Husband of 8 years has always loved going out drinking until the early hours of the morning.
back 15 years ago he would do it every weekend, also cocaine use occasionally aswel. As we got older had children moved out of London etc it calmed down a bit and maybe became a monthly thing. That’s fine never really bothered me.
he goes out to the pub every Wednesday after work to have a beer, play darts and pool. He drives home so only has a few beers.
about 6 months ago one of Wednesday night he didn’t return until 10am the next morning. He didn’t answer his phone, wasn’t replying to my calls or anything. I was sick with worry, I called all the local hospitals, and called the police. He turned up at home saying he had started drinking properly couldn’t drive home so fell asleep at his friends. Didn’t even bother to send me a text!!! I was furious.
while I was searching for him I contacted his friend he apparently went out with every Wednesday….. turns out it was a lie. He wasn’t meeting this so call friend to play darts like he had told me for months. Husband said he was going out on his own or meeting any friend what was around, as he needed a release and time to himself.
he was drink driving home every single week without my knowing.
after months of working at getting my trust back he started the Wednesday pub trips again. Promised me he wasn’t drink driving, only having 2 beers. Just meeting his brother and friend for a pub dinner and a beer, playing pool and darts. Told me he needs it once a week as his time. As part of my journey to trust him again he agreed to put the 360 location tracker app on his phone. All been going great, he’s been where he said he was, messaging me if I messaged him, answering my calls if I called him, home at a decent time, no evidence of him drinking too much and driving home over the limit. My trust was starting to build again….. now I’m here. 3am in the morning he hasn’t come home, he isn’t answering my calls or messages and he has turned his location off on his phone!!
im devestated. Why is he doing this to me. I can’t take it anymore.
we have 2 young children who adore him, and he is a great dad. 2 weeks before Christmas…..:
I don’t know what to do.