just having fun with my friends, no thought of meeting anyone, just having a laugh. I'm a woman so I'm sure that's easier but I do think having a drink lubricates things a bit. Online dating is too much like hard work, I'd rather meet someone face to face and see if there's an attraction before actually going on a date!

Because people have high expectations and standards, woman no longer take any bull shit and many have a huge tick list of what they are looking for. Many of us would rather stay single than settle for something that’s not quite right.

Dating apps are awful from the get go, people are just flicking through a load of photos and judging people purely on looks before they even read a profile 😬. Apparently there’s like a 1:100 chance of meeting your future partner but it works for some people and for some it’s the only way they can meet new people.

As a blind guy, It is so bloody difficult, so all of you on here having similar issues, have my sympathy. Great dates online, but so much effort for guys, not that It's easier for women, have to do a lot of sifting, that you lose the will to live, not to mention the silly questions you get about being blind/disappearing when you mention It. Not universal, and some cracking dates in 2019/2020, but you eventually run out of patience. Physically getting out there is definitely preferable, extending your social circle, going to pubs, chatting up someone in the supermarket, and being confident and funny.

So join clubs/ societies? Can I ask how? Many thanks for the advice

Have a look on FB maybe for local clubs locally. A lot of areas now have local pages.

Look at the local shop notice boards, they tend to have hobby meet ups or local community groups where you can meet like minded people.

Or the village directory, we get one posted once a month through the door, I find it's full off local activities for a good mix of people.

'People' forget men have needs? Women didn't shut the working men's clubs. And there is nothing to stop men starting clubs. All the men's trauma services I'm aware of, men's housing etc. are predominantly staffed by women.

If men did as much as women do for men's needs, there wouldn't' be a need. Women had to start their own services. Men probably should too.

And to add to this, women are not automatic support/service humans for men!
Women do not owe men affection.

Quite right. Women aren't service humans and they don't owe men anything. One advantage of the online dating boom, I suppose, comms and interest is much more level/ people can easily dismiss someone they're not grabbed by.

Thanks I need to get out there, just shy lol

I think sometimes the issue for blokes is that introvert activities tend towards single sex. Dungeons and Dragons and such . Extrovert things tend to be mixed.

Take up dancing.

Or even walking.

And if you have time get a dog and walk the dog.

Talk to everyone.

If your a guy playing playstation in his basement, you can kiss a partner goodbye. Need to get out there. Shy, It Isn't easy of course. Women don't approach blind blokes in a pub in most cases. Combine London with that, then you've got a perfect storm.

Because people have high expectations and standards, woman no longer take any bull shit and many have a huge tick list of what they are looking for. Many of us would rather stay single than settle for something that’s not quite right.

Yes, this is a key driver, I think. I would say both sexes are more choosy now.

Not sure what men’s mental health has to do with things?

The registrar begs to digger and so do jewellery shops Sir.

People are finding partners more than ever because of how and where to find them. It's more about what you are looking for ,how, who and where

Online dating is useless for average or even slightly good looking men.

@Alicia88 , yes. I reckon that's my problem actually! You do need to stand out quickly. Need to get down the gym, likely invest in some weights too. Not fat, 10 stone, but could do with a bit of mussle.

I do think women have raised their standards, before is was almost compulsory to have a partner.
Are you treating women well ? I don't know if you're on the apps but many behave appallingly, same for down at the pub actually.

Edited to add a thread that will give you an idea of behaviors to avoid
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4964653-to-be-put-off-by-men-being-sex-obsessed?reply=131502600

Are they?

after decades of committed singleness,
i might look into this. Maybe it's not too late to change course.