Need a reality check

[Megbryan]

Been with my partner 6 years, had a milestone birthday today and he got me a second hand book I already have unwrapped and for the 3rd year running just worked until late. Am I a brat for feeling down about it or is everyone else’s partner like this.

Is he:
Tight?
Broke?

Neither.

You need to give your head a huge wobble & decide what you want for future birthdays.

@doitwithlove what do you mean?

Do you want to remain with a man with a man who does very little for your birthday

Not a brat! That is a deeply disappointing birthday effort.

They are not bothered to care for your birthday

Not really. I think today was the last straw on the theme of this sort of thing. He’s just not arsed about me in lots of ways. I can’t be bothered anymore hence being on here on my 40th.

That grim. Treat yourself to something nice.

Yeah, like a new boyfriend

I know in mn adults aren’t supposed to care about birthdays but to me it’s a chance to show your love and if my dh couldn’t be bothered to make me happy on my birthday, honestly, what’s the point.

I’d hate a party but travel/theatre/art/jewellery and nice restaurants are the things that make me happy. Dh knows this and plans birthdays accordingly. I’d be gutted if he was totally disinterested and worked late.

Today was your 40th??? Aw wow, Happy Birthday. You deserve better, give yourself that for your birthday - you'll have a better 41st.

Yeah it’s not money it’s just the deflated feeling I guess.

@Allthecheeseplease thank you

Is it's a first edition or a special sentimental book?

If he brought you a second-hand book, that means nothing to you the YANU. It's thoughtless and lacks care. Does he demonstrate care in other ways? I don't think you should spend a lifetime with disappointing milestones. Honestly, I'd prefer to be single.

Happy birthday 🎂

I think you should tell him how it's made you feel. If he cares he will adjust.

As well as it being your 40th - happy birthday, OP 🎉 - make today the day you cast him off as second hand and leave him unwrapped for someone else.

Happy Birthday OP. 🎂🍸

Happy Birthday!!! 🎂

Does he make an effort in other ways? How does he treat you, or his parents, at Christmas?

It wasn’t a first edition or anything just a book I’ve read, I don’t mean that in ungrateful way, it’s just the lack of thought. Maybe i sound awful.

thanks all

I would never buy anyone a second hand book as a present unless it was a very rare edition of something they loved.
any books I buy for others would be new But for a partner’s significant birthday it would be a lot more than that. He sounds shoddy and you deserve better.

I think anyone would be hard pushed to feel grateful when given a second hand book for a special birthday.
If he doesn't show his love for you in other ways , maybe it's time to move on.

I've heard life starts at 40.. maybe it's time for a refresh

You're not a brat and I've heard the saying 'he will treat you on your birthday how he feels about you'. You don't deserve to feel bad on your birthday ❤

Happy birthday. 💐

Gosh! He’s really got it wrong hasn’t he! I’d be absolutely furious and very very hurt.

I think I’d put this down to a really bad, thoughtless uncaring b’day experience but I’d make sure I did something similar, just as uncaring, when it comes to his.
Im a vengeful type!

Thanks for letting me whinge, I’m glad I posted now