How do you get past cheating?

[Helloisitmeyourelookingforxo]

I've been with my partner for two years. Last year, during the lead up to Christmas, he cheated on me with his ex whom he shares a child with. They temporarily reconciled, conveniently once she knew I was becoming a serious fixture. They spent Christmas together, he was in touch with me until I informed her of this, and I blocked him.
I found out about them sleeping together because she messaged me, he however, continued to stay with me until I found out and dumped him. To be very honest, I was absolutely heartbroken. He was the first serious relationship I'd had in three years after my divorce.
He left shortly after Christmas, because he felt he had made a mistake and did not want to continue with her. He was honest and told her he still loved me. I received a letter in the post, and we began talking through things. This caused masses of grief, and his ex was rather vicious towards me. I got blamed for being a home wrecker etc, despite the fact he had ended things with her before we began speaking again.
I have never, ever returned to someone who has cheated, but if I'm honest, I've never had a relationship like we have. I know people will judge and be negative about my choices, I respect that, but that's my choice to make.
My question is, how do you overcome this kind of experience? We talk through things often, but I am extra anxious due to the time of year and the 'what if's' of it all. He reassures me constantly that it was a mistake and he went back for all the wrong reasons, reasons of which I do understand. How do I move on from this?

Thank you

Though I would say there are things to take into account e.g., if you were early doors in the relationship and you feel you can get past it (I’m too jealous/Lorena Bobbitt for it so can’t tell you first hand but have close friends who have manage) and it was the difficult conversation with the 100000% truth, the reasons behind it, a true change (aka he can’t give it, well it was a grey area shit) and actual forgiveness x

This is something you walk away from and not just get past

Way too much baggage

Lost for words to this reply 🙄😬 the user name maybe appropriate.

I'm so sorry you have gone through this OP

He cheated on you with her and then was messaging you when he was with her.

I've tried to recover from similar and it was impossible, I was crippled with anxiety for 2 years, he was never going to change I just wanted to believe I was enough for him to do it

She will always be some part of his life and that with always hurt you.

You deserve more x

how do you overcome this kind of experience?

Why would you want to? I'd not be able to trust him to not flip flop again. I wouldn't want to put myself through that, ever.

Not judging you, just wondering why you would do that to yourself? What would you advise a sister, daughter or friend to do in these circumstances ?

You absolutely deserve to have a relationship with someone you can trust because they have shown themselves to be worth your trust.